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Showing Disrespect to One’s Parents (Part 2)

Showing Disrespect to One’s Parents (Part 1)

Once Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) saw a man bearing his mother upon his shoulder and making circumambulation around the Ka’ba. The man asked him, “Do you think that I requite her? No, not even with a cry from childbirth. But well done. Allah will give you in return for a little deed a great reward.” (Reported by AI-Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the

Showing Disrespect to One’s Parents (Part 1)

Allah, the Most High, says, {Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.} (Al-Isra: 23-24)

Therefore, you should serve them as they did with you. But your service is not equal to theirs, as they suffered a lot in bringing you up, hoping that you might live long. On the other hand, when you shoulder their burdens, you hope that they will die soon. Allah, the Most High, says, {Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: To Me is thy final goal.} (Luqman: 14)

Behold, how Allah has associated gratitude to Him with the gratitude to the parents. Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “There are three verses (ayat) which have been revealed associated with three others. They are not accepted separately.

Love Your Parents

A Mother’s Labour Of Love
No one can deny the supreme sacrifice and care that a mother renders to her child. The mother carries him (in her womb) by enduring strain after strain. And subsequently, at the time of birth, she is suspended between life and death. All this she faces with determination as much as patience, barring any regret or anger.

After the child is born, the mother looks after him and brings him up with enormous love. She breastfeeds him for as long as two years, after which she continues to look after her child with all sincerity, regardless of the

Lessons We Can Learn from Surah Luqman

Besides the Prophets, in the Quran, Allah Almighty also reckons the existence and presence of wise people in the Quran who, although they were not Prophets,but Allah Almighty blessed them with wisdom and respect. One of such people mentioned in the Quran is Hakim Luqman.

Hakim Luqman is renowned as one of the wisest men among Muslims. He has had the honor of being mentioned in the Quran for His wisdom and the lessons he gave to his son. Although the origin and his stature as a person are not clearly known, however, all the Muslim scholars agree on the fact that he was one of the wisest people to have lived on earth.

In the Quran, Allah Almighty says about Hakim Luqman in the following way:
“And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman Al-Hakim (wisdom and religious understanding, etc.) saying: “Give thanks to Allah,” and whoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for (the good of) his own self. And whoever is unthankful, then verily, Allah is All-Rich (free of all wants), Worthy of all praise.” (31:12)

From this ayah, it is clear that Allah Almighty provided wisdom and guidance to Luqman, for which he was always grateful to Allah Almighty and was one of His servants. The advice which he gave to his son, which can be regarded as lessons, is given below.

Worship Allah Only:
In the Quran, Allah Almighty says: “And (remember) when Lukman said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed.” (31:13)

The first advice that Luqman gave to his son was to worship Allah Almighty only and not take anyone else equal in worship with him. It is the basis of the Islamic belief, and everyone who has a little bit of wisdom would realize the fact that there is only one God and that is Allah, and there is none who is equal to Him. Thus, Muslims must take the lesson from it that reckoning Allah as the only Lord is a sign of wisdom, and those who don’t do so are wrong indeed.

Respect The Parents:
In the Quran, Allah Almighty says: “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years– give thanks to Me and to your parents, – unto Me is the final destination.”(31:14)

The second lesson to be learned from Surah Luqman is being respectful to parents. Allah Almighty clearly mentions that one needs to be thankful to both the parents and Allah Almighty; therefore, what parents do is not their duty, rather they deserve special thanks from the children.

However, in the second ayah of the sequence, Allah Almighty clearly mentions that if both the parents try to prevent a person from worshiping Allah or make him or her worship someone else, then in that case a person is not to oblige to parents and leave all their compulsion and enforcement wisely with kind words and continue following the path of Allah Almighty. Therefore, in no case should a person be rude to the parents. One should obey them, but when it comes to worshiping Allah, there should be no compromise made, but still with kindness and politeness.

Deeds Get Rewarded:
Further in the Surah, Luqman says to his son: “O my son! If it is (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it is in a rock, or in the heavens, or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place).” (31:16)

This ayah gives the lesson that deeds always get rewarded. Regardless of whether it is a small deed done in public or a small deed done in isolation, it will get rewarded, and Allah Almighty will definitely do justice for whatever actions a person has committed on the day of judgment.

Offer Prayers and Do Good:
The next ayah of Surah Luqman talks about offering prayer, in which Hakim Luqman said: “O my son! Aqim-is-Salat (offer prayer perfectly), enjoin (people) for Almaruf, and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar, and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily! These are some important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.” (31:17)

From this ayah, it is clear that a person should offer prayers regularly, do good, forbid evil, and be patient in whatever Allah Almighty sends on a person. If these four elements are analyzed, these are the true essence of Islam, and the objective of it is to make a person stick to the path of righteousness, abhor evil, and always remain patient in adversity, which shows how strong a faith a person has in Allah Almighty.

