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What Does Istiadhah Mean?

Isti’adhah is to say: A’ooudhu billahi min-ash-shaitaan-ir-rajeem. It means, “I seek refuge with Allah from the cursed Satan.”

Allah’s refuge is sought from Shaitan to prevent him from affecting our religious or worldly affairs or hindering us from adhering to what we are commanded, or luring us into what we are prohibited from. Only Allah is able to prevent the evil of Satan from touching the son of Adam.

Allah allowed us to be lenient and kind with human devils (sinners and wrongdoers among human beings) because soft nature may refrain such sinners from the evil they are indulging in. However, Allah required us to seek refuge from the evil of Satan because Satan neither accepts bribes nor does kindness affect him, for he is pure evil. Thus, only He Who created Satan is able to stop his evil. This meaning is reiterated in only three verses in the Qur’an. Allah said in Surat Al-A`raf:

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them).” (Qur’an, 7:199)

This verse is about dealing with human beings. Allah then said in the next verse:

“And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaytan, then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower.” (Qur’an, 7: 200)

Allah also said:
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better, then verily he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient – and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter, i.e. Paradise and of a high moral character) in this world. And if an evil whisper from Shaytan tries to turn you away (from doing good), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.” (Qur’an, 41:34-36)

– Ibn Kathir’s Tafsir of Surah Fatihah

Husband’s Responsibility, Etiquette Towards His Wife

It is certainly not a deficiency, but rather good manners, that the husband shares responsibility in household work like mending garments or what is similar to that. The wife takes care of the household affairs. So, it is from good manners that the husband extends a helping hand to his wife in the house during times of necessity such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth, etc. A man should not feel shy in serving himself.

The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by keeping good relations and showing kind manners (to her). Truly, the husbands who help their wives in their work are the best of mankind in the view of Islam. This good way of living between the spouses must be deeply embedded into the daily marital life, even if the matter were to reach a divorce.

Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with over-seriousness. For indeed characterizing the family life with a militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad results.

Among the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden in the Religion. Extravagance in food, drink, and clothing leads to the door of forbidden things in the Religion.

No human being is perfect. So no doubt the husband will see things in his wife that does not comply with his preferences. If these aspects are not in opposition to the fundaments of the Religion or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then he should not try to change her personality to make it comply with his preferences.

He must always remember that for each one of the couple, there will be an aspect of one’s personality that conflicts with the other’s personality. The husband should always remember that if he doesn’t like some things in his wife, then indeed she will have other characteristics that are definitely pleasing to him.

Do not look for the errors of your wife and recount them to her, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between the two of you, and it will pose a threat to your marital life. So overlook each other’s mistakes.

If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her. This is of course according to the extent of your ability.

Do not belittle the importance of correcting your wife if she does things that go against Religion. This should be the main, if not the only reason that should cause you to become angry.

The woman is the head of the household, the one responsible for it. So do not attempt to meddle into affairs that do not fall into your area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the upkeep of the house.

Beware of scolding your wife in presence of others, even if they are your own children. For indeed that is unsuitable behavior that turns the hearts of people against each other.

Having protective jealousy and caring about the modesty of your wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows your love for her. However, it is on the condition that you do not go to great lengths in this jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something worthy of no praise.

Beware of divulging any secrets connected with the intimate encounters you have with your wife, for that is something restricted and forbidden.

Constantly maintain the cleaning of your mouth and the freshening of your breath.

Guardianship of your wife doesn’t mean that you can exploit what Allah has bestowed upon you from taking charge of her, such that you harm and oppress her.

Showing respect and kindness to your wife’s family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.

Too much joking will lead to (your family having) little fear (of disobeying you) and a lack of respect for you. So do not joke too much and lose respect.

Fulfilling the conditions that you promised your wife in the marriage contract is very important. So do not neglect that after getting married.

When you advise her or simply talk to her, choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions. It is not proper for you to ask your wife to look for work outside the house or to spend upon you from her wealth.

