September 2022
A Child In Difficult Circumstances
Special circumstances surrounded the childhood of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and these undoubtedly had a bearing on his character. His parents’ marriage lasted only a brief period. His father, Abdullah, was the youngest of Abd Al-Muttalib’s 10 sons. He was to be sacrificed in fulfillment of a pledge Abd Al-Muttalib had made long before his birth. However, he was ransomed for an offering of 100 camels. When this was done, he got married, but stayed only a brief period with his wife, Aminah, before joining a trade trip to Syria. On the way back he died.
Aminah herself died when Muhammad (peace be upon him) was six years of age, and Abd Al-Muttalib followed her two years later. Thus, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was deprived of both parents and grandfather by the time he was eight years old. Thus he experienced being an orphan, cared for by relatives who were kind, particularly his uncle Abu Talib who treated him as his own son.
What all this meant was that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was a young boy of noble descent in a society that attached much importance to family, tribal lineage, and loyalty. However, he was of limited means. As we see later in his life, this was the spur for him to endeavor to be independent at an early age. He was nevertheless brought up by kind people: his wet nurse, mother, grandfather, as well as his uncle Abu Talib and his wife Fatimah. He also experienced life in the desert when he was with his wet nurse. Most hard was the loss of his mother when he was traveling with her in the desert. Then as a teenager, he worked as a shepherd, tending sheep.
Then as a young man, he traveled with a trade caravan to Syria, working as an agent for his future wife, Khadijah. We learn that he was exemplary in his attending to his work, faithful to his trust, with a keen eye to ensure that his mission was profitable for his employer, and useful to him. Thus he combined noble descent with a good upbringing, a serious approach to life with honesty and faithfulness to trust, and varied life experience with high moral values. We also learn that he never engaged in loose pleasures, as young men often do in all types of society.
We have various reports speaking of events that accompanied his birth, which people read as indicating his future role as God’s messenger. These reports cannot be confirmed. We do not, however, attach much importance to them because they were not clear enough to those who might have witnessed them so as to understand their significance. It is true that Muhammad’s birth signaled the end of confused ideas about God and the establishment of the true faith that would remain available to mankind for the rest of human life. Yet this was not indicated by some miraculous events accompanying his birth. It was made clear in the divine revelations he was to receive forty years later when the angel Gabriel told him that it was God’s choice to be His last messenger to mankind.
When we look at the situation of mankind at the time, we recognize that the world was in great need of a message from God to set its life on the right course. And when we look at Muhammad’s early years, we realize that his difficult childhood was part of his preparation for his future role. He was the one most suited to deliver God’s message, and his preparation for that task was a continuous process that was soon to yield its fruits.
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Sulah-e-Hudaibiya Ka Mukhtasar Waqia
Love And Hate Only For The Sake Of Allah
The following is Imaam Sufyaan’s (R) letter…(Excellent)
My brother, use the time you have between dawn and sunrise to contemplate the previous day!
Remain steadfast on the good deeds you performed the previous day, and abandon anything you did out of disobedience to Allah! (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala). Do not repeat the same mistakes, for you do not know whether or not you will live for the rest of your day! As long as you are alive, the option of repentance is available to you…! but refraining from sinning is easier for you than trying to perform sincere repentance. Sincere repentance involves regret and a firm resolve never to repeat the same sin again…
Wherever you are, fear Allah… ! If you perpetrated a sin in secret… then repent to Allah in secret. And if you perpetrated a sin out in the open, then repent to Allah out in the open. Do not let one sin lead to another(so that they pile up onto one another). Cry frequently and as much as you are able to, and do not laugh (frequently), for you were not created without purpose.
Join ties with and be kind to your family, your relatives, your neighbors, and your brothers. When you intend to show mercy, show mercy to the poor, orphans, and to the weak… If you intend to give charity… or to perform a good deed, then do it right away…! before the shaytan (devil) positions himself between you and the execution of what you intended to do.