Conclusion:
In a nutshell, the recitation of Surah Luqman with translation gives lessons that every Muslim must try to incorporate in his or her life in order to ensure that the life spent is on the path of righteousness and one remains spiritually pure and wise.

Islamic Tarbiyyah Of Children

In the tarbiyyah of children, you should remember that children often learn from example. The proper conduct and example of parents are crucial in the upbringing of children.

Parents who expect their children to be disciplined and to work hard must themselves be disciplined and work hard. Parents who expect their children to be truthful must not be in the habit of telling lies.

Also, it is important to remember that the treatment given to children in the early years of their life can have far-reaching effects on their mental and emotional state later on in life.

In the tarbiyyah of children, you should try to remember that:

Children should be happy and cheerful. And have a zest for life and living. They should be able to feel something of the carefree joy and excitement of growing up, especially before they are mukallaf. They should not be battered and terrorized.
They should be trained to grow up with the attitudes and habits, the adab or etiquette of Islam: “Be generous, kind and noble to your children and make their habits and manners good and beautiful (Akrimuu awlaadakum was ahsinuu adabahum),” said the noble Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam).

Among the virtues and habits they should develop are:

  • The habit of being honest and truthful;
  • The habit of being gentle and polite, for according to the noble Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam), “Gentleness adorns everything” without being timid, afraid, and cowed down;
  • The habit of being helpful and considerate without being loutish in their behavior to others.
  • The habit of being clean and neat and tidy, of looking after their hygiene and appearance.

Children need to develop the adab or the etiquette of Islam: when and how to greet; how to speak, sit, eat, and how to perform natural functions like personal toilet cleanly and efficiently as taught by the beloved Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam); to do everything in the manner, time and place that is appropriate for it, for example: to be reverent in salat, attentive in class, robust and full of zeal in play.

Children need to develop physical fitness and skills, to be strong and courageous. The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) recommended that children be taught horse riding, swimming, and archery.

One Muslim ruler once suggested that his child be taught swimming before reading or writing because someone else may read and write for him, but no one can swim for him!

From the noble Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam)’s recommendations, we see that children need to lead an active outdoor life and be proficient in some of the martial arts. They should have the stamina for demanding play and demanding work. This implies at least that they should be adequately fed.

Children need to develop a thirst for knowledge, beneficial knowledge through listening, observation, reading, and interacting with others. It is recommended that children be taught from an early age to recite and read the Quran and develop a love for it. At an early age, they have the capacity to memorize it, and it is common for many children and youths to memorize the whole or large parts of the Quran.

From the age of seven, the Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) recommended that children should get in the habit of performing salat, and by the age of ten, they should be required to do so regularly.

Children need to develop skills and be creative and inventive. They should be trained from an early age to take on responsibilities, to organize and take initiative, rather than be timid and submissive. They should be able to spend their time usefully and profitably.

They need to develop skills that would fit them for contemporary living and for the particular society in which they live. This may involve anything from the skills of running an efficient and creative home to the skills that would enable them to earn a living and help them in the process of tarbiyyah when their turn comes. Give a person a fish, and you feed just one person; teach a person to fish, and he can feed hundreds, says an apt Chinese proverb.

Above all, correct tarbiyyah should ensure that children develop a love for Islam, a love for Allah and His Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam), and that they develop a feeling of pride in being Muslim and a willingness to strive for the good of others.

They need to realize the benefits of Islam, the foundations on which it is based, and their need for Islam. They need to value Islam and live by Islamic values.

Abdul Wahid Hamid
from Islam: The Natural Way

Hazrat Luqman’s (Alaihe Salam) Advice For His Son!

Are we giving these pieces of advice to our sons and daughters? Analyze yourself. If not, start doing it from TODAY.

Hazrat Luqman AS, one of Allah’s pious men, gave some precious piece of advice to his son, for successful living in the world here and hereafter. The 10 guidelines he gave to his son are words of wisdom, which are followed even today, enabling us to live a happy, peaceful, and successful life. Practice these guidelines, make them part of your character, and enjoy a very prosperous life: –

1. Hazrat Luqman AS told his son, “Join not in worship others with Allah. Truly, joining others in worship with Allah is the greatest injustice and oppression indeed.”

2. He reminded his son that Allah has “enjoined on man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him upon weakness and hardship”. The total dependence of infants on their mothers is for two years. He also guides not to follow nonbeliever parents but treat them with kindness.

