Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender. Here, from one sister to another, is a Muslim girl’s guide for how to deal with guys.
· No Touching: Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram person of the opposite gender (Mahram is your dad, brother, father-in-law, husband, grandfather, and your parents’ siblings). That means no patting on the back, no handshaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all that.
· No Flirting: Not even with Muslims. Flirting means that you’re saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. There’s no set criterion for what flirting is, but every girl knows what it is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to be better than the kind of women who share their beauty with all men around them and who think they are worthy only if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise man once said, “Don’t start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass.” If you don’t want a guy’s advances, then don’t do anything to earn them. You really only want to marry one, good guy and spend the rest of your life with him. Chances are he won’t be the same dork you fluttered your eyelashes at in high school.
· No Boyfriends: As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is Haraam because it leads to Zina – an illegal sexual relationship. Allah expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against that rule, the society degenerates, people use and abuse each other, diseases spread and the sacredness of marriage as an institution is destroyed. It’s not right to date to get to know each other (that includes talking on the phone). In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren’t allowed to be alone together.
The easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up falling in love with some guy before you’re ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course, if you’re studying in a mixed school, you will have to interact with boys, but that doesn’t mean you should be best buds with them. Most relationships begin with friendships. Chances are you’re not ready for marriage and your parents won’t let you get married. Moreover, you’re still in school and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from needless temptation.
When you have to talk to boys in school, it’s best to maintain a distance. That means that you don’t confide in them and you don’t unnecessarily engage in needless conversations. Don’t joke around and never flirt. Yeah, it may be a little hard, but we’re talking about your hereafter here. There are plenty of great girls all around who can be your friends and if you really think only a man will understand your problem, then talk to your brother, your father, or an uncle.
· Be Disaffected: That means that nothing a boy says will hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an airplane looking down at the scenery below. You’re not much interested in what’s going down there, because though it looks really nice, you’ll have to jump off the plane to really check it out. Likewise, the guy may look really nice, but to get him, you have to jump off the plane, i.e., commit spiritual suicide. Though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground and go “splat” on the Day of Judgment, or even sooner maybe. It’s not worth the sin.
Remember that Allah is watching you always! Isn’t it being ungrateful to Allah’s favors? How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to (like ogle at boys)? How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it!
– Ambreen Juvale
The Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam is the Distributor(Qasim) for the Ummah and the Atta is from Allah.
Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5317:
Jabir b. ‘Abdullah reported that a child was born to one of the persons amongst us and he decided to give him the name of Muhammad We said: We will not allow you to give the name after the name of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) until you ask him (the Holy Prophet). So he (that person) came and said (to the Holy Prophet): A child was born in my house and I wanted to give him the name (of Muhammad) after the name of Allah’s Messenger, whereas my people did not allow me that I should name him after that (sacred) name until I have asked Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) in this connection, whereupon he said: Give him the name after my name but do not call him by my kunya, for I have been sent as a Qasim as I distribute amongst you.
Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5317:
Some people argue that here Qasim only means the distribution of Zakat and spoils of the war and it is only limited to that, but in this hadith, the Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam said that he was sent as a Qasim, which clearly signifies that purpose of this attribute “Qasim” is not just distribution of zakat and spoils of war, but Allah’s blessing are doled out to us through the Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam, He is the door from which we get Allah’s blessings, whether it be in this world or the next.
The distribution of Shafaath is also through him on the day of judgment, Allah will give Shafaath to the Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam and it is distributed to all by him
To clarify this point I am extracting the incident when Abu Bakr Siddique anhu radi Allahu taala gave his entire wealth to the Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, The Holy Prophet Muhammed Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam had already refused another Sahabi’s wealth when he gave everything because one must also keep wealth to take care of himself and his family and it is a Muslims fard, but he only accepted Siddique E Akbar’s sacrifice because of the level of Imaan of Siddique E Akbar, who said I have left Allah and his Rasool in my home.
I have left the source (Allah) and the means (the Holy Prophet) of the distribution of wealth in my home.
This is described by Allama Sir Syed Muhammed Iqbaal
The poem from Allama Iqbal is as follows
“To the companions, one day the Holy Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam) appealed, O You of wealth, give in the path of righteousness,
Hearing the command Umar(radiallahu taala anhu) rose with immense desire,
for that day several thousand dirhams he did acquire
he thought to himself compared to Siddique(radiallahu taala anhu) today, my steed will surely lead the way
To the trusted Prophet(Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam) His Riches he did give
, an act of selflessness for the dependent, he took the initiative
The Master of the World (Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam) Enquired,
O Umar (radiallahu taal anhu) For whom the passion for the truth is the solace of the heart
For your own family, what did you leave? , What is in their right, the kinsmen must receive
Umar(radiallahu taal anhu) replied, Half the riches to the women and children would suffice,
The rest assigned to the Ummah in sacrifice,
By then the friend of Apostleship arrives
From Whom Love and affection derives
With his sincere nature, he brings forth,
All that in the worlds eye has worth
The Prophet said the concern for the family you must not dismiss
Then replied the secret keeper of love and bliss
From you do the eyes of the moon and the stars get their light
It is your being that is the means for the distribution of livelihood
The Candle is sufficient for the Moth
The Flower to the nightingale,
for Siddique(radiallahu taala anhu) The Messenger of Allah is Sufficient
Prophethood in Islam has a special status and significance. According to Islam, Allah created man for a noble purpose: to worship Him and lead a virtuous life based on His teachings and guidance. How would man know the role and purpose of his existence unless he received clear and practical instructions of what Allah wants him to do? Here comes the need for prophethood. Thus Allah had chosen from every nation a prophet or more to convey His Message to people. One might ask: How were the prophets chosen and who were entitled to this great honor? Prophethood is Allah’s blessing and favor that He may bestow on whom He wills. However, from surveying the various messengers throughout history, three features of a prophet may be recognized:
1 . He is the best in his community morally and intellectually. This is necessary because a prophet’s life serves as a model for his followers. His personality should attract people to accept his message rather than drive them away by his imperfect character. After receiving the message he is infallible.
