Making The First Approach By Lady Khadija
When Lady Khadijah received Maysarah’s report of how Muhammad (peace be upon him) conducted her business on the trip to Syria, she realized that she discovered the ideal person to entrust with her business. She was a wealthy widow, with two young children from two marriages. Since business in Makkah was largely an international affairs, depending on the two annual trips, to Syria in summer and Yemen in winter, she had to rely on agents who traveled with the trade caravans on her behalf. Unless her agent was a model of honesty, this could be a risky adventure. Maysarah, however, had much to tell her about Muhammad’s honesty and affable manners that earned him the good will of his fellow travelers and facilitated good deals in both selling and buying. Moreover, Muhammad (peace be upon him) ensured that she made handsome profit.
Her thoughts began to concentrate on how to develop this relationship. Belonging to a very distinguished family in her clan, a pretty and wealthy woman like Khadijah had no shortage of suitors. She realized, however, that many of her suitors were attracted by her wealth. Now that she has had this business experience with Muhammad, a young man of refined manners and the noblest descent, she thought that she must do something to ensure the best of this association. The more she thought over the matter, one idea became more and more attractive to her: marriage.
We must not imagine that this thought was based only on brief encounters before and after the trip undertaken by Muhammad on Khadijah’s behalf. She could not have entrusted him with her business trip without having thoroughly interviewed him. There must have been several meetings between them before the trip, so that he would have a detailed brief of his mission. On his return, they must have had several meetings to settle accounts. Thus Khadijah made her mind on the basis of a good knowledge of the man she wanted to marry.
Khadijah realized that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was in no position to make the first move. He had no money of his own, apart from what she paid him for his agency. As such, he was unlikely to think of marriage for sometime to come. It was up to her to bring about such a marriage if she really wanted it. In the Arabian society, however, it was necessary for her to assign the task of approaching Muhammad to a tactful person.
Nufaysah bint Munyah, a close friend of Khadijah met Muhammad and said to him: “Muhammad, what is keeping you from getting married?” He answered: “I do not have enough to meet the expenses of marriage.” She said: “What if you are not called upon to meet such expenses? What would you say to a woman of beauty, wealth and position who is willing to marry you? Would you marry her?” He said: “Who is that woman?’ She answered: ‘Khadijah.” He asked: “Who can arrange such a marriage for me?” She said: “Leave that to me.” His response was: “I will do it, willingly.”
By: Adil Salahi