Emotional And Physical Abuse In Marriage
In Islam, the marriage of a man and a woman is not just a financial and physical arrangement of living together but a sacred contract, a gift of Allah, to lead a happy, enjoyable life and continue the lineage. The main goal of marriage in Islam is the realization of tranquility and compassion between the spouses.
The relationship between the spouses should be based on tranquility, love, and mercy. These three summarize the ideals of Islamic marriage. It is the duty of the husband and wife to see that they are a source of comfort and tranquility for each other.
While the meaning of physical abuse is rather obvious, the meaning of emotional abuse might not be, and the abuse itself may be more insidious. Emotional abuse includes name-calling, belittling, using the threat of divorce as a weapon to manipulate the other, threatening with a real weapon (even with no intention to use it). There may be other elements such as not allowing the wife to visit or contact family or friends. Even frequent teasing, though it starts in fun, may become a type of abuse if it takes the form of sarcasm or demeaning remarks.
It is common for some people when they are angry to call others names or belittle them. If one gets angry quickly and easily with one’s spouse, it could lead to emotional abuse. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to control our anger, not to call each other names, not to use vulgar language, and not to point a weapon at another person. This advice was general for all, but it should be taken even more seriously within a marriage.
These general guidelines are established by the Qur’an in the following verses: “O ye who believe! Let not a folk deride (ridicule) a folk who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another nor insult one another by nicknames. Bad is the name of lewdness after faith. And whoso turneth not in repentance, such are evil-doers. O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” (Al-Hujurat: 11-12)
Moreover, Prophet Mohammad (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam – may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ?It is not lawful for a Muslim to scare his fellow Muslim.? (Reported by Ahmad & Abu Dawud)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam) also said: ?None of you should point his weapon at his brother, as Satan may provoke him (to hurt his brother) and as a result, he would fall into a pit of Fire.? (Reported by al-Bukhari) In another version: ?He who (even) points at his brother with a piece of iron is cursed by the angels until he puts it down, even if the other was his blood brother.? (Reported by Muslim)
“Emotional abuse truly damages and hurts as much as physical abuse does. In Islam, there is a special consideration of the relationship between the spouses. Allah says, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Ar-Rum 21)
It is shown that the basis of the relationship between husband and wife is affection and mercy. In many Hadiths, the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam) mentioned that if a husband looks at his wife with kindness and mercy, Allah Almighty looks at them with His mercy, and if they shake hands all their sins vanish. So, we have to study very well how the Prophet (peace SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam) dealt with his wives. In fact, he was very merciful, kind, and loveable, bearing in mind that there were some problems that they faced in their marital life but they dealt with these problems with extreme wisdom and kindness. The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam) never abused his wives either physically or emotionally.
Therefore, neither of the spouses is allowed to abuse the other emotionally. This is prohibited in Islam. If either does so, Almighty Allah will hold him or her accountable for that, and they should repent to Allah for this. It is clear now that the best guide to us to live a very successful marital life is to follow the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam).”
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Jaheez
God’s Grace And Man’s Life
In the name of God, the Lord of Grace, the Most Merciful
It is God who sends forth the winds so that they raise clouds, whereupon He spreads them as He wills across the skies and causes them to break up so that you can see the rain issuing from within it. As soon as He causes it to fall upon whomever He wills of His servants, they rejoice, even though a short while ago, before it was sent down upon them, they had abandoned all hope. Behold, then, the effects of God’s grace: how He gives life to the earth after it had been lifeless! It is indeed He, the One who can bring the dead back to life; for He has power over all things. If We send a (scorching) wind and they see it turning yellow, they begin after that to deny the truth.
Indeed you cannot make the dead hear; and you cannot make the deaf hear your call when they turn their backs and go away. Nor can you lead the blind out of their error. You can only get those who believe in Our signs to listen; and they will then submit themselves (to God). (The Byzantines, Al-Room: 30: 48-53)
The surah now refers to various aspects of God’s grace that have telling effect on man’s life: “It is God who sends forth the winds,” in accordance with the law He has set in operation to regulate the universe and its affairs. “So that they raise clouds,” by the vapor they carry from the surface of water bodies on earth. “Whereupon He spreads them as He wills across the skies and causes them to break up,” allowing its pieces to gather and condense, accumulate in layers, or collide with one another, or send an electrical charge from one layer or piece to another. “So that you can see the rain issuing from within it,” when such clouds are heavy with rain. “As soon as He causes it to fall upon whomever He wills of His servants, they rejoice.” (Verse 48) No one knows the extent of such rejoicing better than the people for whom rain means survival. The Arabs were the first people to realize the importance of this statement because their lives depended on rain. Their poetry and folk stories mention it with hope and endearment.
