Marriage Without Consent Of Woman Is Invalid
Author: Syeda Muneeba Masood
Assalam o Alaikum,
Dear Brothers & Sisters in Islam
Islam has given equal rights to men and women. Marriage is one of the very important and sensitive decisions of one’s life. Islam has given a glad tiding to women that marriage without the consent of a woman is invalid (Haram). Therefore it is necessary for the parents, guardian, or family members to seek permission from the woman before making or finalizing her marriage bond.
After 1425 years of Islam, still we see many illiterate families which are following the so-called cultures of their ancestors and do not bother to ask girls before tying them into a marriage bond. Such negligence causes a lot of grievances in their own families and society; such marriages have a poor end!
Marriage of a minor girl (who is not an adult) can be performed without her consent. But after she becomes an adult, she can cancel the marriage relationship.
Before Islam, it was a usual practice to take over the woman whose husband would die. But Islam forbade this practice. In Muslim rural areas and villages of the Subcontinent, it is still a practice to kill the woman as soon as her husband dies. This custom is called ‘Karo Kaari’. In these areas, widow woman is considered to be a blaspheme. Islamic Dawah organizations should visit these areas and teach their residents about the Islamic wisdom where a woman is still deprived of false pagan traditions much resembling Hinduism.
* HADITH
Narrated Ibn Abbas: regarding the Divine Verse: “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness that you may take back part of the (Mahr) dower you have given them.” (4.19) (Before this revelation) if a man died, his relatives used to have the right to inherit his wife, and one of them could marry her if he would, or they would give her in marriage if they wished, or, if they wished, they would not give her in marriage at all, and they would be more entitled to dispose of her, than her own relatives. So the above Verse was revealed in this connection. (Book #60, Hadith #103)
Parents, guardians, and family members should take the woman and girls in confidence so that can freely inform their consent to them. Sometimes women and girls are so forced to show their positive consent that they remain quiet because of fear of their families and their families think that they agree. The woman and girls who are reading this article should be aware of the rights Islam has granted them. If you are quiet because of your agreed consent then it is fine but if you do not agree to a proposal then speak; because silence is considered to be permission.
* HADITH
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her, and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! How can we know her permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her permission).” (Book #62, Hadith #67)
Matron is a woman who had been married once. Just like the consent of a virgin girl is necessary, a matron’s consent is also necessary.
* HADITH
Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya: that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah’s Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid. (Book #62, Hadith #69)
Allah Haafiz
Muneeba
Praise be to Allaah.
The issue of this marriage depends on the ruling on what came before it. If the love between the two parties did not transgress the limits set by Allaah or make them commit sin, then there is the hope that the marriage which results from this love will be more stable, because it came about as the result of the fact that each of them wanted to marry the other.
If a man feels some attraction towards a woman whom it is permissible for him to marry her, and vice versa, there is no answer to the problem except marriage. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1847; classed as saheeh by al-Busayri and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
Al-Sindi said, as noted in Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
The phrase “We do not think that there is anything better for those who love one another than marriage” may be understood to refer to two or to more than two. What this means is that if there is love between two people, that love cannot be increased or made to last longer by anything like marriage. If there is marriage as well as that love, that love will increase and grow stronger every day.”
But if that marriage comes about as a result of an illicit love relationship, such as when they meet and are alone together and kiss one another, and other haraam actions, then it will never be stable, because they committed actions that go against sharee’ah and because they have built their lives on things that will have the effect of reducing blessings and support from Allaah, for sin is a major factor in reducing blessings, even though some people think, because of the Shaytaan’s whispers, that falling in love and doing haraam deeds makes marriage stronger.
Moreover, these illicit relationships that take place before marriage will be a cause to make each party doubtful about the other. The husband will think that his wife may possibly have a similar relationship with someone else, and even if he thinks it unlikely, he will still be troubled by the fact that his wife did do something wrong with him. And the same thoughts may occur to the wife too, and she will think that her husband could possibly have an affair with another woman, and even if she thinks it unlikely, she will still be troubled by the fact that her husband did something wrong with her.
So each partner will live in a state of doubt and suspicion, which will ruin their relationship sooner or later.
The husband may condemn his wife for having agreed to have a relationship with him before marriage, which will be upsetting for her, and this will cause their relationship to deteriorate.
Hence we think that if a marriage is based upon an illicit premarital relationship, it will most likely be unstable and will not be successful.
With regard to arranged marriages where the family chooses the partner, they are not all good and not all bad. If the family makes a good choice and the woman is religious and beautiful, and the husband likes her and wants to marry her, then there is the hope that their marriage will be stable and successful. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) urged the one who wants to get married to look at the woman. It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1087; classed as hasan by al-Nasaa’i, 3235)
But if the family make a bad choice, or they make a good choice but the husband does not agree with it, then this marriage is most likely doomed to failure and instability, because the marriage that is based on lack of interest usually is not stable.
And Allaah knows best.