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What the Qur’an Teaches: Why Hate Oneself

In the name of God, the Lord of Grace, the Ever Merciful The unbelievers will be addressed:

“Indeed, greater than your present loathing of yourselves is God’s loathing of you when you were called to the faith and you rejected it.” They will say: “Our Lord! Twice have You caused us to die, just as twice You have brought us to life! Now that we have recognized our sins, is there any way out?” [They will be told]: “This is all because when God alone was invoked, you denied this truth; whereas, when partners were associated with Him, you believed in them! All judgment rests with God, the Exalted, the Supreme One.” He is who shows you His signs and sends down sustenance from the sky for you. Yet only those who turn to God will take heed. (The Forgiving, Ghafir; 40: 10-13)

The verses just before this passage drew an image of certain angels, the carriers of God’s throne, and those surrounding it. It shows them in supplication, address their prayer to God appealing for His grace to be bestowed on believers, their brethren in faith. Now the surah gives a contrasting image of the unbelievers who find themselves in a totally different capacity. Everyone is looking for support, but none is to be found. In fact, all bonds with all beings and things in the universe are severed. They are called out so that they can listen to the rebuke coming from all directions. The arrogance they demonstrated in this life is turned now into humiliation. They want to place their hopes in someone, but none is available to encourage their hopes:

The Arabic text uses the strongest word for hate. We see them addressed from all corners and told that God’s loathing of them when they were called upon to believe and still rejected the faith is far stronger than their feelings of hate toward themselves as they realize to what end they have brought themselves. They realize how different their fate could have been, had they responded to the call to faith before it was too late. This reminder is exceptionally painful for them in their newly difficult situation.

Now that all delusion is gone, they realize that the only one to turn to is God Himself; and so they do: “They will say: Our Lord! Twice have You caused us to die, just as twice You have brought us to life! Now that we have recognized our sins, is there any way out?” Their words betray their misery and despair. They call out: ‘Our Lord!’ Yet they had once denied Him and rejected His message. You gave us life the first time when You breathed of Your spirit into what was dead and thus You gave it life and we became alive. Again You have given us life after we died. We are now turning to You because You are the only One who can save us from the misery we are in. We acknowledge our faults and admit our sins. Is there, then, a way out of this misery?

Their appeal betrays the direness of their situation. They are in bitter despair. They are made to see the reason for their plight: “This is all because when God alone was invoked, you denied this truth; whereas, when partners were associated with Him, you believed in them! All judgment rests with God, the Exalted, the Supreme One.” This is what has brought you to your present position of humiliation. You denied God’s oneness and attributed partners to Him. All judgment, then, rests with Him, the Exalted, the Supreme. Both attributes fit well with the position of judgment. He is Exalted above all things and Superior to all beings.

The surah now dwells on one of God’s attributes that fit with His exalted position. The believers are instructed to address their prayers to Him, associating no partners with Him and to be sincere in their devotion to Him alone. The surah also refers to the fact of revelation so as to give a warning about the day when all mankind will be brought together for judgment, reward and punishment. On that day, all dominion and sovereignty belong to God alone.

“He is who shows you His signs.” God’s signs are seen in everything in the universe: in the great bodies such as the sun and the planets, and also in the great phenomena such as the day and night, rain, thunder, and lightning. Likewise, they are seen in minute things such as the atom, cell, leaf, or flower. In each of these, there is a miraculous sign which appears clearly when man tries to imitate it, let alone initiate it. Never can manfully imitate even the simplest little thing God has created.

And He is who “sends down sustenance from the sky for you.” Of all the sustenance God sends down people know best the rain, which is the origin of life on earth and the source of food and drink. Yet there is so much more than the rain that God sends down and people learn about this gradually. Part of it consists of the rays that are necessary for life on earth. Such sustenance may also include the divine messages that have provided guidance for mankind ever since the early stages of human life on earth. They showed the man the right way and provided sound codes for living.

“Yet only those who turn to God will take heed.” It is the one who turns to God that remembers His grace as well as His signs and revelations which the unbelievers, with hardened hearts, prefer to ignore.

– by Adil Salahi

81 Ways To Win Your Wife’s Love

In today’s life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims. The article, originally contributed by several bloggers and readers on MuslimMatters.org. Feel free to write to me your own list with experiences.

