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The Ideal Muslim Husband & Wife

 

Islamic view of marriage

Marriage in Islam offers tranquillity to the soul and peace of mind, so that man and woman may live together in an atmosphere of love, mercy, harmony, co-operation, mutual advice and tolerance, and lay the foundation for raising a Muslim family in a nurturing, sound environment.

The Holy Qur’an has described, in the most moving and eloquent terms, this eternal, natural relationship between man and woman, which is filled with tranquility, security, love, understanding and compassion:

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30: 21)

Marriage is a union of souls, in the deepest sense. Allah joins these two souls together so that they may enjoy tranquillity and stability in a marital home filled with sincere love and compassionate mercy.

In Islam, the righteous woman is viewed as one of the joys of this life, and a great blessing to a man, for he comes home to her and relaxes after facing the struggles of life, and finds with her incomparable peace, comfort and pleasure. The Prophet (peace be upon him) spoke the truth when he said:

“This world is just temporary enjoyment, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.” (Muslim)

Islam regards marriage very highly, and views femininity as something to be valued and cherished.

The ideal Muslim wife
On the basis of this view of marriage and of women, the Muslim is not attracted by the empty-headed attitude displayed by some girls nowadays. Rather, he is attracted by a sound Muslim personality, and he takes his time in choosing a partner for life, looking for a partner who has the right Islamic characteristics which will make for a stable and happy married life. Therefore he is not interested in the superficial physical beauty, grace and elegance that are the sole concerns of empty-headed youngsters. While he does not ignore physical looks, he also looks for strong religious belief and practice, intelligence, and good behavior, following the advice of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

“A woman may be married for four things: for her wealth, for her noble descent, for her beauty or for her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust!” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Although the Prophet (peace be upon him) advised the young Muslim to look for a religious wife, this does not mean that he should ignore his preferences regarding physical beauty. The Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraged seeing a woman before finalizing the marriage, so that a Muslim will not find himself trapped in a marriage with a woman he finds unattractive.

Al-Mugheerah Ibn Shu’bah said:

“I got engaged to a woman during the time of the Prophet. He asked me, ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and have a look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.'”

A man who had got engaged to a woman of the Ansar came to the Prophet, who asked him: “Have you seen her?” He said, “No.” so the Prophet ordered him to go and see her.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized, in more than one Hadith, the fact that beauty is one of the basic characteristics that a man should look for in a woman, besides the other, moral, characteristics that are desirable. Indeed, the two are inseparable. For example, he told Ibn ‘Abbas:

“Shall I tell you the most precious thing a man can have? It is a righteous wife: when he looks at her he is pleased, when he tells her to do something she obeys, and when he is away she is faithful and loyal to him.”

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

“The Prophet was asked: ‘Which woman is the best?’ He said, ‘The one who pleases him when he looks at her, who obeys him when he tells her to do something, and who does not do something he dislikes with regard to herself or to his wealth.”

This is the guidance given by the Prophet (peace be upon him) regarding the personality of the woman who can bring happiness, tranquillity and stability to a man, and who can make a cheerful, pleasant and secure home in which to raise a brood of successful, courageous and intelligent children.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) insisted that marriage should be firmly built on a solid foundation, striking a balance between physical, mental, spiritual and emotional needs, so that it will not be rocked by personality clashes or differences in attitude. Therefore the true Muslim who is guided by the Shariah of Allah in all his affairs, does not fall for the wiles of the “Jezebels” who are the beautiful women of bad character; rather he tells people: “Beware of the ‘Jezebels’.”

– published by International Islamic Publishing House, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

Prophet’s Medicine On Treating Headaches

HEADACHES usually occur when the head becomes hot due to the pressure of a septic vapor that accumulates near it seeking a way out of the body, but fails. The pressure of the vapor intensifies, just as a pot that is heated but its steam is not able to escape from it. It is a fact that when moisture heats up, it seeks more space and causes a headache because it is unable to expand or escape from the body. This condition causes a type of dizziness.

There are various causes of headaches:

• When one of the four essential conditions (cold, hot, dryness and wetness) becomes predominant.

• Ulcers of the stomach cause headaches, because the cephalic (relating to the head) nerves and the stomach are connected.

• Thick flatulence might accumulate in the stomach then later ascend to the head and cause headaches.

• Headaches are sometimes cause by a tumor in the gastric veins that cause pain in the head.