Do not overburden your wife with chores that she is not able to handle. Consider, with extreme regard, the environment she was raised up in. Working in a rural atmosphere is not like that in urban places. What a strong woman is prepared for and able to do, cannot be done by a weak woman.

The Old Man’s Joy After Extreme Hardship

IBN Jarir At-Tabari (d. 310H) narrates:
I was in Makkah during the season of Haj and I saw a man from Khurasan calling out to the people, “Pilgrims, people of Makkah, I have lost a pouch that contains a thousand dinars. So whoever returns the pouch will be rewarded by Allah with good and saved from the Hellfire, and His bounty and favors will be acquired on the Day of Accounting.”

An old man from the people of Makkah approached him and said, “Khurasani, our city is in very tough condition, and the days of Haj are few, and its season is appointed, and the doors of profit-making are closed. This money might fall into the hands of a believer who is poor and old in age. Maybe he plans to give it back if you promise that you will give him a little bit of money that is Halal (permissible) for him to use.”

The Khurasani asked, “How much does he want?”

“He wants one-tenth of the money.”

The Khurasani replied, “No, I will not grant him the money. Instead, I will take my case to Allah and complain to Him on the day we meet Him, and Allah is sufficient for us and the best one to trust in.”

I realized that it was the old man who was poor, and he was the one who had taken the pouch of dinars and wished to have a little portion of it. So I followed him until he returned to his home. My assumptions were confirmed. I heard him calling onto his wife, “Lubabah!”

She said, “I am at your service, Abu Ghayth.”

The old man said, “I found the owner of the dinars calling for it, and he does not intend to give any reward to the person who finds it. I said to him, ‘Give us a hundred dinars,’ and he refused and said he would take his case to Allah. What should I do, Lubabah? I must return it, for I fear my Lord and I fear that my sin is multiplied.”

The wife replied, “Oh man! We have been struggling and suffering from poverty with you for the last 50 years, and you have four daughters, two sisters, my mother and me, and you are the ninth. Keep all the money and feed us, for we are hungry, and clothe us, for you know better our situation. Perhaps, Allah, the Almighty will make you rich afterward and you might be able to give the money back after you have fed your children, or Allah will pay the amount you owe on the day when the kingdom will belong to the King (Allah).”

The old exclaimed, “Will I consume Haraam (unlawful) after 86 years of my life, and burn my organs with fire after I have been patient with my poverty, and become worthy of Allah’s anger, even though I am close to my grave? No, by Allah, I will not do so!”

I left amazed at his condition and that of his wife.

Later I heard the owner of the pouch calling out again, and the old man repeated his advice. This time he asked for 10 dinars instead of a hundred.

The Khurasani refused.

The people dispersed and left. Later, once again, the Khurasani made the same call.

The old man came again and said, “Khurasani, I said to you the day before yesterday to reward the finder a hundred dinars and you refused. Then I advised you to give him ten dinars and you refused. So will you give only one dinar so that he can buy with half of it things he needs and with the other half sheep’s milk so that he can give to the people and feed his children?”

The Khurasani again refused.

The old man said angrily, “Come and take your money so that I can sleep at night, for I have not been in a good mood ever since I found this money.”

So the old man went with the owner of the money and I followed them until the old man entered his house, dug a hole, and pulled out the money and said, “Take your money and ask Allah to forgive me and bless me from His bounty.”

The Khurasani then said, “Old man, my father died — may Allah have mercy on him — and left behind three thousand dinars and said to me, ‘Take out a third of this money and give it to a person from the people who is most deserving of it.’

By Allah, I have not seen a person since I left Khurasan until now, who is more worthy of it than you. So take it, may Allah’s blessing be upon you, and may He reward you for the trust you kept and your patience during poverty.”

The Khurasani man left without the money.

The old man wept and prayed, “May Allah bless the owner of the money in his grave, and may Allah bless his son.”

