Qabar Kay Halat Aur Azab
Our Misfortunes Fate Or Fiction?
Thinking that our suffering is a punishment from Allah, or just a doing of His because that is what He does, is a very superficial way to look at things.
I have always been a successful, smart, admired, and well-loved person. I always had an idea of what I wanted to do next, and how I would achieve it. I always felt like Allah is on my side, that He answers my prayers and gives me the best of what I ask for. Life has been so rewarding and so fulfilling to my sense of self, until one day, when everything started to change. Unexpectedly, the professional paths I took no longer landed me where I wanted, it threw me on the opposite side of the plan. The people I met no longer appreciated or admired the person that I was, they overlooked the obvious. They only judged, criticized, and belittled me. My financial situation became so unpromising, and my health deteriorated. Those, who seemed so far away from where I was yesterday, are way ahead of me now. Yet, on top of everything, Allah was no longer answering my prayers. No matter how many times I prayed and begged all night, nothing seemed to change. It suddenly felt like a one-sided relationship and that He was no longer responding.
Disappointed, exhausted, frustrated, and torn apart, I asked a thousand questions: why, how, and why me? Am I being punished, or is it how things go? Does Allah sometimes not respond, although He is capable of it, and do I just need to get along with that? I got trapped inside myself and started to feel like the world had become my enemy, and even worse, that Allah was no longer by my side. I went through a very bitter journey both on the inside and outside that many of us pass through in our lives.
Don’t feel agitated, for you are not alone in that. You are not the only one who has unanswered prayers, or question marks about Allah, are doing. You are not the only one who has doubts. We are partners in the same “elevating experience”.
Why Do Bad Things Happen?
Allah SWT says “What would Allah do with your punishment if you are grateful and believe?” [Quran 4:417]
So, thinking that our suffering is a punishment from Allah, or just a doing of His because that is what He does, is a very superficial way to look at things. Yet, if Allah is not punishing us, nor merely imposing misfortune on us, then why is He doing so? There must be something else beneath the surface that we need to understand. However, to be able to understand what that thing is, we need to look a bit into our psychology.
The Psychology of Our Suffering
As we start our journey in this world, from a very early age, we try to define ourselves through things: relationships, possessions, successes, and accomplishments. Our identification with things is our basic level of self-identification and the most common form of it. Once we define ourselves with things, we cling to them as they become who we are. We start doing anything we can to preserve this false identity. We want more to feel whole, yet, we are farming on fallow land.
The reality is that what we are looking for is the thought that has the label “I, me, mine” on it, or anything that feeds our ego, our false sense of self! Rather than pursuing a sense of identity, we are only pursuing slavery! We are slaves of the things we pursue, slaves who look high upon ourselves and value our ego to the extent that we don’t take losing easily. In fact, if there is a good definition of slavery, it would not be better than the definition we set for ourselves.
Breaking Free from Slavery
A very wise man once said, “He who thinks highly of himself, degrades his religion”. Contemplating this statement solves the mystery of Allah’s doing in our lives. Allah does not inflict calamities upon our lives to punish us, rather He does so to free and elevate our souls. This is clearly declared in Allah SWT saying “And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me [51:56]”.
Our mission is obvious and clear, although we tend to overlook it most of the time. We are here to transcend our egos to a higher consciousness, our “ROH” or purified soul. Because it is this purified soul that knows Allah well and is capable of His worship. Egos, on the other side, are a diversion, a test from Allah to measure our sincerity and perseverance in our pursuit of knowing Him and hence worshiping Him at our best. That is why Allah SWT will give us whatever experience is most helpful to free our souls from the chains of slavery, as our purified souls are found on the other end of attachments. Yet, purifying our souls can only be attained through our servitude to Allah, not through our slavery to this Dunya.
So, when Allah finds us imprisoned inside our clinginess for wealth, success, or social status, and trapped inside our dependence on people who are as weak as we are for emotional security, sustenance, or well-being, then He throws us the gift of freedom wrapped in a calamity. Accepting His presents with that level of consciousness would direct us in unwrapping it right. Just like taking off your shoes and walking barefoot on soft sand feels very liberating, so is taking off all this Dunya from your heart. When we look upon Allah’s actions through this lens, we can easily comprehend why He threw His most beloved Prophets with the most difficult of trials. It is because the highest of tests only suit the best of His servants.
The Link between Mental Illness & Spirituality with Psychotherapist Berak Hussain (Podcast)
Philosophy of the Trials of Prophets
Although it was heartbreaking for Prophet Ibrahim to leave his son Ismail and his wife Hajar in the middle of the desert, it was Allah’s gift to free Ibrahim’s heart from the unhealthy attachment to his one and only son at that time. Yet, if it hadn’t been for that, our Prophet (PBUH) would not have been born in Mecca. And if it hadn’t been for the Prophet’s loss of both of his beloved wife Khadija and dear uncle Abu-Talib at the darkest of hours, the rising of Islam would have been attributed to their support, not to Allah’s.
