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October 2025

Preventing The Girlfriend – Boyfriend Relationship

Zina (fornication) has become a commonplace occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how such a situation occurs when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key’. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of “no boyfriend” when their daughters reach puberty.

The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend or boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to instill into our children at an early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if someone smites them? Hence, we must teach our children that a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-mehram only when they are married. Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.

At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of premarital relationships. We need to make them understand that pre-marital relationships are like extramarital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or ‘an affair’.

It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes desires that, once allowed free rein, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, and sexually transmitted diseases – the list goes on.

What Makes A Woman Of Jannah?

“They will have whatever they wish therein (Paradise) and with Us is more” (Surah Qaf 50:35).

The woman of Jannah is one who has the following qualities:
1. She is a Muslimah: She readily, willingly, and cheerfully submits to Allah’s commands. She does not question the wisdom of the Shariah. “Men have charge over women,” says Allah. The woman of wonder does not believe in “gender equality, etc.” and does not suffer from an inferior complex, as she is fully aware that in her role as a home executive, she gains the Pleasure of Allah Ta`ala.

2. She is a Mu’minah: Filled with Iman from head to toe, her faith is unshakable. Her quest and mission in life: to perfect her Iman and serve her husband.

3. She is Contented: The woman of Jannah is more than contented with her lot. She craves not an iota nor a drop of the Dunya. She does not waste her time roaming in malls, etc., as this does not enthrall her.

4. She is Truthful: Truthfulness is her trademark. In intention, in speech and deed, the woman of wonder is truthful to Allah and His Rasul (Sallallahu alayhi Wasallam). She is loyal to her husband. She detests falsehood, hypocrisy, and pretence.

5. She has Sabr: The woman of Jannah is a mountain of Sabr. She has accepted Sabr as her lot, since her desire is to enter Jannah. Sabr with her husband, Sabr with in-laws, Sabr with children, Sabr in overseeing the affairs of her home. Sabr, yes, Sabr – lots and lots of it.

In Tests And Trials There Are Lessons

Praise be to Allah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil of our own souls and our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The First Lesson
From the benefit of tests and trials is the influence it has on one’s Tawhid (worship of Allah), Iman (faith), and Tawakkul – reliance upon Allah. It makes you examine the reality that man is a weak creation without any power or strength, except in your Lord. Therefore, you resort to Him and depend on Him. Thereupon arrogance, false pride, and negligence will be removed, and you will come to know that you are really poor and in need of your Creator, the Almighty, the Most Perfect, and so you resort to Him.

The Second Lesson
Tests unravel the reality of this life. It is clarified to be a temporary stay for enjoyment, and the perfect life is the one that follows, wherein there is no toil, worry, fatigue, or disease.

And this life of the world is only amusement and play! Verily, the home of the Hereafter – that is the life indeed (i.e., the eternal life that will never end), if they but knew. [Noble Quran 29:64]

Even with this amusement and play, there is also toil and fatigue. This is the reality of this life – one day life is smiling at you, and the other day it is turning its back on you. This is the nature of life, but man forgets that. The trials and tests come, and they serve to remind man of the nature of this life and that he should not become attached to it.

The Third Lesson
The tests and trials remind the person of the favors bestowed upon him by Allah. It is also a reminder that this life is transitional.

The Fourth Lesson
We are reminded to avoid being in a state of joy such that we feel arrogance, and likewise to prevent a state of sadness and grief such that one feels despair.

No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves, but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfouz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah. In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not every prideful boaster. [Noble Quran 57:22-23]

The Fifth Lesson
Trials and tests remind the person of his shortcomings and diseases (of the heart and actions) so that he can take preventive measures against them.

Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself. And We have sent you (O Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him) as a Messenger to mankind, and Allah is Sufficient as a Witness. [Noble Quran 4:79]

And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much. [Noble Quran 42:30]

And verily, We will make them taste of the near torment (i.e., the torment in the life of this world, i.e., disasters, calamities) prior to the supreme torment (in the Hereafter), in order that they may (repent and) return (i.e., accept Islam). [Noble Quran 32:21]

This lesser torment is in this life, which is full of calamities, disasters, and hardships.

The Sixth Lesson
Tests and trials serve as great teaching processes through which one learns patience. We cannot be firm upon truth and obedience except with patience, and we cannot stay away from falsehood and disobedience except with patience and perseverance. We cannot walk the paths of this life except with patience regarding the pre-ordinance of Allah. The outcome is Jannat al-Qulb war-Ridwan – the endless bliss in Paradise and the Pleasure of Allah.

