1. Dress up well for one’s wife:
Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men looked good to please our wives.Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasullullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) – would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use likeable names for your wife:
Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved.Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Recognize the good & focus on that:
Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. Be silent on the wrongs:
If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) – used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives – radi Allahu ‘anhum. It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife:
Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)- would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her:
Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Make her happy:
Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your Life.
8. Comfort her:
Don’t be-little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah – radi Allahu ‘anha – was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous:
Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would race his wife Aisha -radi Allahu ‘anha – in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Try to be the Best:
Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah – azza wa jall – to make your marriage successful.
And Allah ta’ala knows best !!
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) said, “A thankful tongue, a soft-hearted wife is a friend of yours in religion.” These are the qualities that Islam desires in a woman who shall nurture the future generations of mankind towards an Islamic society.
Sociologists all over the world are laying more and more stress on the importance of family life, as opposed to what goes on in the West, where 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce, where 60% of divorced women are prone to suicide, and almost every separated family has a history of a delinquent child.
As a maintainer of woman, the man has been deemed responsible for managing the day-to-day affairs outside the house, striving to earn, a livelihood. Woman has been given complete charge of the house, responsible for rearing the children and managing the home. This division of management is not in any way derogatory to the honor of woman; she is not the man’s slave, but his equal. In all its wisdom, Islam has allotted different sets of duties to men and women because of their different physical and mental attributes. Man is physically better suited to rough it out in the harsh world, and, due to her physical and emotional make up, woman is more suitable to manage the house.
A woman is more self-sufficient in household affairs and better shoulders the responsibility of rearing the children. This arrangement guarantees the continuation and the formation of a society complementing religion. This is a great trial and test for man and woman. Very rarely do we find a family like that of Imam Ali (A.S.), which contains a Fatima Zahra (S.A.), Hassan (A.S.), Hussain (A.S.), Zainab (S.A.) and Kulsum (S.A.).
The Holy Qur’an states: “They (wives) are an apparel for you, and you are an apparel for them.” (2:187)
What the Qur’an is stating is clear – besides covering the body, apparel protects the body from the vagaries of nature, enhancing one’s personal beauty. Man and wife should complement each other, and as Imam Ali (A.S.) has said, “Like a dress, a worthy wife will conceal one’s fault.”
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says: “The Muslim man after Islam, didn’t achieve any extra advantage over his wife; a wife who when her husband looks upon her feels cheerful, follows her husband’s instructions and in his absence, protects her chastity and her husband’s property.” The family has always been one of the most valuable institutions of the society. In the foundation of social life, the family has been the focal point, putting aside the responsibilities related to the giving birth to and rearing of children which results in the continuation and perpetuity of mankind. Other responsibilities for example, the training and endorsing of societal awareness of an individual are also included. Family is a time-tested system which gives the individual a sense of belonging and being. This family system belongs to that group of systems, which have remained existent throughout history, and there are two main reasons for this:
1) The family environment secures the basic needs of a society and shoulders the responsibility of making individuals socially aware
2) The family is a strong and influential center, which brings about the feeling of closeness and emotional support in individuals. The family is also a medium, which plays an important role in the transfer of values, customs, and cultural heritage of the society.
Family disorders have many aspects, which may eventually lead to separation or divorce. One of the basic reasons for divorce is unwarranted expectations, which the two parties have of one another. These expectations are related to the status of the two parties ( i.e. husband and wife) in the society, sexual relations, physical health, financial security and the role that both the man and woman plays in the marriage.
At the same time, it should be mentioned here that the above expectations may be very influential in the strengthening of the family foundation. For example, in the present society, it can be seen that before marriage the couple believes that as long as their love for one another doesn’t decrease, nothing can break the bond that exists between them. But after the marriage, they quickly come to the realization that the love that was abundant in their marriage, has lost some of its luster, or disappeared completely and in order to solve their family problems, they are forced to use more practical methods.
In the same way, children whose parents are not happy in their marriages but remain living together, become affected by the family disputes, which are a result of the relationship of the parents
THE Prophet (peace be upon him) gave many recommendations concerning women, to the extent that he described the man who treats his wife well as being one of the best and among the elite of his Ummah:
“The believer who has the most perfect faith is the one whose behavior is best, and the best of you are the ones who are best to their women-folk.”