“Even though a short while ago, before it was sent down upon them, they had abandoned all hope.” (Verse 49) This describes their condition before the rain. In fact, the rain changes their condition completely, from despair to hope and rejoicing. “Behold, then, the effects of God’s grace.” You see these effects in people’s faces as they brighten up after being gloomy with despair, in the quickening earth, and in the liveliness affecting all.
“Behold, then, the effects of God’s grace: how He gives life to the earth after it had been lifeless!” (Verse 50) This is a fact that needs no more than that we look and reflect. It is given here as evidence confirming the resurrection when people are brought back to life. This is consistent in the Qur’anic argument where universal images and facts of life are given as substantial evidence: “It is indeed He the One who can bring the dead back to life; for He has power over all things. (Verse 50) We need only to look at the effects of God’s grace on the earth to be certain of the truth of this eventuality and the fulfillment of this promise.
The surah then describes the feelings of those very people who are happy at seeing the wind carrying water and who rejoice as they see rain bringing God’s grace. What would they feel, however, if they saw the winds as yellowish in color carrying dust and sand? Such winds destroy fields and livestock, or cause plants to dry and wither: “If We send a (scorching) wind and they see it turning yellow, they begin after that to deny the truth.” (Verse 51) Rather than submitting to God’s will and praying to Him earnestly to remove their affliction, they deny the truth out of frustration and despair. This is the status of people who do not believe in God or His will, of people who cannot discern God’s wisdom in what He decides, and cannot appreciate that it is God’s hand that determines everything in the universe, ensuring harmony between all its events and situations.
Thus the surah describes the fluctuation of people’s desires, their inability to benefit by God’s signs that they see in the universe around them, and their failure to recognize God’s wisdom behind life’s events. It then addresses the Prophet consoling him for not being able to persuade many of them to follow divine guidance. It tells him that this is due to their nature and blindness, which he can never cure.
“Indeed you cannot make the dead hear; and you cannot make the deaf hear your call when they turn their backs and go away. Nor can you lead the blind out of their error. You can only get those who believe in Our signs to listen; and they will then submit themselves (to God).”
The surah shows them to be lifeless, deaf, and blind, devoid of motion, hearing, and sight. They have isolated themselves from the world around them and thus they are unable to understand the universal laws affecting it. Hence, they have no more than animal life, or even less. An animal is guided by its nature, which rarely lets it down. By contrast, a person who does not respond to God’s revelations despite its powerful effect on hearts and minds is deaf even though he may have ears that hear. Similarly, the one who does not see God’s signs placed everywhere in the world around him is blind, even though he may have functioning eyes.
“You can only get those who believe in Our signs to listen; and they will then submit themselves (to God).” These are the ones who listen to the divine message because they have active minds and hearts, as well as sound understanding. When they listen to the divine message, they realize that it is the truth and they declare their submission to Him. They only need their nature be alerted, and they respond.
Mualij Ka Maqam Aur Zimmedariyan
When They Take an Oath by Allah, They Are Responded By Allah That It Is Fulfilled
Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 49, Number 866:
Narrated Anas: Ar-Rabi, the daughter of An-Nadr broke the tooth of a girl, and the relatives of Ar-Rabi’ requested the girl’s relatives to accept the Irsh (compensation for wounds etc.) and forgive (the offender), but they refused. So, they went to the Prophet who ordered them to bring about retaliation. Anas bin An-Nadr asked, “O Allah”; Apostle! Will the tooth of Ar-Rabi’ be broken? No, by Him Who has sent you with the Truth, her tooth will not be broken.” The Prophet said, “O Anas! Allah”; law ordains retaliation.” Later the relatives of the girl agreed and forgave her. The Prophet said, “There are some of Allah’s slaves who, if they take an oath by Allah, are responded to by Allah i.e. their oath is fulfilled). Anas added, “The people agreed and accepted the Irsh.”
Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 49, Number 866:
Ar-Rabi, the daughter of An-Nadr who was a young girl had broken a tooth of another girl and the other girl’s relatives had asked for retaliation instead of compensation
Here a few points noting, The Holy Prophet Muhammed Salalaahu Alaihi wasallam took an OATH that the young girl’s tooth will not be broken
“No, by Him Who has sent you with the Truth, her tooth will not be broken”
and later than it so happened that the relatives of the other girl agreed to take money instead of retaliation after the Holy Prophet took the OATH by Allah, so the Holy Prophet Muhammed Salalaahu Alaihi wasallam’s OATH was fulfilled, and then he said
“There are some of Allah’s slaves who, if they take an oath by Allah, are responded to by Allah i.e. their oath is fulfilled)”
Fazail E Hajj
Friday Prayer
[Transmitted by Abu Dawud]
The Friday prayer in congregation is a necessary duty for every Muslim, with four exceptions; a slave, a woman, a (young) boy, and a sick person.
[Transmitted by Sahih Bukhari]
“When it is a Friday, the angels stand at the gate of the mosque and keep on writing the names of the persons coming to the mosque in succession according to their arrivals. The example of the one who enters the mosque in the earliest hour is that of one offering a camel (in sacrifice). The one coming next is like one offering a cow and then a ram and then a chicken and then an egg respectively. When the Imam comes out (for Jumua prayer) they (i.e. angels) fold their papers and listen to the Khutba.”
[Transmitted by Abu Dawud]
Friday is divided into twelve hours. Amongst them, there is an hour in which a Muslim does not ask Allah for anything but He gives it to him. So seek it in the last hour after the afternoon prayer.
[Transmitted by Abu Dawud]
He who leaves the Friday prayer (continuously) for three Friday on account of slackness, Allah will print a stamp on his heart.
[Transmitted by Sahih Muslim]
He who took a bath and then came for Jumu’ah prayer and then prayed what was fixed for him, then kept silence till the Imam finished the sermon, and then prayed along with him, his sins between that time and the next Friday would be forgiven, and even of three days more.
Barkat Kyon Nahi Hoti
Racing The Imam In Prayer
Congregational prayer is one of the most important aspects of Islamic worship. It helps to bring people in the same locality together so that they would know each other and establish friendly and close relations. Moreover, their frequent meetings at prayer times give them a chance to learn more of one another’s work and what they can provide. Thus, they will seek to get what they need from within their own neighborhood. Furthermore, congregational prayer instills discipline within the community. When people take instructions from the imam during worship, which is a bond between each individual and God, they learn the value of discipline in their lives.
Stressing the importance of discipline in prayer, the Prophet (peace be upon him) says, as quoted by Abu Hurayrah: “When a person lifts his head before the imam, does he not fear that God will make his head like that of a donkey, or that He will make him look like a donkey?” (Related by al-Bukhari).
This is the strongest form used by the Prophet to emphasize the importance of following the imam in all actions, and not to go ahead of him. The Prophet said: “I am your imam. Therefore, do not go before me in bowing, prostration or standing up.” He also said: “An imam is appointed so that he is followed.” However, people are often impatient. When the Prophet noticed that his admonition in this respect has not given its desired results, he stated the hadith we are discussing, warning of a stern punishment on the Day of Judgement. Thus, a person who races the imam in prayer runs the risk of having a changed shape marking him out among all people. We should emphasize here that this is merely a warning, and it does not follow that everyone who does not abide by the order to follow the imam will be changed in form. Such a person, however, exposes himself to this risk.
A question arises here about the validity of the prayer when a person moves ahead of the imam in congregational prayer. Scholars have expressed different views, going into considerable detail. They agree that it is forbidden to precede the imam in any action. Everyone in the congregation is required to follow the imam, not to precede him. It is indeed reprehensible to do any movement or say any words of the prayer at the same time as the imam, except for the first takbeer, which signals the beginning of the prayer.
What worshippers in the congregation are required to do is to follow the imam. When he signals a move, they make it shortly after he has signaled it, and before he has gone to the next move. If a person delays moving until the imam has completed the next action and went into the following one, then that person’s prayer is invalid. To explain: We stand to read the Quran, then bow, then stand up again, then go into prostration. If the imam bows and stands up while someone in the congregation remains standing because he wants to finish his recitation, then that person’s prayer is invalid. If he bows when the imam is still bowing, his prayer remains valid but his action is not correct. He should follow the imam.
A violation of this instruction that is often done by worshippers occurs in the last prostration. The imam signals moving to the last sitting for tashahhud. Yet we see people remaining in prostration for a whole minute or longer. This is absolutely wrong and they run the risk of making their prayer invalid.
– by Adil Salahi