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How Islam Tackles Old Age Concerns

A typical impression about old age, the last and the seventh stage of the eventful biography of man in general, according to Jaques of Shakespeare’s As You Like It, has been conjured up in these words:

The last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

The final phase of human existence is marked by a return to infantile weaknesses, a loss of the undercurrent that preserves a sense of identity against a background of turbulent and radical changes, and a tragic depletion of non-renewable resources that energize connectivity with nature. This phenomenon of the reversal of creation (Qur’an, 36:68) or of the obliteration of what was intellectually acquired (16:70) that is collateral to old age has figured in the Prophet’s teachings.

Old Age: Phase I
Old age has two phases. The phase in which the physical and mental powers have not suffered much decline is a highly respected phase. Prophet Abraham, his wife, Sarah, Moses’ father-in-law, and Zachariah (may all of them be peace) reached this stage. Zachariah describes the characteristics of this phase, ‘My bones have grown feeble and the hair of my head glistens with grey.’ (19:3). Reaching this phase after years of dedication to God is a Divine blessing. Such a person is blessed with insight, experience, and wisdom and he is looked up to with reverence for guidance and counseling. This age becomes an asset and a qualification for leading congregational prayers. It entitles the person to a certain advantage over men of youth, as he would have earned more merit through a higher volume of service and dedication to God. The social culture of Muslims is characterized by esteem for the aged and affection for the youngsters.

The esteem, reserved for old age, will be seriously compromised if it is tainted with errant behavior. Any major sin in this age sounds like the death knell of such esteem. Having lived up to this age, one must spare time and thought to examine if life had been lived properly. One must make an earnest effort first to seek Divine guidance and then to live by it. If the long life given by God is not utilized to secure God’s pleasure, one exposes one’s self to God’s anger.

Sometimes esteem for old age tends to get exaggerated. People begin to conform blindly to the traditions of yore on the ground that the wisdom of the elders is behind them and this unexamined conformity obliges one to turn a deaf ear to the plea of the revealed scripture to prefer Divine wisdom to the elders’ wisdom.

Old Age: Phase II
Old age has another phase in which amnesia and other weaknesses emerge with a devastating force. An old man then becomes a poem of pity and an embodiment of utter helplessness. His children are inclined to look upon him as an undesirable liability. The Qur’an advises them (children) to suppress their annoyance and to reinforce their kindness and devotion towards their old parents.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) wanted to avoid this phase of old age. His prayer was: ‘O Allah I seek refuge in You from idleness and old age.’

Caliph Umar said, ‘The Prophet sought refuge from five things: cowardice, miserliness, old age, narrow-mindedness, and punishment in the grave.’

Anecdotes from the Prophet’s life
There are several anecdotes in the Prophet’s life that bring out the enlightened nature and perennial value of his teachings. One of the daughters of his closest friend, Abu Bakr was Asma. Her mother visited Madina to see her.

Asma sought the Prophet’s advice with regard to the type of welcome that she must extend to her non-Muslim mother. The Prophet’s advice was, ‘Treat your mother with all the courtesy due to her.’

In Musannaf Abdur Razzaq, it is reported that a person complained to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that his father was demanding money from him. The Prophet urged him to oblige his father. The son represented again that his father made demands over everything that he had. The Prophet’s advice to him was not to disobey his old parents even if they demanded a whole lot from him.

Another anecdote is more graphic. A son complained to Prophet (peace be upon him) that his father was taking away his money as and when he pleased The father was sent for. He came leaning on his walking stick. He was very old and weak. He explained to the Prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah! There was a time when my son was weak and dependent. At that time I was strong and rich. My son was penniless; I never denied him anything that he wanted. Today I am penniless and he is affluent. But he is keeping his money beyond my reach.’ On hearing this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was moved to tears and he informed the son, ‘You and your money belong to your father.’

The Prophet practiced what he preached. Abu Talib, his non-Muslim paternal uncle, stood by him through thick and thin, and thus he had a very deep attachment to him. On account of this attachment, he devoutly wished that Abu Talib should die as a Muslim. But it was not to be.

Abu Tufail narrates, ‘I watched the Prophet (peace be upon him) distributing flesh at J’araana. Meanwhile, a woman appeared and approached him. The Prophet spread his shawl for her and she sat upon it. On inquiry, I learned she was Halima who had the privilege of suckling him.’