Some women came to the family of the Prophet (peace be upon him) complaining about their husbands. So the Prophet (peace be upon him) announced to the men:
“Many women have visited the family of Muhammad, complaining about their husbands. Verily those are not the best among you.”
True Islam is preeminent in its fairness and respect towards women, and in its recommendation to husbands to treat their wives well even if they dislike them. This is something which women have never enjoyed throughout history, except in this religion. Allah says in the Qur’an:
“…live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Qur’an, 4:19)
This verse touches the heart of every true Muslim, so that his anger is soothed and his dislike towards his wife is lessened. In this way Islam protects the sacred marriage bond from being exposed to the danger of turbulent emotions and the folly of changing moods.
When a man came to ‘Umar Bin Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) and told him that he wanted to divorce his wife because he disliked her, ‘Umar said, “Woe to you! Are families only built on love? Where is your consideration and care?”
The marriage bond in Islam is of greater importance than emotional whims and rises above the pressures of wild natural passion. The true Muslim possesses enough chivalry, nobility, courtesy, perseverance, generosity and strength of character to make him rise above any dislike for his wife in his dealings with her. Far be it from him to be guided by only mindless animal instincts or for making a profit!
The true Muslim doesn’t but obey his Lord; so he treats his wife well even if he dislikes her, because he understands the injunctions of his All-Wise Lord about matters that are hidden from him, and they are far too many. A man may dislike something and try to distance himself from it, when in fact it is full of goodness and blessing. The true Muslim knows how to love and how to hate. Love is not blind for him, neither does he go to extremes of dislike and hatred, but in either case his attitude is moderate and balanced.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) explained that even if a husband dislikes his believing Muslim wife, she will still have some favorable characteristics which will please him, so he should not ignore the good side of her character and focus only on the negative aspects:
“No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, there will be others that would please him.” (Muslim)
– Published by International Islamic Publishing House, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
10. Use your `Fitnah’ to win the heart of your husband
All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah – Azza wa Jal – has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.
9. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting
Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.
8. Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them
The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to `enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.
7. Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.
From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses – as described in the Qur’an. As a wife, continue to use the jewelry that you have and the pretty dresses for your husband.
6. Joke and play games with your husband.
A mans secret: they seek women who are lighthearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.
5. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does. Then thank him again.
This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.
4. An argument is a fire in the house. Extinguish it with a simple `I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault.
When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”
3. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.
Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.
2. Listen and Obey!
Obeying your husband is Fard! Your husband is the Ameer of the household. Give him that right and respect.
1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.
All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta’ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on – by the Mercy of Allah ta’ala – into Jannah.
And Allah knows best
To prevent family disorders, married men and women need to keep certain points in mind and practice them in their lives, as below:
1) One of the basic points for successful family life is self-knowledge. Every man and woman has certain capabilities and limitations, which they need to discover within themselves. The husband and wife, who are clearly aware of their good and bad points and the reality of their personalities, will have fewer disputes in their family lives. Then it is necessary that the husband and wife accept one another and love one another with all his/her faults and finer points.
2) The husband and wife should respect one another and should not do anything to cause disrespect or hate in the other party. Married couples should hold themselves and their spouses in high regard and should be aware that if they want or like their spouses to be or act according to their own opinions, it is only going to be a waste of time and effort. People are all different. Married couples should accept one another as they are, and not try to compare one another to others, because this only inflicts psychological injury.
3) Married couples should foster their talents. Couples can become acquainted with their particular talents in various fields, for example, sports, physical expertise, interest in study, and other fields. The more that couples study and read about different topics, on a daily basis, the more valuable their lives will become.
4) Couples need to form close relationships with others. The reason for many family disputes lies in separation and seclusion from others. A husband and wife, who like others are part of the society, need the support, calm and assurance that come from others – ( e.g., family members, friends, neighbors, etc.). For this reason it is necessary to have close, active affectionate and at the same time healthy and well-rooted relationships with others in order to prevent family disputes.