If it hadn’t been for the change of tides in the battle of Uhud and the close defeat of the companions, the remains of Dunya in their hearts wouldn’t have been completely removed, and their faith wouldn’t have been bulletproof.
If the incident of Moussa killing an Egyptian by mistake hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t have left the castle of the Pharoh and traveled to Madyan to grow a thick skin, and hence be prepared to be spoken to by Allah SWT.
Unwrap Your Gifts
So regardless of your suffering, try to unwrap the message inside. There is something in it for you, something that is coming especially for you to liberate your heart from depending on a person, a job, a boss, or even a child for matters that only Allah is responsible for. Something that intends to redirect your heart from its intense occupation with Dunya to Allah. Something that is teaching you step-by-step to trust in Him, rely on Him, call onto Him, speak with Him, repent to Him and really get to know Him. He created us, and He does love us more than a mother loves her child. So, trust His education and let it bring you closer to Him, never far.
“Let the pain of trial be eased by your knowing that it is Him (SWT) who is giving you this trial; For the One whose trials are overwhelming, is the One who has always chosen the best for you (Ibn Atta’ Allah)”.
May we always find peace and understanding?
Shaimaa Elhomossany
Bukhal Karne, Akhirat Say Beparwa Bannay Aur Deen Islam Ko Jhutlanay Ki Waeedien
Bukhal Karne, Akhirat Say Beparwa Bannay Aur Deen Islam Ko Jhutlanay Ki Waeedien
Married Without Job
While most youth today are one extreme – delaying their marriage without reason – another peculiar mentality is becoming increasingly common nowadays. Brothers who have no jobs, get married with the intention of using their wives’ wealth, and when asked why they don’t have jobs, they give vague answers like “I want to be a businessman.”
What in the bleep is wrong with this picture? Some youth are out of their minds. What kind of Muslim has no job? What kind of Muslim leeches off of his wife?
Can a Muslim look into another brother’s eyes while saying this, and feel confident and proud about it? But a lot of brothers are behaving like this.
It’s amazing! One is dumbfounded by it. Brothers in the West have no job because they do not want to flip burgers or work in a supermarket because of the “Haram”!
Guess what, if you cannot find any other job, and you have exhausted all of your resources looking, then you have no choice. Your family has to eat. You must fulfill your obligation to your wife and kids.
The funnier part is that these same brothers wonder why their wives don’t obey them.
They want to come up with the Hadith on women’s duties then. They talk about how a supportive wife should be. Likewise, they are mistreating women and are talking about rights?! The wives have the right to seek divorce from such brothers.
The time has come for Muslims to grow up and wake up. These brothers must be held responsible by the community for their behavior.
This of course does not include those who are genuinely making an effort and struggling. We all face hard times once in a while. If you are struggling then may Allah make it easy for you because indeed after hardship comes ease.
It is time for Muslims to get educated. This idea of not studying is strange. Scholars in the past were educated in both, worldly affairs and religion.
We must prepare and plan well for our future, and our family’s future. Make sure children’s future is also taken into consideration.
Not only do we need a primary plan, but we also need a contingency plan, and both plans should be laid out for at least five to 10 years. That doesn’t mean saving money to last for five to 10 years, which one may never be able to do.
The point is to think about the big picture. Your plans may change, but your goals should not. Do not put your family in a situation where your own hands have brought about their suffering.
So let’s get on it! Time to raise the bar.
- April, 19
- 31
- Human Rights
- More
Mareez Ki Ayadat Kay Waqt Ki Dua
Mareez Ki Ayadat Kay Waqt Ki Dua
Prostrate Yourselves Unto Allah
[ALLAH’S Quran – 41:37] “Among His signs are the day and the night, the sun and the moon. Do not prostrate to the sun or the moon, but prostrate to Allah, Who created them all, if you truly worship Him alone”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said:
[Bukhari, Book #2, Hadith #50] “Do you know what is meant by believing in Allah alone?” They replied, “Allah and His Apostle know better.” Thereupon the Prophet said, It means:
1. To testify that none has the right to be worshiped but Allah and Muhammad is Allah’s Apostle.
2. To offer prayers perfectly
3. To pay the Zakat (obligatory charity)
4. To observe fast during the month of Ramadan.
5. And to pay Al-Khumus (one-fifth of the booty to be given in Allah’s Cause).
Then he forbade them four things, namely, Hantam, Dubba,’ Naqir Ann Muzaffat or Muqaiyar; (These were the names of pots in which Alcoholic drinks were prepared) (The Prophet mentioned the container of wine, and he meant the wine itself). The Prophet further said (to them): “Memorize them (these instructions) and convey them to the people whom you have left behind.”
