1. Start by choosing the right spouse (Nur : 34)
2. Efforts must be exerted to correct any defects in a spouse once married. Develop the family spiritually. Remember Allah often. (Nur : 87)
3. Inculcate iman in the children. Follow the sunnah and read the Quran regularly especially sura baqara. Take care of your family’s education. Teach your spouse and children. Set up both book and audio-visual libraries. Invite good people to visit your home (Nuh : 28)
4. Treat your family as a small social unit. Establish shura by discussing family matters with your spouse and children. Some problems amicably and within the family. Children should not be allowed to see differences or conflicts between the parents. Exchange visits with good families. (Nur : 61)
5. Guard jealously the privacy of your home (Nur : 23, 28, 53)
6. Keep family secrets within your home.
7. Exercise control. Monitor what the children are doing.
8. Make sure that the family follows a fixed meal and sleep times.
9. All members of the family should co-operate in household work.
10. Joke and have some fun and humor with the members of your family. Avoid waste and extravagance. Waste leads to poverty.
11. Do not live a life of hyperconsumerism. Buy only what you need. It’s even advisable to buy less than what you think your needs are, because you often over-estimate those needs. Resist temptation to always ‘want’ things. Do not try to show off or compete.
12. Avoid debts. A debt is an instrument of enslavement.
WHAT ELSE YOU WANT TO KNOW?
1. Religion is the basis for family formation (Quran 2 : 221)
2. Family relations based on marriage and blood (Quran 25 : 54)
3. Family is a source of tranquility (Quran 25 : 74)
4. Husband as head of the family (Quran 4 : 34)
5. Wife is a leader in her home – Narrated Ibn Umar : The Prophet said, ‘All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards, The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards’ (Bukhari 7:98 hadith #128)
6. Duty to save family (Quran 66 : 1, 3-6)
7. Kindness for the young; respect for the old – ‘Hazrat Amr bin Shuaib relates on the authority of his father who heard it from his father, that the Holy Prophet (may peace be upon him) said: A person who has no compassion for our children and does not honor our elders is not from us’ (Abu Daud and Tirmidhi) (Riyadh 1:217, hadith #355)
8. Expenditure on the family is sadaqa – Narrated Abu Mas’ud Al-Ansari : The Prophet said, ‘When a Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah’s reward it is regarded as sadaqa for him’ (Bukhari 7:201, hadith #263)
9. Justice takes precedence over family (Quran 4 : 135)
10. Financial security – Narrated Umar: The Prophet used to sell the dates of the garden of Bani An-Nadir and store for his family so many foods as would cover their needs for a whole year’ (Bukhari 7:204, hadith # 270)