- Bear in mind that your daughter-in-law is a human being with aspirations and feelings. She has made a great sacrifice to come and serve your son for the rest of her life. Treat her like your own daughter. Remember when you were a daughter-in-law. As you desired to be treated, treat her. Remove the jealousy which generally comes into the heart that someone new has come and taken over my son whom I brought up with great pain.
- Give gifts to her. This will create love between you’ll.
- Do not demand control of your son’s money. It is for him to use in an appropriate manner.
- Never compare one’s daughter-in-law with another, or with your daughters. Every person is different and has different abilities. Look at the good in everyone.
- Overlook faults and errors. Your daughter-in-law is still naive. In all likelihood, you made the same errors when you were young.
- If she lives with you, do not expect her to do everything in the house. However, if the kitchen is one, then some ‘ulema, have stated that it will be better if the mother-in-law hands it over completely to her daughter-in-law, if she is happy to accept this responsibility. If not, then rather have turns in the kitchen, because generally problems start in the kitchen. Everyone’s ways and methods are different.
- Think before you speak. What you say to your daughter, you cannot say to your daughter-in-law, since your daughter has natural love for you whereas your daughter-inlaw’s love for you will have to be slowly cultivated. Even if she errs, be careful as to how you correct her. Sometimes, even a wrong word, however innocent it may be, can cause problems. It is a delicate situation.
- Never discuss your one daughter-in-law with the other or discuss them with even your own sisters, daughters or best friends. If a secret cannot stay in your mouth, how do you expect it to remain in someone else’s? Discussing with others is just looking for problems. If you have a problem, speak directly to the one concerned.
- Learn from your mistakes. If you have once said something that created a problem, make sure you never repeat it.
- Be simple. No one is perfect. Do not be unnecessarily fussy about things that are not really a life-or-death situation.
- Be generous in praising their cooking, baking, etc. even though it is not up-to your standards.
- Never drag your daughter-in-law into any disagreement between yourself and your son. If you are upset with your son for any reason, there is no need to pass the message via your daughter-in-law or get upset with her. Speak directly to your son.
By Moulana Abdul Hameed Ishaq, Azaadville
Quran Surah Hujrat
Enquire about things before taking action , take action only if are dead sure about the truth , or else you may cause harm
Surah Hujrat Verse 6.
O believers! If some wicked person brings you any news, inquire thoroughly into its truth (lest) you should cause (undue) harm to a people unknowingly, and later feel regret for what you have done.
When two parties of Muslims fight , reconcile between them
Surah Hujrat Verse 9.
. And if two parties of the Muslims fight, make them reconcile. Then if either of these (parties) commits injustice and aggression against the other, fight against (the party) that is committing aggression till it returns to Allah’s command (of establishing peace). When they revert and submit, make peace between them with equity. And put justice to work. Surely, Allah loves those who do justice.
Surah Hujrat Verse 10.
The truth is that (all) believers are brothers (to one another). So make peace between your two brothers and always fear Allah, so that you may be shown mercy.
Dont make fun of others and avoid ridiculing others
Quran (Sura al-Hujurat, Verse 11)
O believers! Let no community ridicule another community. It is likely that they may be better than those (who ridicule). Nor should women make fun of other women. It is likely that they may be better than those (who make fun). And do not offend or find fault with one another, nor call each other names. Calling someone wicked or indecent after (he embraces) faith is an extremely evil name. And those who do not turn to Allah in repentance, it is they who are the wrongdoers.
Firstly: there follow some of the ahaadeeth narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) which state that Soorat al-Ikhlaas (Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad) is equivalent to one-third of the Quran.
Al-Bukhaari (6643) narrated from Abu Saeed that a man heard another man reciting Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad and repeating it. The next morning he came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and told him about that. The man thought that it was too little, but the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, it is equivalent to one-third of the Quran.”
Muslim (811) narrated from Abul-Dardaa that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Is any one of you unable to recite one-third of the Quran in one night?”
They said, “How could anyone read one-third of the Quran?”
He said, “Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad is equivalent to one-third of the Quran.”
Muslim (812) narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Gather together, for I will recite to you one-third of the Quran.”
So those who could gather together gathered there, then the Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came out and recited Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad, then he went in.
They said to one another, Perhaps there has been some news from heaven on account of which he has gone inside (the house).
Then the Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came out and said, “I told you that I was going to recite to you one-third of the Quran. Verily it is equivalent to one-third of the Quran.”
Secondly: The bounty of Allah is immense, and Allah has bestowed His bounty upon this ummah and has made up for its short life span by giving it more reward for simple deeds. It is strange that with some people, instead of this motivating them to do more good, this makes them apathetic and lazy in doing acts of worship, or they feel that this bounty and reward is strange and farfetched.
With regard to the meaning of the hadeeth:
There is a difference between jaza (reward) and ijza (what is sufficient). What is making the brother confused is that he does not see the difference between them.