Having said that, let’s take on the men first, here’s how you can keep up your wife’s love:

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du’a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they become big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in the mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.
47. Don’t leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for a ladies-only get-together and arrange for dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kinds of herbs she needs for cooking.
77. Adopt a kitten for her if she likes.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

Return To Tawheed: Solution Begins With The Individual

The Kalimah (word) of Tawheed, La ilaha ill-Allah, came to correct belief – not only that of the ancient polytheists but of all men up until the Day of Judgement. It testifies that there is no divinity except Allah none other than Him and none along with Him. None is similar to Him, none creates and sustains except Him, and none has the right to govern creation but Him. The concept of Tawheed necessarily overflows into all aspects of belief and worship into all aspects of life.

Whether he recognizes it or not, man is totally indebted to his Creator for his continuing existence hour by hour, not to mention such blessings as his many possessions and abilities.

Knowing that Allah alone is the Creator – the Sustainer, the Provider, the Controller, the source of all benefit and harm in whose hands is the Judgment and the final destination of men – requires through common sense and reason that He alone be worshipped.

Although the concept of worship (ibadah) has been gradually reduced in common usage to mean little more than the performance of certain religious rites and rituals, the original and true definition is comprehensive.

It encompasses all actions and intentions motivated by a recognition of greatness – that combination of love and fear, producing efforts to please the Lord Alone and to avoid His displeasure.

An object of worship continually occupies the mind of the worshipper and consequently governs his behavior, both consciously and unconsciously.

When applying the correct definition, it becomes clear that despite lip-service to “La ilaha ill-Allah,” one’s object of worship could well be something other than Allah.

“Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his god, and Allah knowing (him as such), left him astray…?” (Qur’an, 45:23)

Pursuers of falsehood like those who embrace political ideologies might assume that by bowing to Allah in prayer, they worship Him alone. But Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) firmly corrected this misconception.

Once, Adiyy Bin Hatim entered while the Prophet was reciting a verse from the Qur’an: “They took their rabbis and their monks as lords besides Allah and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, Son of Mary, while they were commanded to worship none but One God…” (Qur’an, 9:31)

Adiyy (a former Christian) said, “O Messenger of Allah, they did not worship them.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Did they (the priests) not tell them (the people) that the Haraam was Halaal and that the Halaal was Haraam and (the people) followed them in that?” When Adiyy admitted, “Yes,” the Prophet stated, “That was their worship of them.” (Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi)

Willful obedience to what is disobedience to Allah is impermissible. Worship in the above Hadith was defined as obedience – a fact that becomes evident from even a superficial study of the Qur’an in which Allah orders repeatedly:

“Obey Allah and the Messenger.” (Qur’an, 3:32; 3:132; 4:59; 8:1; 8:64; 24:54; 47:33; 58:13; and 64:12) Many other verses, although worded differently, carry the same meaning.

“The command (or the judgment) is for none but Allah…” (Qur’an, 12:40)

Two types of shirk were common both before and after the commissioning of the prophethood of Muhammad (peace be upon him). The first of these is the dedication of acts of worship (especially du’a) to others besides Allah while still claiming belief in Him. The Qur’an orders:

“And invoke not any other god along with Allah. There is no god but Him.” (Qur’an, 12:40)

The other type of shirk is the willful adherence to laws and rulings other than those of Allah.

“Have you seen those who claim that they believe in that which has been sent down to you, and that which was sent down before you, and they wish to go for judgment (in their disputes) to the Taghut (false judges, etc.) while they have been ordered to reject them…?” (Qur’an, 4:60)

The absence of Tawheed is sadly evident today in the acceptance of foreign philosophies, political oppression, innovations in religion, and countless forms of disobedience. Allah warns:

“Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord. And do not follow any patrons besides Him.” (Qur’an, 7:3)

“And if you obey most of those on earth, they will mislead you far away from Allah’s Path.” (Qur’an, 6:116)

Reform will be accomplished only when the majority of Muslims return to the true worship of Allah and do not tolerate Shirk. The Jihad against tyranny and oppression everywhere on earth will neither be accepted by Allah nor aided by Him until the participants are truly dedicated to His cause and free of all other motivations. Jihad against the self and refinement of the soul should be the first step.

“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…” (Qur’an, 13:11)

The solution begins with the individual… in the soul.

