Author: Syeda Muneeba Masood

Assalam o Alaikum,
Dear Brothers & Sisters in Islam

Islam has given equal rights to men and women. Marriage is one of the very important and sensitive decisions of one’s life. Islam has given a glad tiding to women that marriage without the consent of a woman is invalid (Haram). Therefore it is necessary for the parents, guardian, or family members to seek permission from the woman before making or finalizing her marriage bond.

After 1425 years of Islam, still we see many illiterate families which are following the so-called cultures of their ancestors and do not bother to ask girls before tying them into a marriage bond. Such negligence causes a lot of grievances in their own families and society; such marriages have a poor end!

Marriage of a minor girl (who is not an adult) can be performed without her consent. But after she becomes an adult, she can cancel the marriage relationship.

Before Islam, it was a usual practice to take over the woman whose husband would die. But Islam forbade this practice. In Muslim rural areas and villages of the Subcontinent, it is still a practice to kill the woman as soon as her husband dies. This custom is called ‘Karo Kaari’. In these areas, widow woman is considered to be a blaspheme. Islamic Dawah organizations should visit these areas and teach their residents about the Islamic wisdom where a woman is still deprived of false pagan traditions much resembling Hinduism.

Narrated Ibn Abbas: regarding the Divine Verse: “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness that you may take back part of the (Mahr) dower you have given them.” (4.19) (Before this revelation) if a man died, his relatives used to have the right to inherit his wife, and one of them could marry her if he would, or they would give her in marriage if they wished, or, if they wished, they would not give her in marriage at all, and they would be more entitled to dispose of her, than her own relatives. So the above Verse was revealed in this connection.  (Book #60, Hadith #103)

Parents, guardians, and family members should take the woman and girls in confidence so that can freely inform their consent to them. Sometimes women and girls are so forced to show their positive consent that they remain quiet because of fear of their families and their families think that they agree. The woman and girls who are reading this article should be aware of the rights Islam has granted them. If you are quiet because of your agreed consent then it is fine but if you do not agree to a proposal then speak; because silence is considered to be permission.

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her, and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! How can we know her permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her permission).”  (Book #62, Hadith #67)

Matron is a woman who had been married once. Just like the consent of a virgin girl is necessary, a matron’s consent is also necessary.

Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya: that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah’s Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.  (Book #62, Hadith #69)

Allah Haafiz