I left after the Khurasani but Abu Ghayth, the old man, brought me back. He said, “I have seen you following me since the first day; you have come to know of our situation yesterday and today. So this is a gift from Allah to all those attending.”

The old man called his daughters, his sisters, and his wife and her mother, and sat down and made me sit down. We were 10. The old man gave out the dinars one by one in order until he reached me and said, “Here is a dinar.” The process continued until the bag was empty and I received a hundred dinars.

So joy filled my heart because of the provision they received, more than the joy I had because I received a hundred dinars.

When I was leaving the old man said, “Young man, you are blessed. Keep this money with you, for it is Halal. And know that I used to wake up for Fajr prayer with this wet shirt. After I was done I would take it off and give it to my daughters so that they could pray, one by one. Then I would go to work between Zuhr Prayer and Asr Prayer and then I would come back at the end of the day with what Allah has given me of dates and dry pieces of bread. Then I would take off my clothes for my daughters and they would pray Zuhr and `Asr, and the same would happen for the Maghrib and `Isha’ Prayers. And we did not ever expect to see this kind of money. So may Allah make us make good use of them, and may Allah bless the person in his grave and multiply the reward for him.”

So I told him goodbye and took the hundred dinars and used them to write knowledge for two years. I used it to buy paper and pay rent, and after 16 years I returned to Makkah and inquired about the old man. I was told that he had died a few months after the incident that occurred between us. His wife had died, along with her mother and his two sisters. The only ones that remained were the daughters, who, I found upon asking, were married to kings and princes. I dropped by and they honored me as a guest and treated me kindly until they died also. So May Allah blesses them in their graves.

“…And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him…” (Qur’an, 65:2-3).

 

Time Management In Islam

Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There are two blessings which deceive many people: health and free time.” [ Narrated by Imam Bukhari ]

Among the widespread social diseases common among youth and elderly is time-wasting. These days majority of people spend their evenings and nights in pleasures, distractions, amusements, and wasting time; pleasures that may or maynot be permissible.

After Isha’s prayers or closing down of their shops,people return to their homes and sit in front of the television hopping between channels. Ponder about the loss of time and what you are doing! Boredom has spread amongst people so much that it’s becoming hard for television stations to satisfy their viewers. Most people spend their evenings until midnight or even later watching the news, serials or movies until they get tired and fall Asleep.

Why did we sink to this level?
It is from the lack of knowledge of fundamentals of wisdom! The elderly would advise the youth to heed the importance of time and of one’s lifetime, both in the religious and worldly sense.

The one who does not wish to spend his time in obedience to Allah is heedless and far from his Protector. Therefore it is necessary for him to take stock of his matters in worldly affairs, business, lessons, and his actions.

It is necessary that he busy himself by building for what will come, to develop to acquire new knowledge every day, and not to fritter away his time and energy. For him, who desires success ,it is necessary to exhaust himself and work hard. If such a person finds free time how could he ever waste it?

Take Benefit From FIVE Things Before FIVE Things
Because aiming high requires hard work and exhaustion. In hadith of ibn Abbas radi Allahu anhu the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said to a man while he was advising him: “Take advantage of five matters before five things overtake them matters:
· your youth, before you become old;
· your health, before you fall sick;
· your richness, before you become poor;
· your free time before you become busy;
· and Your life, before your death.
{Mustadrak of Al-Haakim, musnad Imam Ahmad, and others, with an authentic chain of narration.}

To profit from something precious necessitates one is keen not to lose it.

Your life, before your death.
You are alive at this moment; you donot know when death will take you and you know it cannot miss you. It may have taken your neighbor, your father, your grandfather, mother, and brother. Perhaps this time will be your turn. One’s time of death is unseen which Almighty Allah has veiled from you.

You are alive at this moment and able to act. When a man dies his actions are cut off You are alive and are able to move, breathe, and physically able to work… Almighty Allah has opened doors of action to earn righteous works and not to commit sins.