Act always with a good intention…! Eat with a good intention and Drink with a good intention. Do not be miserly, for miserliness corrupts a person’s religion. Do not promise someone something and refrain from fulfilling your promise, for, in that case, the love you will have gained through your promise will be replaced by hate. Do not feel rancor in your heart towards your Muslim brother… ! for Allah does not accept repentance from a person if there is rancor and malice between him and his Muslim brother. Do not be angry, for anger is like a shaver… just as a shaver shaves off hair, anger shaves off good deeds (unless one becomes angry for the sake of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aala).
Make it a practice to extend greetings of peace to every Muslim, for if you do so, hatred, deception, and rancor will all be purged from your heart. Shake hands with your Muslim brothers and you will, as a result, become loved by the people…!
Remain in a constant state of purity (by performing ablution whenever you pass wind or empty your bowels) and, as a result, you will be loved by the Al-Hafazah (the angels who record your deeds).
Love only for the sake of Allah, and Hate only for the sake of Allah: If you do not possess these two qualities, it means that you have on you the mark of a hypocrite {!}
Abridged from:-The Biography of Sufyaan ath-Thauree (Rahimahullaah), p#175-176
Namaz Mein Saf Kay Ahkam
What Is Allah’s Right On Mankind?
On the authority of Mu’aadh bin Jabal, a companion of the Prophet Muhammed who said: “I was riding with the Prophet, sitting behind him, when he said to me, “O Mu’aadh! Do you know what is Allah’s right over His slaves, and what is the slave’s right over Allah?”. I said, “Allah and His Messenger know Best”. He said, “The Right of Allah over the slaves is that they should worship Him alone [1] and not associate anything with Him [2], while the right of the slaves over Allah is that He will not punish (on the Day of Judgment) whoever does not associate with Him.” [Collected by al-Bukhari, Muslim, at-Tirmidhi, Ahmed & Ibn Majah]
The Creation Of Mankind
Glorified be Allah, who created man (Adam) and caused one of the noble souls (Ruh) to enter him [Soorah al-Hijr (15):29] and made mankind into nations and tribes, that they may know one another. Verily the most honorable of them in the Sight Allah is the believer who has at-Taqwa (i.e. the Qualities of piety, righteousness, and the fear of Allah; that keeps him away from all kinds of sin and evil deeds) [Soorah al-Hujarat (49):13].
The Recognition Of Allah
The question would arise: … How can all the people around the world be expected to believe in the One True God, given their varying backgrounds, societies, and cultures?
For people to be held responsible for worshipping the One True God, they all need to have access to knowledge of Him.
The Qur’an teaches us that all human beings have the recognition of Allah imprinted on their souls as part of their very nature with which they are created. This natural in-born inclination to worship Allah alone is called in Arabic as the `Fitrah’. If the child was justified alone, it would grow up aware of Allah in His Unity, but all children are affected by the pressure of their environment, whether directly or indirectly The Prophet Muhammed reported that Allah
said: “I created man in the right religion, but the devils (Shaitaan ) made him go astray.” [Reported in Sahih Muslim, vol.4, p.1488, no.6853]
The Prophet also said: “Every child is born in the state of Fitrah (i.e. a Muslim), then his parents make him a Jew, Christian or a Zoroastrian.” [Reported in Sahih al-Bukhari, vol.8, no.597 and Muslim, vol.4, no.6423]
The religion the child follows is one of custom and upbringing and Allah does not hold it to account or punish it for this religion. But when the child matures in youth and clear proofs of the falsehood of man-made religions are brought to it, the adult must now follow the religion of knowledge and reason. The Shaytaan (devils) try to make
evil pleasing to him and encourage him to stray away from the straight path. The person must now live in the midst of a struggle between his Fitrah and his lower desires in order to find the right path. If he chooses his Fitrah, Allah will help him overcome his desires even though he may have to go through a lot of trials and struggles, as Allah says: “Surely We (Allah) will test you with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, and life and fruits of your work, so give glad tidings to those who are patient.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 155]
Because of all the powerful forces fighting against the Fitrah, Allah chose certain righteous men and revealed to them clearly the right path. These men whom we call Prophets were sent to help our fitrah defeat its enemies, and Allah says: “Verily We (Allah) have sent every nation a messenger saying `Worship Allah alone and avoid the Taghoot (false gods)” [Soorah al-Nahl (16): 36]
All the truth and good practices today came from the teachings of the past Prophets.