3. Hazrat Luqman AS, tells his son that Allah’s Knowledge is so perfect that the existence of anything, big or small, is acknowledged and controlled by Him. “If it be equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and tough it be as a rock, or in the Heavens or the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Certainly, Allah is subtle in bringing out that grain, well aware of its place”. He reminds his son about Allah’s absolute control over His kingdom. Such might and power must not be challenged or ignored by anyone.

4. Another great piece of advice by Hazrat Luqman AS to his son is to establish regular prayer, on time and with the best possible performance. He said, “O my son! Offer prayer perfectly.” Prayer is the direct connection between a Human being and his Creator. Parents must take great care to teach and call upon their children to establish prayer.

5. Hazrat Luqman AS advises his son to “enjoin (people) for good, and forbid from evil”. If every Muslim observes this duty, then evil and mischief will have no place in Human beings society.

6. After the useful advice he offered his son, Hazrat Luqman AS recommended patience in implementing them, and in all matters of life. “Bear with patience whatever befalls you. For sure, these are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption”. Because patience is a righteous act ordered, and rewarded by Allah.

7. Arrogance is an attribute of Allah alone and not for man. The Creator and Owner of the universe is the only One who deserves to be Arrogant. Allah warns arrogant people with punishment in Hellfire. Hazrat Luqman AS said, “And turn not your face away from men with pride.”

8. To be moderate is a great attitude anyone can possess. Hazrat Luqman advised his son, “Do not walk in insolence through the earth. For sure, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster.” Remember, Allah does not like that men are arrogant and proud of themselves.

9. To be moderate in walking and talking is also one of Hazrat Luqman AS’s advice to his son. “And be moderate (or show no insolence) in walking.” Every divine religion offers a code of conduct for life, but Islam offers comprehensive guidelines in this regard that will produce the best behavior and generate respect in mankind.

10. Hazrat Luqman AS reminds his son that being harsh while talking will liken his voice to the braying of a donkey. Shouting does not win hearts, rather, it will offend and alienate people. “And lower your voice. Truly, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of an ass!!”

Luqman shows great wisdom in his advice to his son. If Muslim parents take his example and have their children implement these pieces of advice, then by Allah’s permission, our Ummah will succeed in all walks of life.
(Jazak Allah Khair)

Allah Detests Every Boastful Who Exalts Himself Unduly And Displays Inordinate Self Esteem

 

وَاعْبُدُواْ اللّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُواْ بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْيَتَامَى وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالجَنبِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخْتَالاً فَخُورًا

[Quran 4:36]

[Translation – AL-Muntakhab] “And worship Allah and do not incorporate with Him other deities, and commit your parents to your kind care and display to them and to the kindred who are related by blood and to the orphans a friendly and kind disposition. A similar disposition is extended to the poor and to the neighbor related or immediate, to the associate and to the wayfarer, and to those on-hand, whether they be captives or reduced to servile state. And do realize that Allah detests every boastful who exalts himself unduly and displays inordinate self-esteem”

[Commentary Abdullah Yusuf Ali] “Real deeds of service and kindness proceed, not from showing off or from a superior sort of condescension (Cf. “White Man’s Burden”), but from a frank recognition of our own humility and the real claims, before ALLAH, of all our fellow-creatures. For in our mutual needs, we are equal before ALLAH, or perhaps the best of us (as the world sees us) may be worse than the worst of us (from the same point of view)”

[Commentary ALA-MAUDUDI] Serve Allah and ascribe no partner to Him. Do good to your parents, to near of kin, to orphans, and to the needy, and to the neighbor who is of kin and to the neighbor who is a stranger, and to the companion by your side, and to the wayfarer, and to those whom your right hands possess. Allah does not love the arrogant and the boastful,

Foundation Of Moral Excellence

[Allah’s Quran – 4:36] “Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbour, the neighbour farther away, the companion at your side, the traveller, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.”

The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said :
1- Parents: [Bukhari, Book #52, Hadith #41] “Narrated Abdullah bin Masud: I asked Allah’s Apostle, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is the best deed?” He replied, “To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times.” I asked, “What is next in goodness?” He replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents.” I further asked, what is next in goodness?” He replied, “To participate in Jihad in Allah’s Cause.” I did not ask Allah’s Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.”

2- Neighbors and Guests: [Malik’s Muwatta, Book #49, Hadith #49.10.22] “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be generous to his neighbour. Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should be generous to his guest. His welcome is for a day and a night, and his hospitality is for three days.”

3- Children: [Muslim, Book #030, Hadith #5736] “Abu Huraira reported that al-Aqra’ b. Habis saw Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) kissing Hasan. He said: I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.”