– An excerpt from Realities of Faith, Abul-Qasim Publishing House

The Spiritual Path Of Islam

What is the spiritual path in Islam and what is its place in life as a whole? To answer this it is necessary to study carefully the difference between the Islamic concept of spirituality and that of other religions and ideologies. Without a clear understanding of this difference, it often happens that, when talking about spirituality in Islam, many of the vague notions associated with the word ‘spiritual ‘ unconsciously come to mind; it then becomes difficult for one to comprehend that this spirituality of Islam not only transcends the dualism of spirit and matter but is the nucleus of its integrated and unified concept of life. The idea which has influenced most the climate of philosophical and religious thought is that body and soul are mutually antagonistic and can develop only at each other ‘s expense. For the soul, the body is a prison and the activities of daily life are the shackles that keep it in bondage and arrest its growth. This has inevitably led to the universe being divided into the spiritual and the secular.

Those who chose the secular path were convinced that they could not meet the demands of spirituality, and thus they led highly material and hedonistic lives. All spheres of worldly activity, whether social, political, economic, or cultural, were deprived of the light of spirituality; injustice and tyranny were the results.

Conversely, those who wanted to tread the path of spiritual excellence came to see themselves as ‘noble outcasts’ from the world. They believed that it was impossible for spiritual growth to be compatible with a ‘normal ‘ life. In their view, physical self-denial and mortification of the flesh were necessary for the development and perfection of the spirit. They invented spiritual exercises and ascetic practices which killed physical desires and dulled the body’s senses. They regarded forests, mountains, and other solitary places as ideal for spiritual development because the hustle and bustle of life would not interfere with their meditations. They could not conceive of spiritual development except through withdrawal from the world.

The Islamic viewpoint differs radically from these approaches. According to Islam, Allah has appointed the human soul as His Khalifah (vicegerent) in this world. He has invested it with a certain authority and given it certain responsibilities and obligations for the fulfillment of which He has endowed it with the best and most suitable physical frame.

The body has been created with the sole object of allowing the soul to use it in the exercise of its authority and the fulfillment of its duties and responsibilities. The body is not a prison for the soul, but its workshop or factory; and if the soul is to grow and develop, it is only through this workshop.

Consequently, this world is not a place of punishment in which the human soul, unfortunately, finds itself, but a field in which Allah has sent it to work and do its duty towards Him.

 

The Sanctity Of Life

IT is a manifestation of the dignity of man that Islam has placed an infinite value on human life. This is expressed in the Holy Qur’an in the following terms:

Because of that, We ordained for the Children of Israel that if anyone killed a person, not in retaliation of murder, or (and) to spread mischief in the land – it would be as if he killed all mankind, and if anyone saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of all mankind. (Qur’an, 5:32)

The reference to the children of Israel, that is, the Jews, represents the continuity of the basic values that are common to all revealed religions.

Both Judaism and Islam are committed to the protection of human life. It makes no difference whether the victim is a Jew, a Muslim, or anyone else.

The value that is advocated is holistic and indivisible in that aggression against one is tantamount to aggression against all. Life is not only of infinite value, it is also sacred:

“And do not kill anyone whose killing Allah has forbidden, except for a just cause.” (Qur’an, 17:33)

Al-Ghazali has quoted these verses and drew the conclusion: “In respect of the sanctity of life and the prohibition of aggression against it, Muslims and non-Muslims are equal. Attack on the personal safety of non-Muslims invokes the same punishment in this world and the Hereafter.” (Muhammad Al-Ghazali, Huquq Al-Insan, p 54)

In times of war
In times of military engagement, the warriors are under a personal duty not to destroy civilian life.

It is consequently unlawful to attack women and children, the elderly and the insane, the ill and the invalid, and this includes the blind, the lame, the crippled, and the unconscious.

The exempted categories also include the priest and the monk and those engaged in worship as well as farmers who occupy themselves with their works in the field provided that they are not involved in the conflict.

The Hadith contains detailed instructions on all of these and the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) generally advised military commanders and soldiers on the battlefield to be fair, avoid excessive violence and incline towards peace.

– Zuhaili has quoted five Ahadith on the subject. For details, see al-Fiqh Al-Islami wa Adillatuh, volume VI, page 421.