• When the stomach is full of food it sometimes provokes headaches, as some of the food remains undigested.

• Headaches sometimes occur after sexual intercourse because the body will then be weakened and thus exposed to the heat of the air.

• Headaches sometimes occur after vomiting due to excessive dryness, or to accumulating gaseous materials (flatulence) that ascend to the head from the stomach.

• Not having enough sleep also causes headaches.

• Headaches are sometimes caused due to the pressure exerted on the head, such as when one carries a heavy object on his head.

• Excessive movements and physical activity can also provoke headaches.

• Sadness, depression, obsession, and evil thoughts also provoke headaches.

• Excessive hunger also provokes headaches.

• Those who suffer from a tumor in the cerebral lining sometimes feel as if hammers are constantly pounding on their heads.

• Fever also provokes headaches because of the intense heat that the body suffers from.

The weaker side of the brain will accept septic material and the migraine headache will be accompanied by pulsation in the arteries. The pain may be relieved in this case when one ties a bandage so that the pulsating of the arteries is stopped and thus the pain is lessened.

Abu Na’im said in his book on Prophetic medicine that the migraine type of headache used to attack the Prophet (peace be upon him) and that it would prevent him going out of his house for one or two days at a time. Also, Abu Na’im related from Ibn Abbas that he said, “Once, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) delivered a speech while a cloth was tied around his head.”

Also the Sahih states that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said during the illness that preceded his death: “O my head!” and he used to tie a piece of cloth around his head.

Tying a piece of cloth around the head helps soothe the pain of headaches and migraines. Treating headaches varies according to their type and cause. Hence, headaches could be relieved by vomiting, eating, resting, using cold rags, cooling the body, elevating the temperature, avoiding noise, etc.

Knowing these facts, we should mention that treating headaches with Henna is partial and that it treats only some types of headache. If the headache is caused by high fever – and not by a spoiled substance that requires extraction – Henna blended with vinegar and applied to the forehead will relieve the headache. Henna also soothes the nerves when used as a bandage. Finally, Henna is not only favorable to relieve headaches, but also for various organs of the body and for the hot tumor and inflammations when used as a bandage.

– Ibn-ul-Qayyim is a 7th century Hijra Islamic scholar and this article on headaches is an excerpt from his book Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet.

Stinginess Draws Allah’s Wrath

How often we forget the blessings of Allah. This forgetfulness leads us to stinginess and pride. Our nature and with the less fortunate change as if they are people who have no worth.

A story mentioned in Surah Al-Qalam of the Qur’an about certain brothers who inherited a garden is a great reminder for all of us. Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) said the polytheists of Quraish were likened to the people of the garden. The garden had trees and plants of various fruits, and the time for harvest had come.

Allah said: “When they swore” secretly “to pluck the fruits of the (garden)” i.e. to harvest it; “in the morning” to avoid being seen by the poor and needy, lest they should be forced to give them some fruits in charity.

So, the young men swore without saying Insha Allah (If Allah wills). Consequently, Allah the Almighty foiled their plans and sent over their garden a fire that burnt it and left nothing behind.

Allah said: “Then, there passed by on the (garden) something (fire) from your Lord at night and burnt it while they were asleep. So the (garden) became black by the morning, like a pitch dark night (in complete ruin).” “Then they called out one to another as soon as the morning broke,” i.e. they got up in the morning and told each other: “Go to your tilth in the morning, if you would pluck the fruits,” i.e. go early to your garden and pluck the fruits before the poor and needy come asking you for charity.

“So they departed, conversing in secret low tones,” “No Miskin (poor man) shall enter upon you into it today,” “And they went in the morning with strong intention, thinking that they have power (to prevent the poor taking anything of the fruits therefrom).” Ikrimah and Ash-Shu’abi said they went with rage and bad intention against the poor. “But when they saw the (garden),” “they said: Verily, we have gone astray”, i.e. we have lost our way to our own garden. Then they realized: “Nay! Indeed we are deprived of (the fruits)!”, i.e. we have been punished because of our bad intentions and were deprived of the blessing of our tilth.

And, “the best among them said” (Ibn Abbas, Mujahid and others said he was the best and the most moderate and just one among them).

“Did I not tell you: why do you not say: Insha’Allah (If Allah wills).” Meaning, to say a good word instead of what you have intended.

