Most Muslims in Eastern countries employ domestic staff as a norm. For some, domestic helpers are a priceless resource who significantly ease our day-to-day chores. Conversely, for others, they can be a source of distress and chagrin.
Many women complain to each other about the trouble they face from the incompetence, treachery, and intentional misdemeanor of their servants. However, we need to remind ourselves that it is in managing our helpers according to Islamic injunctions that the secret lies to get the best out of them.
- Think of their pay as Sadaqah
We need to change the way we view our servants’ wages. By considering it an “expense,” we tend to extract the “full value” of the money. For instance, even if a maid is sick, her employer might say, “I pay her to work, so she must work.” But if we consider the salary a “Sadaqah” that helps fill their bellies, we will In Sha Allah be more tolerant of their shortcomings as human beings.
- Counsel them when they need it
You might notice that your domestic helpers are disturbed on some days. They are human beings who have problems and worries just like us. Ask them what is troubling them; then advise them to have patience and hope in Allah’s mercy. Keep the counsel short, but show them that you care.
- Forgive and forget their mistakes
Just like other human relationships, it is not pleasant to have your past mistakes and wrongs thrown in your face repeatedly. Forgive them for the sake of Allah if they wrong you, and do not be harsh when scolding them.
- Do not accuse them of stealing, cheating, or lying on mere suspicion
Many employers are guilty of this unfair action – as soon as something in the house is missing due to their own absentmindedness, the domestic helper is squarely accused of theft or negligence.
“O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin.” (Qur’an, 49:12)
Ask them normally if they have seen the missing object, but do not accuse them of theft or misplacement. In most cases, the object is eventually found after the maid has been fired, causing guilt and embarrassment to the employer for life.
- Informally teach them Islamic manners and knowledge
One of the rights of our domestic helpers upon us is that they are taught about Islam, or given its message if they are non-Muslims. Without being overtly ‘preachy’, give them small doses of the truth. The best way is to act upon Islam yourself. This will eventually make them love and respect you for the sake of Allah – which results in a sincere relationship devoid of mistrust and treachery.
- Eat with them occasionally without separating utensils
Domestic helpers are not animals. Some people treat them as if they are unhygienic beings from another planet. Allow them to use the utensils from which you and your family eat. If they have dirty habits, teach them hygiene. But do not separate their utensils as if they are untouchables. This will make them feel insulted. They will never return an insult with loyalty or obedience.