Aik Maldar Shakhs Ki Tauba
Malik ibn Dinar: Aik Maldar Shakhs Ki Tauba
Husband And Wife On The Path To Allah
Being human, we all have shortcomings, and we all make mistakes, and after marriage, our mistakes and sins do hurt our spouse. When I first started studying the Deen of Islam in-depth, I harbored an almost ‘awestruck’ respect and reverence of practicing, religious Muslims; the way a teenaged, star-struck fan admires a popular celebrity in modern-day pop culture.
The idyllic picture of their personal lives that I’d painted in my naive young brain was based on my admiration of their lofty morals.
I assumed that the more righteous a person was, the more perfect and discord-free their personal and family life would be. I presumed that they would never have any disagreements with other Muslims, much less with their close family members.
More than a decade later, today, I know better, both because of my personal life experience and as a result of gaining some knowledge of Islam since those bygone days of youthful naiveté.
w I’d like to share some of the truthful facts about the marriages and family lives of righteous Muslims that Allah has allowed me to glean through the study of His Book and of the seerah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), including the lives of some of his companions.
Fighting & Differences
I have learnt that, even if both a husband and wife are very righteous and Allah-fearing, it is not possible for their married life to be devoid of differences and the occasional fighting.
A happy marriage between two righteous people does not mean a complete absence of fighting and disagreements between them, nor is it true that neither spouse will never dislike something about the other.
After marriage, every husband-wife duo will have to live through some days in which they are very angry at their partner; ticked off about something the latter did or said.
Being human, we all have shortcomings, and we all make mistakes, and after marriage, our mistakes and sins do hurt our spouse – the one person who lives with us day in and day out.
Several examples of this glaring reality of marriage viz. the presence of disagreements between righteous husbands and wives are present in the Quran and Sunnah.
The first example is that of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his wives, when he once became so angry at them all, that he vowed to not speak to or visit any of them for a month. This incident created quite a furor in Madinah and shows us that, even though the Prophet and his wives were the most righteous of this ummah, and all of them were destined for Jannah, their married lives were not without the occasional fights and undercurrents of anger.
There were even days when the Prophet’s wives got upset with him, as proved by another relevant hadith that mentions how, during such times, when Aisha daughter of Abu Bakr would be upset with her husband, she’d swear by Allah by saying, “By the Lord of Ibrahim”, instead of, “By the Lord of Muhammad”, the latter being her normal preference… Another narration mentions how his wife Hafsah bint Umar admitted to not talking to him sometimes during the day, in front of her father `Umar (may Allah be pleased with them all).
Another famous incident quoted in sahih ahadith, mentions how Ali ibn Abi Talib got his nickname ‘Abu Turab’ from his father-in-law, the Prophet (PBUH). Ali once left his home in a huff after a disagreement with his wife, Fatimah (RA) daughter of Muhammad (may Allah be pleased with them both), and lay down on the dusty masjid floor so that some of his clothes/body got covered in dust.
This indicates how the happy marriage of Ali (RA) and Fatimah (RA), one of the most righteous married couples in Islamic history, was not devoid of disagreements either.
An important point to note about this incident is that even though the Prophet clearly saw that Ali (RA) was angry, he lovingly called him by a nickname (perhaps to appease him), which means that the older, close family members of the quarreling married couple (especially their parents and parents-in-law) should not make a big hullabaloo about their occasional trivial tiffs unless the fighting gets serious in nature.
Hardship & Scarcity of Resources
The next fact based on real life, which my studies of the Quran and Sunnah have taught me over the years, about marriages between righteous couples, is that they are almost always tested by the afflictions of hunger, hardship, and/or straitened economic circumstances.
It is true that Prophet Muhammad deliberately chose to live a life of poverty, despite having full access to worldly resources that could allow him to live like a rich king (especially later on in his life), and all his wives supported him in this choice.
Allah had actually revealed Quranic verses offering his wives a choice: either they choose Allah and (staying married to) His Messenger whilst living in hardship, or they go for the luxuries of this worldly life. They all unanimously chose the latter, without hesitation.
However, there are other examples too. The Quran has made praiseworthy mention of a Muslim couple during the time of the Prophet, who honored and cared for their unexpected overnight guest to such a degree, that they both agreed to sacrifice the only single meal in their house that night, which was reserved just for their children, in order to serve it to their guest. They turned off the lamp before eating so that their guest would not find out that they were not eating anything.
