One thing that stands out when we study the character of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is his natural ability to handle explosive situations. When competition is keen, honor is at stake or a feeling of injustice is nurtured, great care should be exercised in order to defuse the situation. Whenever a situation threatened to go out of control, the Prophet displayed cool wisdom that was certain to prevent a potential disaster. This came to him naturally, displayed long before he became a prophet.
A few years before his prophethood, when the people of Makkah pulled down the Kaaba and rebuilt it, a dispute arose as to which of their clans should have the honor of putting the Black Stone back in its position. This was considered a matter of great honor, and each clan wanted it. The whole community attached great importance to every honorable action. Therefore, none of them was ready to allow the others that privilege without first putting a fight for it. Several days of arguments could not settle the matter and tempers rose sharply. The situation threatened to develop into a bloody conflict. However, someone suggested that they should agree on arbitration and the arbiter turned out to be Muhammad (peace be upon him).
When the dispute was put to him, he realized that no one was prepared to give in. Therefore, he sought to satisfy everyone. He placed a robe on the ground and put the Black Stone in the middle. He asked the chiefs of all clans to hold the robe and lift it. As they moved to the right corner, they lifted the robe up to the right level. Muhammad then took the Black Stone and placed it in position. He did so as the arbiter, and as such he was not representing his own clan. Thus, no clan could claim a special honor in the process, none was left out. Another situation occurred on his arrival in Madinah. There were two major Arab tribes in Madinah, the Aws and the Khazraj, each of which included several clans. Rivalry between the two tribes was fierce. Only a few years earlier they went into a five-year war against each other. Moreover, within each tribe, its clans sought to add to what brings it honor and pride. As the Prophet arrived in Madinah, each clan wanted to be his host. What could bring them more lasting honor than to be the hosts of Allah’s messenger? He would be receiving Allah’s revelations in their midst. Therefore, every single clan invited him to be their guest, promising protection and hospitality. Any choice the Prophet made would have delighted some of his supporters and dismayed others. He could not wish to make such a choice at the very beginning of his stay in Madinah, where he was in effect seeking refuge.
The Prophet simply released the reign of his she-camel and told his eager hosts that the camel had its orders. Thus, he moved in Madinah, allowing his she-camel free reign while people cleared the way for her. At one point, she sat down close to a solitary house. The owner, Abu Ayyub, came out, overjoyed and took the Prophet’s little luggage inside. The Prophet was to be his guest until he has had suitable accommodation of his own. Thus, no jealousies were allowed to creep in. The Prophet did not favor one clan over another. It was an aspect of the Prophet’s wisdom that he would look for whatever was certain to maintain good feelings among people so that there would be no room for rivalry or conflict.
An important matter for Muslims to realize is that Da’wah is an obligation upon them. Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Invite to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.” (Qur’an, 16:125)
“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining Al-Ma’roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are successful.” (Qur’an, 3:104)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Convey from me, even if it be one verse.” (Al-Bukhari)
Conveying the message therefore is a responsibility on each and every Muslim, according to his or her ability. Yet, this Da’wah should be based on knowledge and practice. One cannot call people to Islam without knowing what Islam is and acting upon it in the first place.
The obligation is further emphasized by the following verse which explains that not conveying the message and hiding knowledge is disobedience to Allah that causes Allah’s curse to descend upon such people.
“Verily, those who conceal the clear proofs, evidences and the guidance, which We have sent down, after We have made it clear for the people in the Book, they are the ones cursed by Allah and cursed by the cursers.” (Qur’an, 2:159)
In the same connection, the Prophet (peace be upon him) has stated, “Whoever hides knowledge, Allah will brand him with the branding iron from the hellfire.” (Ahmad)
Calling people to Allah also means completing our own worship, the reason for which we are created. It is one of the noblest acts that entails a high reward.
“And who is better in speech than he who invites to Allah and does righteous deeds, and says: ‘I am one of the Muslims.’” (Qur’an, 41:33)
With regards to the reward, the Prophet (peace be upon him) has said: “Whoever guides (another) to a good deed will get a reward similar to the one who performs it.” (Sahih Muslim)
Also, “By Allah, if Allah were to guide one man through you it would be better for you than the best type of camels.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Good companionship, choosing and having good companions is extremely important for many reasons and from many aspects. Man cannot live alone; every individual must live and interact with others.