Born Muslims
Those who are fortunate enough to have been born in Muslim families must be aware that all such `Muslims’ are not automatically guaranteed paradise, because the Prophet warned that a large portion of Muslims will stray away from the teachings of Islam; and the Sunnah would be replaced by innovations (Bidah), as mentioned in the following Hadeeths:-
Hadeeth 1: “I have been given the Qur’an and it’s equal (the Sunnah) with it.” [Reported by Abu-Dawood (Eng. translation), vol.3, no.4587, at-Tirmidhi, al-Haakim & Ahmed]
Let me not find any of you, while resting on his couch, that order of mine is mentioned in front of him, either a command of mine or a prohibition, he says: `I do not know! Whatever we find in the Book of Allah (the Qur’an) we follow (otherwise we do not)”. [Reported by Abu Dawood (Eng. translation),vol.3, no.4588, at- Tirmidhi, ibn Majah, Ahmed]
Hadeeth 2: “You will follow the practices of your predecessors, inch by inch and yard by yard; so that if they were to enter a lizard’s hole, you would also follow them.” When the Prophet was asked if he meant the Jews and Christians, he replied “If not them, who else?” [Reported in Sahih al-Bukhari, vol.9, no.422 & Sahih Muslim, vol.4, no.6448]
Hadeeth 3: “The Last Hour will not come until some groups of my nation attach themselves to the polytheists and some of my people worship idols.” [Reported by Abu Dawood (Eng. translation), vol 3, no.4239; Ibn Majah and at-Tirmidhi]
Hadeeth 4: “The Last Hour will not come until women from the daws tribe wiggle their buttocks (as they ircumambulate) around the temple of the idol al-Khalasha.” [Reported by al-Bukhari, vol.9, no.232 & Muslim, vol.4, no.6944]
Hadeeth 5: “There will be among my followers those who will make allowable (Halal) fornication and adultery, the wearing of Silk (for men), taking intoxicants and musical instruments (Ma’aazif)….Allah will destroy them during the night and let the mountain fall on them.” [Collected in al-Bukhari, vol.7, no.494 (b)]
All those mentioned in the Hadeeths above will have Muslim names and will consider themselves Muslims, but it will be of no benefit to them on the Day of Judgment. This is because ……….
They ignored the teachings of the Last Messenger Muhammed (sallallahu alaihe wa-sallam) and altered the Religion according to their convenience. Have you not seen the one who takes his desires as his god? [Soorah al-Furqan (25): 43]
“O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger and render not vain your deeds.” [Soorah Muhammed (47): 33]
“Say (O Muhammed to mankind): if you (really love Allah then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive your sins.” [Soorah al-Imran (3): 31]
They seek help in other than Allah “Most of them claim to believe in Allah but they really commit Shirk.” [Soorah Yusuf (12): 106]
and: “And your Lord says: `Call on Me, I will answer your prayers.” [Soorah Ghafir (40): 60]
“When my slaves ask you (O Muhammed) about me tell them `Verily I am close, I listen to the prayer of everyone who calls on me.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 186]
“And invoke not besides Allah, any that neither can profit you nor harm you, but if you do so you shall certainly be one of the disbelievers.” [Soorah Hud (11): 106]
“Those on whom you call besides Allah are only slaves (mortals) like yourselves.” [Soorah al-A’raaf (7): 194]
Some Muslims have turned the Qur’an into a good luck charm which they hang on chains around their necks, in their cars, or have placed them in beautifully decorated cases to be kept in the house along with the other pieces of furniture; while our Prophet Muhammed said that the purpose of the Qur’an is to …… “Read the Qur’an and Apply it.” [Musnad Ahmed ibn Hambal]
“Verily this Qur’an guides to that which is most just and right and gives glad tidings to the Believers, who do deeds of righteousness, and they shall have a great reward.” [Soorah al-Israa’ (17): 9]
But alas, some so-called Muslims will even refuse guidance from the Qur’an: “And the Messenger (Muhammed) will say `O my Lord! Verily my people deserted this Qur’an (by neither listening to it nor acting according to its Laws).” Soorah al-Furqan (25): 30]
Remember You Pledge To Allah
Let us give a thought as to whether we are simply Muslims by chance or Muslims by choice. Is Islam what our parents, tribe or country did (or does), or is it what the Qur’an teaches and what the Prophet Muhammed and his Companions (May Allah be pleased with them all) did.
