How To Control Anger?
1 – Seeking refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan when feeling angry.
Al-Bukhaari (3282) and Muslim (2610) narrated that Sulaymaan ibn Surad said: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and two men were trading insults, One of them was red in the face and his veins were standing out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“I know a word which, if he said it, what he is feeling would go away. If he said, ‘I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan,’ what he is feeling would go away.”
2 – Changing one’s posture when feeling angry.
Abu Dawood (4782) narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us:
“If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down; if his anger disappears, all well and good, otherwise let him lie down.”
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
3 – Bring to mind the reward for patience, forbearance and restraining your anger,
for that is the characteristic of the pious who are promised Paradise,
as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
133. Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous,–
134. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;–
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:133-134]
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with pleasure on the Day of Resurrection. ”
Narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 2623.
Cures for Anger
When talking about cures for anger, it’s important to think about why we get angry in the first place.
A lot of the time, people get angry because they lose control of a situation. Anger is their attempt to regain control, but in actuality, does not help at all. It actually makes it worse because when a person is angry, he has shown weakness. He puts himself at a disadvantage both in dealing with people (in a debate, for example), and also in dealing with shaitan. He becomes a much weaker prey for shaitan.
This is why our beloved Prophet saws said,
“The strong is not the one who is physically powerful, but indeed, the one who controls himself when angry.”
If anger is a problem for you, it may be helpful for you to write down all the times that you can remember that you got angry…then look for a common factor that made you angry, or rather made you act on your anger.
Feeling anger is normal, and the act of being angry is not in and of itself necessarily sinful. It’s what you do with that anger that makes it a problem.
And while we’re on the subject, there’s an amazing lecture (As always mA) by brother Nouman about the characteristics of the people of jannah, as taken from verses in Surah aal Imraan.
One of them is that they swallow their anger. Brother Nouman analyzes why the word ’swallow’ is used, and not ‘control’, etc.
When we are eating something, and let’s say someone is coming, and we don’t want them to know we were eating, so we quickly swallow the food.. will the person know we were eating? No, right? If there are no signs, like chewing, etc, the person will not even suspect that we were eating.
So in the same way, Allah swt tells us that the people who shall enter jannah swallow their anger, or make it completely go away…to the point where the people around them do not even suspect that the person is angry. Subhan Allah.
Usually, when someone is angry, and they’re trying to control themselves, you’ll see them shaking, or turning red, or holding themselves back. And then someone will go and ask them if they’re ok.
So the best thing to do, is when you feel anger coming up from inside you, quickly swallow it and make it disappear. Of course it won’t be that easy, but if you make it your habit, it will become easier and easier to do. And it’s important to note that Allah swt tells us that the people of jannah swallow their anger, not that they don’t have anger.