Jaza means the reward which Allah gives for obeying Him.
Ijza means what is sufficient and takes the place of something else.
Reciting Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad brings a reward equivalent to reciting one-third of the Quran, but it does not take the place of reading one-third of the Quran.
If a person vows – for example – to read one-third of the Quran, it is not sufficient for him to read Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad, because it is equivalent to one-third of the Quran in reward, but not in terms of being sufficient or taking the place of reading one-third of the Quran.
The same may be said of reciting it three times. If a person recites it three times in his prayer, that does not mean that he does not have to recite al-Faatihah, even though he will be given the reward of reciting the whole Quran.
A similar example is the reward given by the Lawgiver to one who offers a single prayer in the Sanctuary of Makkah, and that he will have the reward of one hundred thousand prayers. Does anyone take this divine bounty to means that he does not have to pray for decades because he offered a single prayer in the Haram that is equivalent to one hundred thousand prayers?
Rather this has to do with reward; as for what is sufficient, that is another matter altogether.
Rewards are of different types, just as wealth is of different types, such as food, drink, clothing, houses, money and so on. If a man possesses one type of wealth, to the value of one thousand dinars, that does not mean that he can do without the other types. Rather if he has wealth in the form of food, he also needs clothing and a place to live, etc.
Similarly if it is a type other than money, he still needs other things. If he has nothing but money, he will need all kinds of wealth that are usually needed.
And he said:
The knowledge that is to be gained by reading the rest of the Quran cannot be gained by reciting this soorah only. So whoever reads the whole Quran is better than one who simply recites this soorah three times in the sense that he earns different kinds of reward, even though the one who recites Qul Huwa Allahu Ahad earns a reward equivalent to that reward, but it is of one type and does not include all the types that a person needs. This is like a man who has three thousand dinars and another who has food, clothing, accommodation and money equivalent to three thousand dinars. The latter has that which will benefit him in all his affairs, whereas the former needs what the latter has, even though what he has is equivalent in value.
Similarly, if he has the finest food, equivalent to three thousand dinars in value, he still needs clothing and accommodation, and weapons and tools that will ward off harm from him, and the like, which cannot be done with food alone.
Majmoo al-Fataawa, 17/137-139
SAHIH MUSLIM : Book 30 , Chapter 21 : THE FRAGRANCE OF THE SACRED BODY OF ALLAH’S APOSTLE (MAY PEACE BE UPON HIM) AND ITS AGILITY AND SOFTNESS AND THE BLESSINGS OF ITS TOUCH
Jabir b. Samura reported: I prayed along with Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) the first prayer. He then went to his family and I also went along with him when he met some children (on the way). He began to pat the cheeks of each one of them. He also patted my cheek and I experienced a coolness or a fragrance of his hand as if it had been brought out from the scent bag of a perfumer.
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5758:
Anas reported: I never smelt ambergris or musk as fragrant as the fragrance of the body of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and I never touched brocade or silk and found it as soft as the body of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him).
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5759:
Anas reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) had a very fair complexion and (the drops) of his perspiration shone like pearls, and when he walked he walked inclining forward, and I never touched brocade and silk (and found it) as soft as the softness of the palm of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and I never smelt musk or ambergris and found its fragrance as sweet as the fragrance of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him).
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5760:
Anas b. Malik reported that Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) used to come to our house and there was perspiration upon his body. My mother brought a bottle and began to pour the sweat in that. When Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) got up he said: Umm Sulaini, what is this that you are doing? Thereupon she said: That is your sweat which we mix in our perfume and it becomes the most fragrant perfume.
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5761:
Anas b. Malik reported that Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) came to the house of Umm Sulaim and slept in her bed while she was away from her house. On the other day too he slept in her bed. She came and it was said to her: It is Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) who is having siesta in your house, lying in your bed. She came and found him sweating and his sweat falling on the leather cloth spread on her bed. She opened her scent-bag and began to fill the bottles with it. Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) was startled and woke up and said: Umm Sulaim, what are you doing? She said: Allah’s Messenger, we seek blessings for our children through it. Thereupon he said: You have done something right.
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5762:
Umm Sulaim reported that Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) visited her house and (took rest) and she spread a piece of cloth for him and he had had a siesta on it. And he sweated profusely and she collected his sweat and put it in a perfume and in bottles. Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: Umm Sulaim, what is this? She said: It is your sweat, which I put in my perfume. Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) sweated in cold weather when revelation descended upon him.
Sahih Muslim Book 30, Number 5763:
[ALLAH’S Quran – 33:35 ] “For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.”
The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said:
[Bukhari – Book #76, Hadith #486] “Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said ALLAH will give shade to seven (types of people) under His Shade (on the Day of Resurrection). (one of them will be) a person who remembers ALLAH and his eyes are then flooded with tears.”
[Bukhari – Book #93, Hadith #502] “Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “ALLAH says: ‘I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.”