In the seventh chapter of the Qur’an-Soorah al-Araaf, Allah explains that when He created Adam, He caused all of Adam’s descendants to come into existence and He took a pledge from them…….. `Am I not your Lord?, to which they all replied `Yes, we testify to it.” [Soorah al-A’raaf (7): 172]
Allah then explained why He had all of mankind bear witness that He is the Creator and the Only True God, worthy of worship; “That was in case you (mankind) should say on the Day of Resurrection, we were unaware of all this.” [Soorah al-A’raaf (7): 172]
“It was also in case you should say, `Certainly it was our ancestors who made partners (with Allah) and we are only their descendants; will you then destroy us for what those liars did.” [Soorah al- A’raaf (7): 173]
Therefore the pledge with Allah can only be fulfilled by a Muslim by choice and by the practical application of the principles of Islam in our lives.
“Say truly, my prayer, my sacrifice, my life, and my death are all for Allah, the Lord of the worlds.” [Soorah al-An’aam (6): 162]
Conclusion
May Allah, the Merciful keep us on the right path to which He has guided us and bestows on us His blessings and mercy, for indeed whoever Allah guides……no one can misguide. “None has the right to be worshipped but you, O Allah. Truly I have been on the wrong-doers.” [Soorah al-Anbiyaa (21): 87]
May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be on the Prophet Muhammed, his Family, his Companions, and on all those who follow the path of guidance until the Last Day
Foot Notes
[1] i.e. to establish Tawheed…” the belief that Allah is One, without partner or associate in His Dominion and Actions; without similitude in His Essence and Attributes (Asmaa’ was-Sifaat) and without rival in His divinity and in worship.” -There is none equal or comparable unto Him. [Soorah al-Ikhlas:4]
[2] meaning in Arabic `Shirk’……” directing any form of worship to anyone or anything besides Allah believing that others besides Allah have the power to harm or benefit.
Huzoor Akram (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) Behasiat Tajir
Choosing The Desired Wife
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, the Merciful, the Hearer of supplications, and peace and blessings upon our beloved and humble prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and companions. When marriage is spoken of during these “modern” times, Muslims become horrified, conjuring images of an arranged marriage, trying to find that “perfect” companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on. The reality is that Islam came to solve these problems, not exacerbate them, yet unfortunately, we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for a man rather than a delightful experience.
When living in a free, perverted and corrupt Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests, as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, on the media, and at work. And so the wisdom of the Prophet (s.a.w) echoes on, when he said: “O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances), and preserves one from immorality…”
When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to just what kind of wife you want, what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household, and how you will know who she is.
As Muslims, we believe that Allah wants the best for us and that His Prophet (s.a.w) illustrated this through his own life. So note that by following the advice of our own Creator and that of His beloved servant, we can only be successful.
Who To Marry
Islam is clear on the kind of wife you should be seeking. The Prophet (s.a.w) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed.” This specifically defines just what kind of a companion we are seeking, for if we marry her for anything other than her religious piety, our marriage is bound to fall into misery.
True, beauty and charm are hard to resist, yet beauty does not last forever and does not guarantee you her obedience and religiousness. Financial status is dynamic, and so is worldly status, yet religion strongly establishes a household, and it may be that through your intention of marrying her for her religion, the rest is given to you anyway. In another hadith, the Prophet (s.a.w) said: “The whole world is a provision and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.”