2. He is supported by miracles to prove that he is not an impostor. Those miracles are granted by the power and permission of God and are usually in the field in which his people excel and are recognized as superiors. We might illustrate this by quoting the major miracles of the three prophets of the major world religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Moses’ contemporaries excelled in magic. So his major miracle was to defeat the best magicians of Egypt of his days. Jesus’ contemporaries were recognized as skillful physicians. Therefore, his miracles were to raise the dead and cure incurable diseases. The Arabs, the contemporaries of the Prophet Muhammad, were known for their eloquence and magnificent poetry. So Prophet Muhammad’s major miracle was the Qur’an, the equivalent of which the whole legion of Arab poets and orators could not produce despite the repeated challenge from the Qur’an itself.
Again Muhammad’s miracle has something special about it. All previous miracles were limited by time and place, i.e., they were shown to specific people at a specific time. Not so the miracle of Muhammad, the Qur’an. It is a universal and everlasting miracle.
Previous generations witnessed it and future generations will witness its miraculous nature in terms of its style, content, and spiritual upliftment. These still can be tested and will thereby prove the divine origin of the Qur’an.
3. Every prophet states clearly that what he receives is not of his own but from God for the well-being of mankind. He also confirms what was revealed before him and what may be revealed after him.
A prophet does this to show that he is simply conveying the message which is entrusted to him by the One True God of all people of all ages. So the message is one in essence and for the same purpose.
Therefore, it should not deviate from what was revealed before him or what might come after him. Prophets are necessary for conveying God’s instructions and guidance to mankind. We have no way of knowing why we were created. What will happen to us after death? Is there any life after death? Are we accountable for our actions? In other words, is there any reward or punishment for our deeds in this life? These and so many other questions about God, angels, paradise, hell, etc. cannot be answered without revelation from the Creator and All-Knower of the unseen.
Those answers must be authentic and must be brought by individuals whom we trust and respect.
That is why messengers are the select of their societies in terms of moral conduct and intellectual ability.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must either speak good or remain silent.”[Muslim].
Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH): “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure. ”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Sahl bin Sa`d (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Whosoever gives me a guarantee to safeguard what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I shall guarantee him Jannah. ”[Al-Bukhari].
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying, “A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about its being good or not) and, as a result of this, he will fall down into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “A man utters a word pleasing to Allah without considering it of any significance for which Allah exalts his ranks (in Jannah); another one speaks a word displeasing to Allah without considering it of any importance, and for this reason, he will sink down into Hell. ”[Al-Bukhari].
Abu ‘Abdur-Rahman Bilal bin Al-Harith Al-Muzani (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “A man speaks a good word without knowing its worth, Allah records for him His Good Pleasure till the day he will meet Him; and a man utters an evil word without realizing its importance, Allah records for him His displeasure till the day he will meet Him. ”[Imam Malik and At-Tirmidhi].
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “He whom Allah saves from the evil of that which is between his jaws and the evil of that which is between his legs will enter Jannah.”[At-Tirmidhi] .
‘Uqbah bin `Amir (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), “How can salvation be achieved?” He replied, “Control your tongue, keep to your house, and weep over your sins.”[At-Tirmidhi] .
Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: `Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of what you do) if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked. ”'[At-Tirmidhi].
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith
Hadith 2.785 Narrated by: Abdullah bin Umar
Allah’s Apostle said, “O Allah! Be merciful to those who have their head shaved [after performing UMRA) .” The people said, “O Allah’s Apostle! And (invoke Allah for) those who get their hair cut short.” The Prophet said, “O Allah! Be merciful to those who have their head shaved.” The people said, “O Allah’s Apostle! And those who get their hair cut short.” The Prophet said (the third time), “And to those who get their hair cut short.” Nafi’ said that the Prophet had said once or twice, “O Allah! Be merciful to those who get their head shaved,” and on the fourth time he added, “And to those who have their hair cut short.”
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith
Hadith 2.786 Narrated by Abu Huraira
Allah’s Apostle said, “O Allah! Forgive those who get their heads shaved.” The people asked. “Also those who get their hair cut short?” The Prophet said, “O Allah! Forgive those who have their heads shaved.” The people said, “Also those who get their hair cut short?” The Prophet (invoke Allah for those who have their heads shaved and) at the third time said, “also (forgive) those who get their hair cut short.”