Those people with whom you interact and make friends with are inevitably going to fall into one of two categories. Either they are going to be good individuals – who guide and encourage you towards what is good, and help you to accomplish that which Allah has ordered, or they are going to be bad – encouraging you to do what is pleasing to Satan, that which misleads you and leads you to the Hellfire.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) explained the matter of good companionship, so that no room is left for doubt or confusion, when he said : “A person is affected by the manners of his close friend, so look at whom you befriend.” (Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi)
There is an Arabic expression – ‘Your companion is what pulls you to something.’ So if your companion is good, he will pull you towards that which is good. But if your companion is bad, he will only pull you towards that which is evil. We must choose our friends and companions carefully so that we take for friends who are sincere, and who will command us with what is good and forbid us from what is evil. If he observes us committing sins he would warn us, if he becomes aware of our shortcomings he would advise us, and if he finds a fault in us he would cover it.
Concerning this point the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He neither betrays him nor tells him a lie, nor humiliates him.” (Tirmidhi)
So should you see a fault in your brother, you should wish to remove that fault from him and not expose it to the people. This is what is required by brotherhood and again stresses the importance of choosing friends who are on the right path, who are loyal, and who hide your faults whilst ordering you to do good and forbidding you from evil, who stand beside you and support you, and co-operate with you in all that is good.
A good example of this can be found in Prophet (peace be upon him )who was free from making sins. When he was making the hijrah (migration) from Makkah to Madina he would not leave until he had chosen a companion to accompany him on his journey.
Abu Bakr offered to go with him and make the hijrah also, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered him to wait until Allah allowed him to do so.
This implies that the fact that Abu Bakr was to be the Prophet’s companion on this hijrah was a choice from Allah, and so great a choice and such a blessing that Allah mentioned it in the Qur’an:
“Allah did indeed help him (Muhammad [pbuh]) when the disbelievers drove him out. The second of the two, when they (Muhammad [pbuh] and Abu Bakr) were in the cave, and he said to his companion, ‘Be not sad (or afraid), surely Allah is with us. ‘” (Qur’an 9:40)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “surely Allah is with us,” not “with me.” since Abu Bakr had supported the Prophet (peace be upon him) in establishing Islam, he had thus earned the right to be supported by Allah also.
Abu Bakr – a good friend and companion, one who was willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of Allah and to the service of His Messenger (peace be upon him); his life, his wealth, his sweat, his tears and everything that he owned he gave for Allah ‘s sake. Abu Bakr sets for us this great example of the good companionship.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained the meaning of an aayah.
He said: “Do you know what gheebah (gossip or backbiting) is?”
They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.”
He said: “To say something about your brother that he does not want to be said.”
He was asked, “What do you think if what is said about him is true?”
He said, “If what you say about him is true, this is backbiting, and if what you say about him is not true, this is a lie.”
(Reported by Muslim, 4/2001)..
Gossip or backbiting means saying something about a Muslim which may be true but which he does not like to hear spoken, whether it be about his physical appearance, his adherence to religion, his worldly affairs, his self, his behavior or his character.
There are many forms of gossip, including talking about a persons faults and imitating him to make fun of him.
People take the matter of gheebah very lightly, although it is very serious in the sight of Allah, as is indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
“There are seventy-two forms of riba, the least of which is as bad as a man having intercourse with his own mother, and the worst of which is when a man slanders the honor of his brother.”
(Silsilah al-Saheeh, 1871).
(peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) encouraged us to do this when he said:
“Whoever defends the honor of his Muslim brother, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.”
(Reported by Ahmad, 6/450; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6238).
10. Use your `Fitnah’ to win the heart of your husband
All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah – Azza wa Jal – has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.
9. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting
Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.
8. Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them
The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to `enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.
7. Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.
From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses – as described in the Qur’an. As a wife, continue to use the jewelry that you have and the pretty dresses for your husband.
6. Joke and play games with your husband.
A mans secret: they seek women who are lighthearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.
5. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Then thank him again.
This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.
4. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple `I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault.
When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”
3. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.
Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.
2. Listen and Obey!
Obeying your husband is Fard! Your husband is the Ameer of the household. Give him that right and respect.
1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.
All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta’ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on – by the Mercy of Allah ta’ala – into Jannah.