Imagine! Nothing in this world is as valuable as a pious woman! This point has been stressed many times by Rasulallah (s.a.w), who himself when asked what three things he loved the most, mentioned a pious woman. Once the following ayah was revealed:
“They who hoard up gold and silver and do not spend it in the way of Allah, unto them give tidings of a painful doom. On that day when it will (all) be heated in the fire of Jahannam, and their foreheads and flanks and their backs will be branded therewith (and it will be said to them): ‘Here is what you hoarded for yourselves, now taste of what you used to hoard’ “[al-Taubah: 34-35].
Umar (r.a.a) has been quoted to say that, when this ayah was revealed, he approached the Prophet (s.a.w), submitting that the ayah weighed heavily on the minds of the Sahaba. Rasulallah (s.a.w) replied that the best thing to be treasured is the devoted wife who causes pleasure when seen obeys orders instantly and takes full care of herself and her husband’s property when he is away. Abu Bakr once asked Rasulallah (s.a.w) what was the best thing to be treasured, and he (s.a.w) replied: “the tongue in remembrance of Allah, the heart filled with thanks to Allah, and a pious wife who helps in virtuous deeds”. Look at how valuable such a woman is in the sight of Allah! How can a man live unhappily with such a person?
Qualities Of The Pious Woman
Alright, you say, you’ve convinced me, but what actually makes her a pious woman? The answer is simple: Allah himself has described those qualities most loved by Him in the Quran, and in the ahadith, there are numerous accounts of the virtuous attributes of a pious woman.
The following are some ayahs on the attributes of the wife you should be seeking, so note those fine and appreciative qualities.
“And women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity”[s.24;v.26]
“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard”[s.4;v.34]
“It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (Muslims), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for faith) and fast…”[s.66;v.5].
And then, in surah Ahzab, is a full list of those qualities loved by Allah, qualities which by the way should be evident in both males and females. So, my dear brother, choose her for the following attributes:
a Muslim woman
a believing woman
a devout woman
a true woman
a woman who is patient and constant
a woman who humbles herself
a woman who gives charity
a woman who fasts and denies herself
a woman who guards her chastity
a woman who engages much in Allah’s praise.
Among the four known perfect women was Maryam. She was loved by Allah because of her religious qualities:
“O, Maryam! Worship your Lord: prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow down”[s.3;v.43].
Another was the wife of Pharaoh: “And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: ‘O my Lord, build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden’ “[s.66;v.11].
The Prophet (s.a.w) loved his wives because of their religious qualities. Aisha once related the fine qualities of Zainab:
“(Zainab) was the one who was somewhat equal in rank with me in the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (s.a.w), and I have never seen a woman more advanced in religious piety than Zainab, more God-conscious, more truthful, more alive to the ties of blood, more generous and having more sense of self-sacrifice in practical life and having more charitable disposition and thus more closer to Allah, the Exalted, than her.”
Ahh, you think, but you’ll never find such a woman! Well, if that was true, Allah would not have described her in the first place, and furthermore, those qualities were emanating from the women described above. Islam deals with reality, not fiction. Sure, the perfect woman doesn’t exist, yet
“if you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good”[s.4;v.19].
Remember also that you are not perfect either.
KNOWING WHO SHE IS To find that pious woman, there are two steps to be taken, and the first one relies on your personal observation. In surah Nisaa, Allah asks the believing women that they should “lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments,” and also that they “should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments”[s.24;v.31]. If you notice a woman acting modestly, being not too obvious through her actions (by lowering her voice when around men), one who attempts to hide her attractions (which includes her external beauty as well as her internal charms), then you know she has some of those precious qualities. When you see a woman unashamedly flirting, unconcerned about her revealing clothes, and freely conversing with males- keep far, far away. I’m sure when you get married you want your wife to devote her love to you, not to twenty other “just good friends”.
Through simple observation, you can get a glimpse of her nature; for example, the way she stands when conversing, how she maintains eye- contact, her clothes, where she spends her time etc. Look for her strong points, and don’t stress on her weak ones.
Yet, after all this, we still have to come to the most important topic. You can look all you want at her, set a private investigator to track her movements, read her diaries (all of which I consider extreme and unIslamic), yet, my dear brother, no one knows her heart and intentions, no one knows whether she will turn sour or more religious, or whether you are suitable for each other, except for Allah.