But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter, i.e., Paradise, and of a high moral character) in this world. [Noble Quran 41:35]

By Dr. Saleh as-Saleh

Virtues Of Congregational Prayers

Performing the (obligatory) prayers in congregation is mandatory and required of every believing adult male who has no excuse for not doing so.

{And those who remain patient, seeking their Lord’s Countenance, perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and spend out of that which We have bestowed on them, secretly and openly, and defend evil with good, for such there is a good end} [Surah Al-Rad: 22]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Offering the prayer in congregation carries 27 times greater reward than offering it alone individually.” [Bukhari, Muslim]

Ibn Masud (May Allâh be pleased with him) reported: He who likes to meet Allah tomorrow (i.e., on the Day of Requital) as a Muslim, should take care and observe the Salat when the Adhan is announced for them. Allah has expounded to your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) the ways of right guidance, and these (the prayers) are part of the right guidance. If you have to perform Salat in your houses, as this man who stays away (from the mosque) and performs Salat in his house, you will abandon the Sunnah (practice) of your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and the departure from the Sunnah of your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)will lead you astray. I have seen the time when no one stayed behind except a well-known hypocrite. I also saw that a man was brought swaying (on account of weakness) between two men till he was set up in a row (in the masjid).
Muslim (Book 04, chapter 85, # 1376)

This Hadith makes the following four points:
1. Emphasis on performing Salat in congregation.
2. The passion of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) for Salat.
3. Evasion(avoidance) from Salat with congregation is a practice of hypocrites.
4. Inducement for following the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) because evasion from it is bound to lead one astray.

Being Sad Is Not Encouraged In Our Religion

So do not become weak [against] your enemy, nor be sad… (Quran 3: 139)

And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot. (Quran 16: 127)

Be not sad, surely Allah is with us. (Quran 9: 40)

Referring to true believers, Allah informs us that: Upon such shall come no fear, nor shall they grieve. (Quran 2: 38)

Sadness enervates the souls will to act and paralyzes the body into inactivity. Sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart benefits nothing through grief; the most beloved thing to the Devil is to make the worshiper sad in order to prevent him from continuing on his path. Allah, the Exalted, says: *Secret counsels [conspiracies] are only from Shaitan [Satan], in order that he may cause grief to the believers. (Quran 58: 10)

In the following hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) said: “In a company of three, it is forbidden for two to hold secret counsel to the exclusion of the third, since doing so will be a cause of sadness for him.”

Contrary to what some believe (those who have an extreme ascetic bent), the believer should not seek out sadness, because sadness is a harmful condition that afflicts the soul. The Muslim must repel sadness and fight it in any way that is permissible in our Religion.

There is no real benefit to sadness; the Prophet (PBUH) sought refuge from it in the following supplication: “O Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief.”

Grief is coupled with anxiety in this hadith. The difference between the two is that if a bad feeling is related to what is going to happen in the future. Then one is feeling anxiety. And if the cause of this feeling concerns the past, then one is feeling grief both weakens the heart, causing inactivity and a decrease in will power.

Despite what has been mentioned above, grief may sometimes be both inevitable and necessary. When they enter Paradise, its dwellers will say: All the praises and thanks be to Allah, Who has removed from us [all] grief. (Quran 35: 34)

This verse implies that they were afflicted with grief in this life, just as they were afflicted with other forms of hardship, both of which were out of their control. So whenever one is overcome by grief and there is no way to avoid it, one is rewarded, because grief is a form of hardship, and the believer is rewarded for going through hardship. Nonetheless, the believer must ward off grief with supplication and other practical means.

“Whatever befalls the believer in terms of anxiety, hardship, or grief, Allah will remove his sin.”

It indicates that grief is a trial with which the believer is afflicted, and through which some of his sins are atoned for. However, it does not indicate that grief is something to be sought after; the believer should not seek out means of finding grief, thinking that he is performing an act of worship.

And as for the alleged hadith, “Verily, Allah loves all sad hearts,” the chain of its narrators is unknown, so it is not an authentic hadith, especially in view of the fact that the basic principles of our religion are contrary to it.

In this verse, Allah says of his Prophet Israaeel (Israel): And he lost his sight because of the sorrow that he was suppressing. (Quran 12: 84)

Here we are informed of his grief over losing his beloved son. Simply informing about something does not in itself signify either approval or disapproval of that thing. The fact is that we have been ordered to seek refuge from sadness, as it is a heavy cloud that hangs above its victim, and is a barrier that prevents one from advancing to higher aims.

There is no doubt that sadness is a trial and a hardship, and is in some ways similar to sickness. However, it is not a stage, level, or condition that the pious should actively seek out.