“They said: “Glory to Our Lord! Verily, we have been Zalimun (wrong-doers).” Then they turned one against another, blaming. They said: “Woe to us! Verily, we were Taghun (transgressors and disobedient),” They regretted and showed sorrow but it could not help them. They confessed their sin after they had been punished.

The men are said to be brothers who inherited that garden from their late father who used to give a lot in charity. But, when they inherited the garden they stopped giving in charity and intended to deprive the poor of its fruits. Thereupon, Allah the Almighty punished them and meted out to them the severest of penalties.

Allah has commanded that Zakah must be taken out on agricultural produce and should preferably be paid on the day of harvesting. He says: “Eat of their fruit when they ripen, but pay the due thereof (its Zakah, according to Allah’s Orders l/lOth or 1/20th) on the day of its harvest.” (Qur’an, 6:141)

– Stories of the Qur’an by Ibn Katheer

Ten Ways Of Developing Love For Allah

There is no one worthy to be worshiped but Allah, Muhammad is His (last) Messenger.

Adapted from Ibn Qayyim’s “Madarij-us-Saalikeen”.Ibn al-Qayyim says: “The reasons which cause mahabbah (love) of Allah to develop, are ten:

First: Reciting the Qur’an, reflecting and understanding its meaning and its intent
Second: Drawing closer to Allah – the Most High – through optional deeds, after fulfilling the obligatory duties.
Third: Being continuous in the dhikr (remembrance) of Allah, with the tongue, the heart and the limbs – under all circumstances. The more continuant the dhikr, the more muhabbah develops and intensifies.
Fourth: Giving precedence to what Allah loves over personal loves, when being overcome by desires.
Fifth: Contemplating and deliberating over the Names and Attributes of Allah.
Sixth: Recognizing and remembering the favors and bounties of Allah – both manifest and hidden.
Seventh: To be humble and submissive before Allah – and this is the greatest matter.
Eighth: To be in seclusion reciting the Qur’an, during that time in which Allah descends to the lowest heaven (which is the last third of every night), finishing this recitation with seeking Allah’’s forgiveness and repenting to Him.
Ninth: To sit in the gatherings of the true and sincere lovers of Allah, reaping the fruits of their speech, and not to speak except if there is benefit in it and that you know that such talk will increase you in goodness and that it will benefit others as well.
Tenth: To stay clear of all those causes which distances the heart from Allah – the Mighty and Majestic.

So these are the ten reasons which cause the person to develop true love for Allah and to reach the rank of al-muhabbah, by which he reaches his Beloved.

Hadith Affecting The Emotions

Sahih Bukhari Hadith

1. Health and leisure

Hadith 8.421 Narrated by Ibn Abbas (Radhiallah hu Taala anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good.”

Hadith 8.422 Narrated by Anas (Radhiallah hu Taala anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “O Allah! There is no life worth living except the life of the Hereafter, so (please) make righteous the Ansar and the Emigrants.”

Hadith 8.423 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad As Saidi (Radhiallah hu Taala anhu)
We were in the company of Allah’s Apostle in (the battle of) Al-Khandaq, and he was digging the trench while we were carrying the earth away. He looked at us and said, “O Allah! There is no life worth living except the life of the Hereafter, so (please) forgive the Ansar and the Emigrants.”

2. This world in contrast with the Hereafter

Hadith 8.424 Narrated by Sahl (Radhiallah hu Taala anhu)
I heard the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) saying, “A (small) place equal to an area occupied by a whip in Paradise is better than the (whole) world and whatever is in it; and an undertaking (journey) in the forenoon or in the afternoon for Allah’s Cause, is better than the whole world and whatever is in it.”

Hereafter: Life After Death

Many people wonder as to how a person with a scientific and logical temperament, can lend any credence to the belief of life after death. People assume that anyone believing in the hereafter is doing so on the basis of blind belief and one will get result here during the life.

Concept of peace and human values or good or bad is useless without the concept of hereafter. One thing or act can be bad in the eyes of a person but could be good or beneficial for another one.

Every human being wants justice: Do the human law provide justice to all human kind?
The people who do injustice should be punished: Can we punish a murderer of 100 people as compared to a murderer of a single person?

This life is a test for the hereafter: If it is not, then why few people are wealthy and enjoying luxuries of life and why few are poor and don’t even have enough food to eat. Life is a test for both of them.

Final justice will be on the day of judgment. No human law can provide 100% justice to all human kind. There will be definitely a day of judgment for final justice.