Trust In Allah
We are choosing our wife for her permanent values; namely her religious devotions, moral integrity, character etc. But believe me, if we try to combine marriage, we are almost sure to fail, because we have no knowledge.
Allah loves a servant when he puts his trust in Him. When we do so, it is illustrating how we rely upon Him for help and prove our sincerity to Him, establishing that we recognise His infinite knowledge and wisdom.
Islam is likened to being a house, and in my estimation, nothing cements that house together as well as putting our trust in Allah.
It is related to the authority of Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah that the Prophet (s.a.w) used to teach his companions to seek, through a special dua (known as an istikharah), guidance of Allah in all matters which affected them. Rasulallah (s.a.w) said: “When you are confused about what you should do in a certain situation, then pray two Rakat of nafl salaat and read the dua (dua of istikharah).”
I am surprised at the criticisms thrown at this dua, and of its negligence. We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only enough to survive. So why shouldn’t we turn to Allah and seek His perfect help whenever we require it? Allah responds to the call of His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking to do something in order to please Him.
Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will pray, read the dua, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing them their future wife, what her favourite colour is, and some other weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salaat.
The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go by your feelings, whether you now feel more favourable or not. Also, you may notice events have changed, either for or against you. Finally, as a wonderful gift from Allah, you may be blessed with a dream. Note that you must follow the results of an istikharah, because not doing so is tantamount to rejecting Allah’s guidance once you’ve asked for it. Also, you should firstly clear your mind,
not have your mind already decided, and then afterwards follow the results willingly.
The Prophet (s.a.w) once sent Zainab a proposal of marriage. She refused to accept the proposal straight away, expressing her intention to refer the matter to Allah: “I do not do anything until I solicit the will of my Lord.” Allah,
the Responsive answered her plea for help and revealed an ayah approving of the marriage. We may seem shocked at her refusal to accept a proposal from what is the best husband any woman can have, yet she was just recognising that it is Allah who knows how successful such a marriage will be, and as a sign of appreciation, that reply is now preserved in our Holy Book: al Quran.
The Prophet (s.a.w) once said to Aisha: “I saw you in a dream for three nights when an angel brought you to
me in a silk cloth and he said: ‘Here is your wife’, and when I removed (the cloth) from your face, lo, it was yourself, so I said: ‘if this is from Allah, let Him carry it out “.
Marriage is a serious step and requires the right attitude. If marriage completes half our faith, shouldn’t that half be the best half? A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your life-long companion, the carer of your children. Don’t marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is but illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allah. Beauty is but superficial, but the beauty of Iman is transcendent.
When asking Allah for a wife, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us: “For Allah are certain and dignified names: therefore call upon Him by them”[s.7;v.189]. Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say: “Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous”[al-Furqan,74].
I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and His ability to help us. Allah says: “Put your trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him”[s.3;v.159].
May Allah help us in our sincere efforts in following His commandments and the way of His beloved servant, and provide us with wives whom He loves.
“When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me: let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in Me: that they may walk in the right way”[al-Baqarah,v.186].
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Quran Aur Tazeem-e-Mustafa (S.A.W)
Tried And Tested: The Fitnah Of Children
“Why don’t they listen?”
“Where did I go wrong?”
“How can I guide them ?”
These – and other similar questions – are on the minds of Muslim parents across the globe, as a generation of young Muslims comes of age, brought up on mixed messages gleaned from culturally conservative parents and morally permissive societies.
As many bewildered parents are discovering to their chagrin, the days when children were dutiful, tractable chips off the old block who lived by the principle of “We hear and we obey” (Sami’na wa ata’na) are long gone. Today’s children are more likely to be the personification of Fitnah alluded to in the Qur’an (64:15, 8: 28) than the proverbial “coolness of eyes.”
Explaining the concept of children as Fitnah, Ibn Al-Qayyim says, “The word Fitnah carries different meanings (depending upon the context in which it has been used in the Qur’an) – it can be a test or trial from Allah to His slaves by means of both good things and bad, blessings and calamities…” (Zaad Al-Ma’ad, vol. 3, p. 170).