Sahih Muslim has also recorded a narration about this incident… The Arabic word that Allah uses in the Quran to describe their situation is “khasasah”, which means, poverty, or dire need.
Whichever era in the time since Islam came to this world, one constant thing that I have observed in the biographical accounts of the lives of our pious predecessors (al-salaf al-salih) is that they endured poverty and hunger.
Young singles of this ummah who wish to marry someone righteous and henceforth live a life upon the Deen of Islam should therefore be forewarned that the trial of hunger and poverty might come from Allah as a test of their marriage, but to recall that, as it is the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad, it has a lot of good in it.
If the husband and wife can weather this trial with patience and righteousness, they will emerge from it stronger and closer to Allah, both as a couple as well as individuals, In Sha Allah.
Separation by Long Distance
The path to Jannah is thorny, but with a righteous spouse by one’s side, it becomes easier.
Lastly, yet another trying experience that many real-life marriages endure, especially those between righteous couples, is being separated for a long time in the path/for the sake of Allah.
Many a time, if her husband is a da’ee who is actively involved in the propagation of Allah’s Deen, a wife will have to endure days, weeks if not months, or years without him at home, living either with his extended family or just with her children, alone, busy raising their next generation.
However, it is not just du’at whose marriages are tested by the separation of husband and wife for a long time. Sometimes, when the husband loses his job (which happens a lot, in many marriages, cue point number two above) and the family is direly in need of an income, the only job offer that Allah might send his way could be in another city or country.
However, modern government-enforced visa and immigration restrictions as well as other factors related to the schooling/upbringing of their children, sometimes prevent a wife from joining her husband in the other country where he works, leading to weeks if not months of separation, which takes a toll on their marriage.
The prime example of this in Islamic history, when a righteous couple endured a trying separation for the sake of Allah, is that of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) and his wife Hajar. He left her and their infant son Ismael in the barren and desolate valley of Makkah, at the command of Allah, so that it could eventually become inhabited and the house of Allah could be built there.
Any modern-day Muslim couple who wishes to marry a righteous person and eventually live a married life according to superlative levels of taqwa, piety, and faith, should recall the marital challenges faced by our pious predecessors and how they faced the difficulties after getting married with exemplary patience (sabr).
The path to Jannah is thorny, but with a righteous spouse by one’s side, it becomes easier to tread than when trodden alone.
By Sadaf Farooqi
- April, 15
- 53
- Human Rights
- More
Umm Ziyad RA Ki Chand Aurton Kay Sath Khyber Mein Shirkat
Umm Ziyad RA Ki Chand Aurton Kay Sath Khyber Mein Shirkat
Wise Sayings From Quran
1) Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful. [Az-Zumar 39-53]
2) Wealth and children are [but] adornment (attraction) of the worldly life. But the enduring (everlasting) good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one’s] hope.[Al-Kahf 18:46]
3) Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon, the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. [Fussilat 41:34]
4) And peace will be upon he who follows the guidance. [Ta-Ha 20:47]
5) The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, their hearts become fearful, and when His verses are recited to them, it increases them in faith; and upon their Lord they rely. [Al-Anfal 8:2-4]
6) That you not transgress (deceit) within the balance. And establish weight in justice and do not make deficient the balance. [Ar-Rahman 55:8-9] (While selling, man should weigh things honestly)
7) Whom Allah leaves astray, you will never find for them protectors besides Him, and We will gather them on the Day of Resurrection [fallen] on their faces – blind, dumb, and deaf. Their refuge is Hell; every time it subsides We increase them in blazing fire. [Al-Isra 17:97]
8) And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind.” He will say, “My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?” [Allah] will say, “Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot [i.e., disregarded] them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten” [Ta-Ha 20:124-126]
9) And when it is said to them, “Follow what Allah has revealed,” they say, “Rather, we will follow that upon which we found our fathers.” Even if Satan was inviting them to the punishment of the Blaze? [Luqman 31:21]
10) And Allah invites to the Home of Peace [i.e., Paradise] and guides whom He wills to a straight path. [Yunus 10:25]
11) They [think to] deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive not except themselves and perceive [it] not. [Al-Baqarah 2:9]
12) O mankind, indeed the promise of Allah is true, So let not the worldly life delude (deceive) you, and let not the chief deceiver [i.e., Satan] deceive you about Allah. [Fatir 35:5]
13) Indeed, As-Salat (prayer) has been enjoined upon the believers at specified times. [Quran Chapter An-Nisa 4:103]
14) Indeed, the Day of Judgment is an appointed time (fixed time). [Quran An-Naba 78:17]