Your Free Time Before You Become Busy
You have limited time. Do your utmost in seeking knowledge during the night and during the day. Seeking knowledge is for the sake of discovering wonders of the sovereignty of Allah, increasing faith, benefitting people through medicine, architecture, history, mathematics, and other types of sciences. If you correct your intentions for the sake of Almighty Allah you would be rewarded for this toil and hard work.

Imam Ghazali writes: “You should not neglect your time or use it haphazardly; on the contrary, you should bring yourself into account, structure your litanies and other practices during each day and night, and assign to each period a fixed and specific function.

This is how to bring out the spiritual blessing (barakah) in each period. But if you leave yourself adrift, aimlessly wandering as cattle do, not knowing how to occupy yourself at every moment, your time will be lost.

It is nothing other than your life, and your life is the capital that you make use of to reach perpetual felicity in the proximity of God the Exalted. Each of your breaths is a priceless jewel, since each of them is irreplaceable and, once gone, can never be retrieved. Do not be like the deceived fools who are joyous because each day their wealth increases while their life shortens.

What good is an increase in wealth when life grows ever shorter? Therefore be joyous only for an increase in  knowledge or in good works, for they are your two companions who will accompany you in your grave when your family, wealth, children, and friends stay behind.”
[Ghazali, The Beginnings of Guidance, p23]

Is Marriage Obligatory?

At first, I would like to state that Islam, being a moderate religion, generally encourages marriage as the pure and legitimate way for regulating man’s sexual appetite and procreating, and it is against curbing man’s desire through celibacy. Marriage was the Sunnah of the Prophet, as explained in the following Hadith reported by Al-Bukhari on the authority of Anas ibn Malik:

“A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshiped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, ‘Where do we stand in relation to the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven.’ Then one of them said, ‘I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever.’ Another said, ‘I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast.’ The third said, ‘I will keep away from women and will never marry.’ Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) came to them and said, “Are you the same people who said such-and-such? By Allah, I am more obedient to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion is not from me (not one of my followers).”

However, the Islamic ruling on marriage differs according to the state and conditions of each person. It can be highly recommended in some cases, or even obligatory under certain conditions. It can also be prohibited or only permitted under other circumstances.

Although marriage is generally considered a highly recommended act, yet from the point of view of fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) – because of diverse circumstances – it can readily fall into one of the four categories listed below: Fard (obligatory) or mustahabb (recommended) or haram (forbidden) or simply halal (permitted).

1. Marriage is considered fard (obligatory) if a person is so tormented by sexual desire that he/she fears falling into the sin of fornication. Since staying away from fornication is obligatory, and since marriage is the only avenue for legitimate sexual satisfaction, it becomes obligatory for such a person to get married. This is based on the principle in jurisprudence that says: “If an obligatory thing cannot be fulfilled except by fulfilling another, then fulfilling the latter becomes equally obligatory.”

2. If, however, he or she is not so tormented by sexual desire, and, hence, there is no fear of falling into sin, then it is highly recommended to get married if one has the means to do so. By doing so, one is fulfilling one of the great Sunnahs of the Prophet (peace be upon him), our perfect role model.

3. If a person knows for certain that he or she cannot fulfill the duties required in marriage, and there is no fear of his/her falling into sin, then it becomes haram for such a person to get married. Islam forbids us from doing injustice to another person; this would definitely be the case if one were to neglect his/her spousal duties.

4. If a person has no means to marry and is, therefore, incapable of fulfilling his spousal duties, but has a strong desire, it is permitted for him to get married – provided he tries earnestly to seek an honest source of living. Allah has promised to help such a person. We must also add here a further note that the Muslim community has a duty to assist such people until such time that they become self-reliant.

If, however, no such measures are available, and a person finds himself unable to fulfill his spousal duties, he is advised to curb his desires through the discipline of fasting and other acts of sublimation.”