Linguists say that the root of the word Fitnah is taken from the phrase ‘Fatantu al-fiddah wa’l-thahab’ [I assayed/tested (the quality of) the silver and gold] – implying a literal and metaphorical trial by fire to separate the bad from the good, the worthy from the unworthy.
What’s the best way for a parent to go through this trial and emerge successful, according to the Qur’an, Sunnah, and the practice of our predecessors?
Sincerity and du’a
The Qur’an speaks of the mother of Maryam, who prayed for a righteous child who would serve Allah:
“(Remember) when the wife of ‘Imran said: “O my Lord! I have vowed to You what (the child that) is in my womb to be dedicated for Your services, so accept this from me.” (Qur’an, 3:35)
Similarly, the Prophet Zakariyah (peace be upon him) was satisfied with the decree of Allah and remained childless all through his life, until in his old age he prayed for offspring who would “inherit me, and inherit (also) the posterity of Ya’qub (Jacob) (inheritance of religious knowledge and Prophethood, not of wealth). And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!” (Qur’an, 19:6)
These parents prayed for and aspired to raise children who were obedient to Allah, not just to their own whims and vanities or to the dictates of whatever was socially and culturally acceptable in their time, which is why their children were “neither Jabbaar (overbearing) nor asiy (rebellious).”
Complete trust
As parents, it’s not enough for us to verbally say “Allah knows best” when it comes to raising our children; we must trust in the Wisdom of His laws and manifest this trust in our actions. One parent who displayed extraordinary trust in the Guidance of Allah was the mother of Prophet Moses (peace be upon him), to whom it was revealed:
“Suckle him and then when you fear for him, cast him into the river. Do not fear or grieve; We will return him to you and make him one of the Messengers.” (Qur’an, 28:7)
Many of us stop short of following the guidance of the Qur’an and Sunnah in our lives because we fear it may make us appear “extreme” or “strange” in the eyes of others, forgetting that the promise of Allah extends to those who follow His guidance: that they shall “neither fear nor grieve.”
Struggle and patience
Sa’i means to struggle and refers to the seven circuits made by pilgrims between the two mounts Safa and Marwah, in the footsteps of Hajar, the mother of Isma’il (peace be upon him), remembering her desperate search for water for her thirsty child.
Parenting is a taxing work by design, which is why, if done with a spirit of patience and fortitude, it is rewarded many times over in this world and the Hereafter. Parents who deny their children time, attention, and guidance may not discover until it’s too late that there are no shortcuts to raising righteous children, no matter how good one’s original intentions are.
Wisdom
The story of Prophets Yusuf and Ya’qub (peace be upon him) in the Qur’an and the advice of Luqman to his son prove that parents are intended to be sources of spiritual guidance and practical wisdom for their children. If parents relinquish their responsibility as caregivers and counselors, who can blame a child for being amenable to corrupting external influences, and later acting on them? Contrary to what many of us believe, parental wisdom doesn’t mean merely lecturing a child on his duties in Islam, it means ‘walking the talk’, and inspiring them tactfully, without alienating or coercing them.
Surrender to Allah’s decree
One of the most poignant verses in the Qur’an is the exchange between Prophet Nuh (peace be upon him) and his son as he embarks on the Ark and the waves grow as large as mountains around him:
Nuh called out to his son, who had kept himself apart, “My son! Come on board with us. Do not stay with the unbelievers!” He said, “I will take refuge on a mountain; it will protect me from the flood.” He said, “There is no protection from Allah’s command today except for those on He has mercy.” Then, the waves surged in between them and he was among the drowned.” (Qur’an, 11:42-43)
When Prophet Nuh (peace be upon him) entreated Allah saying, “O Lord, Indeed my son is of my family!”, he received the answer: “O Nuh! Surely, he is not of your family; indeed his work is unrighteous, so do not ask Me of which you have no knowledge!” (Qur’an, 11:45-46)
Too many parents today are frustrated and disheartened when despite their best efforts, they find their children straying from the Straight Path. We forget that we can only direct our children, ultimately guidance belongs to Allah alone – there is a point beyond which the only weapons which parents can rely on are patience and prayer.
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