And Allah knows best
The people of Paradise will enter in the most perfect and beautiful form, in the image of their father, Aadam (as), for there is no human form more perfect and beautiful than that of Aadam, whom Allah (swt) created very tall. He was as tall as a great palm tree, sixty cubits tall. Muslim reports from Abu Hurayrah (ra) that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said,
“Allah, Subhaanahu wa ta’aala, created Aadam in his own image, sixty cubits tall… everyone who enters Paradise will be in the image of Aadam, sixty cubits tall. People kept getting shorter and shorter after the time of Aadam.” [Saheeh Muslim, Kitaab al-Jannah, Baab Yadkhul al-Jannah Aqwam Af’idatuhum mithl af’idatah at-Tayr 4:2183, no. 2841]
Their external appearance will be in harmony, and their hearts will be as one. Their hearts and souls will be clean and pure. Muslim reports from Abu Hurayrah (ra) a hadith in which the Prophet describes people entering Paradise including a group whose light will be like the full moon. He (saw) said, “Their form will be that of a single person, after the image of their father Aadam, sixty cubits tall.” [Saheeh Muslim, Kitaab al-Jannah, Baab Awwal zumrah yadkhuluna al-Jannah, 4/2179, no. 2834]
Another aspect of their beauty is that they will have no body hair, and will look as if their eyes are anointed with kohl. Each of them will enter Paradise aged thirty-three, the age of strength, vitality and youth. Ahmad and at-Tirmidhi report from Mu’aadh ibn Jabal that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “The people of Paradise will enter Paradise hairless, looking as if their eyes are ringed with kohl, aged thirty three.” [Saheeh al-Jaami’ 6/337, no. 7928]
As reported in the hadith narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, from Abu Hurayrah (ra), the people of Paradise “will not spit, blow their noses or excrete“.
The people of Paradise will not sleep. Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah and ‘Abdullaah ibn Abi Awfaa reported that the Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “Sleep is the brother of death; the people of Paradise will not sleep” [Silsilat al-Hadith as-Saheehah, 3/74, no. 1087, al-Kaamil of Ibn ‘Adiyy, al-Hilyah of Abu Na’eem, Taareekh Isbahaan, by Abul-Sheikh]
During the lifetime of the Prophet (peace be upon him), Muslims were mostly enduring hard times, with many Arabian tribes and other forces lined up against them.
Moreover, they suffered economic siege for long periods. Therefore, they were mostly poor. Their clothes were simple, rough and hardly suitable for the climate. Many did not have more than one robe which they would wear every day, at work and other places. With the hot climate in Arabia they were bound to sweat. This often gave them a bad smell. When they came to the mosque, particularly on Friday, the smell was often too sharp for comfort. Some of them complained to the Prophet. He advised all his companions to take a shower on Friday before coming to the prayer.
Abu Said Al-Khudri reports: “I bear witness that God’s messenger (peace be upon him) said: ‘Taking a bath on Friday is a duty on everyone who has attained puberty, as is cleaning his teeth and wearing some perfume if he finds it’.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).
This Hadith is the strongest with regard to the standards of cleanliness that we should observe on Friday. There are other Hadiths which may give more details, but they make clear that such actions are strongly recommended, not duties. The difference is that a duty involves clear instruction that must be obeyed. If it is not, then the person who neglects it leaves himself open to punishment by God. A recommended action is less important. It earns reward for us when we do it, because by doing it we show our obedience to God and His messenger. If we fail to do it, we incur no sin and are liable to no punishment, but we deprive ourselves of the reward that goes with it.
The great majority of scholars are of the view that taking a bath or shower on Friday is strongly recommended, before going out to attend the Friday prayer, which must be offered in congregation. The Prophet also recommended us to use a toothbrush to clean our teeth and mouths. This would ensure that no one will have a bad mouth smell when they come to the mosque. In addition, he has recommended us to wear some perfume. He made it clear that this is recommended, adding the phrase “if he finds it” to indicate that it is not obligatory.
Scholars agree that all these actions should be done before we go out to attend the Friday prayer, which falls due just after midday. However, if one takes a bath early, or at anytime after dawn prayers, he does well. Needless to say, the closer one does this to the time of Friday prayer, the better. However, the matter is left to people’s convenience. It may be that an earlier bath is more convenient for some people, particularly when several adults live in the same house. If they all want to take a bath shortly before the prayer, they may be in each other’s way.
It must be made clear that taking a bath or shower on Friday applies to everyone who attends the prayer, man or woman. It does not apply to children, below the age of puberty, because prayer is not obligatory to them. However, if they are going to the mosque, it is better if they are instructed to take a bath so that they develop this habit at an early age. Friday prayer in the mosque is not obligatory to women, but they are welcome to attend it if they so wish. They are also recommended to follow the same practices of cleanliness.
– By Adil Salahi