4- Orphans: [Malik’s Muwatta, Book #17, Hadith #17.6.14] “Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard that A’isha, the wife of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to give the property of the orphans that were in her house to whoever would use it to trade with on their behalf.”

5- Arrogant: [Bukhari, Book #60, Hadith #440] “Narrated Haritha bin Wahb Al-Khuzai: I heard the Prophet saying. ……..And may I inform you of the people of the Hellfire? They are all those violent, arrogant and stubborn people.”

The Prayer Of A Believer

[Allah’s Quran 46:15] “O my Lord! Please Inspire me to be Grateful forever for thy Favours to me and to my Parents and Please Guide me so that I may do Righteous Deeds, well Pleasing To thee; Please Grant me Righteous Descendents; truly I have turned To thee repentant and Truly do I Submit To thee as a Believer”

[Comment – Ibn Kathir] “My Lord! Grant me the power and ability) meaning, ‘inspire me.’ (that I may be grateful for Your favors which You have bestowed upon me and my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You,) meaning, in the future. (and make my offspring good.) meaning, my offspring and descendants. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims.) This contains an instruction for anyone who reaches forty years of age to renew his repentance and turn to Allah with strong resolution.”

Be Careful About Your Parents

1. Causing grief and sadness to parents
because of a statement or an action: Allah says:- “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.” (17:23)

Ad-Daylami narrated that Al-Husain Ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Has there been an act of Uquq, less than saying Uff (Fie), Allah would have disallowed it as well.”

Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn al-Aas (radhi allahu anhu) narrated that a man came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to give him the pledge of allegiance, saying, ‘I have come to give you my Bai’ah (allegiance) to perform Hijrah (migration to al-Medina). However, I left behind my parents while they were crying.” The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Then go back and make them laugh as you made them cry.” [Musnad Ahmad] Furthermore, Ibn Umar (radhi allahu anhu) said: “Bringing tears to parents is a part of Uquq and a major sin.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

2. Insulting or Cursing one’s Parents or somebody else’s Parents
Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) has cursed him, who insults his parents, he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Curse be upon whoever reviles his father, curse be upon whoever reviles his mother, Curse be upon on whoever slaughters for other than Allah, Curse be on whoever misguides a blind person on the street, Curse be on whoever does what the nation of Loot did.” [Saheeh al-Jamee (5767)]

And he (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) is also reported to have said: “From the major sins is a man reviling his parents.” We (Sahabah) said, “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and how does a man revile his parents?” He said: “Yes, reviling a man’s father is reviling your father, and reviling his mother is reviling your mother.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

And in another narration, Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) replied: “He abuses the father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former’s; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his mother.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] We learn from this Hadeeth that one should not abuse anyone’s parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin and he will be responsible for disgracing his parents.

3. Practicing Evil in front of Parents
One should not practice evil in front of parents, such as abandoning prayers, smoking, listening to music, watching indecent movies, and other types of immoral acts. These acts anger parents when Allah has even disallowed even saying Uff to them. If the parents agree with these acts of their child out of love for him, then the parents will earn evil deeds. The child will be committing evil for luring his parents to it, leading them to sin.

4. Disowning and Abandoning Parents
Anas al-Juhani said that his father narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Verily, on the Day of Resurrection, Allah has slaves whom He will neither speak nor purify nor look at.” He was asked: “Who are they, O Allah’s Messenger?” He said: “He who disowns and abandons his parents, he who disowns his children, and he who was granted a favor by a people, but he denied their favor and disowned them.” [Musnad Ahmad]

Refraining from spending on poor parents, forcing them in some cases to resort to courts so that the judge compels the children to spend on them is also a form of Uquq. One should remember that he and all his wealth belong to his father, as known from the following Hadeeth. A man said to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) that he had wealth and children, but his father wanted to use some of his wealth. The Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) replied: “You and your wealth are your father’s.” [Ibn Majah]

5. Preferring the wife over the parents is also part of Uquq
This has certainly become widespread in the present time. This becomes even worse in the case where one prefers his undutiful wife who tries her best to turn her husband away from his father and mother.

6. Refraining from visiting the parents 
Not keeping regular contact with them is also a type of Uquq. Al-Bukharee and Muslim narrated that Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) said that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Allah created all the creatures and when he finished the task of His creation, Ar-Raham (the womb ties of relationship) said: ‘(O Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me (sever the ties of relationship).’ Allah said: ‘Yes. Are you satisfied that I should hold with him who holds you and sever connection with him who severs you.’ It said: ‘I am satisfied.’ Allah said: ‘This is yours.’ Then Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Recite the verse if you like, ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are whom Allah has cursed…” [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]