The Prophet (peace be upon him) sent back many of his followers who came to pledge themselves for migration and for Jihad and asked them to serve their old parents and to keep them cheerful and said that they would get the reward from God for their intention to migrate and to take part in Jihad.

A distinguished companion of the Prophet (peace be upon him) complained that in one day’s Fajr Prayer, there was a lack of concentration. In the discussion that followed it came to the light mat he had overtaken an old Jew while proceeding toward the mosque. This was considered an inadvertent act of disrespect to old age.

The Prophet did not consider it infra dig to minister to the needs of the aged. An old lady was struggling to carry a heavy burden. The Prophet (peace be upon him) volunteered to carry the burden for her and to accompany her. On the way, the old lady told him she was leaving the place to escape from the influence of a man, called Muhammad, who was preaching a new religion in which idolatry and polytheism were not permitted.

The lady was very impressed by the Prophet’s courtesy and helping attitude. She advised him to shun the new preacher. The Prophet (peace be upon him) disclosed to her that he was the person from whom she was trying to escape. The old lady realized her folly and declared her allegiance to Islam.

Once an old lady sought an audience with the Prophet and on securing it she requested him to pray to Allah to admit her to Paradise. He remarked humorously that old ladies were barred from Heaven.

Failing to comprehend the humor in his statement, she was emotionally perturbed and started to retrace her steps. Then it was brought home to her that old person would be transformed into young people before they gained entry into Heaven. She must have been relieved beyond measure after the initial shock to learn that she would not only be admitted to Heaven but also regain her heavenly youth.

Even in parables, the Prophet (peace be upon him) addressed the concerns of old age. In a parable of three travelers that he narrated, the first one was a dutiful son. Along with two other travelers he took shelter in a cave to escape from inclement weather but all of a sudden a rock rolled down and sealed the mouth of the cave. It was a situation that desperately demanded Divine intervention. So each traveler sought God’s help by invoking a good deed done exclusively to secure God’s pleasure.

The first traveler’s story is as follows: O Allah! My parents were too old and my children were too small. I eked my livelihood by tending sheep. One day I returned home late. My parents had gone to sleep. As it was my wont, I secured milk from the sheep.

Carrying it in a bowl, I went to my parent’s bed. It was not proper on my part to wake them up; it was also not proper on my part to give milk to my children without serving it to my parents. Clinging to my legs, my children cried for milk. I steeled my heart and turned a deaf ear to their cries. Tired of crying my children went to sleep. I stood there with the bowl of milk in my hands until the rose-fingered dawn peeped through the window. O, Allah! I waited on my old parents in order to secure your pleasure only. Through the blessing of this act of mine, I request that the rock be moved a little so that the sky could be seen through the gap. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that in reply to this prayer, God moved the rock a little and the sky was seen.

The sunset of life
Old age is the sunset of life when the orb of flame loses its heat and illuminating power and slowly sinks into the liquid bosom of oblivion and conceals its shame of privation. The frightening prospect of surging darkness urgently requires the reassurance of Divine help. The following invocation meets that requirement: ‘O Lord! Make your provisions large and abundant for me, when my age is advanced and when my end draws near.’

The attitude that the Prophet (peace be upon him) so painstakingly inculcated among his followers towards old age is reflected in the conduct of his revered companions.

His Caliphs issued instructions to the effect that during the state of war, old men should be spared along with priests, women, and children. Caliph Umar introduced an old age pension for both Muslim and non-Muslim citizens of the Islamic State. Abu Hurairah advised a young man as follows:

‘Do not address your father by his name; do not walk ahead of him; and do not take your seat before he is seated.’

In fact, the mercy that the Prophet (peace be upon him) symbolized encompassed the concerns of the old people with exemplary and loving care.

Ibn Abbas’s Debate With Extremists

Abdullah Ibn Abbas narrates his debate when he approached the Khawaarij:

“I have come to you from the companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), from the Muhajireen and the Ansar, so that I may inform you of what they say.

The Qur’an was sent down upon them. And they are more knowledgeable concerning the revelation than you, and it was revealed amongst them. And none of them are amongst you.”

So some of them said, “Let us speak with him and let us see what he says.” I said, “Inform me of that which you harbor against the son of the uncle of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and his son-in-law (Ali), the Muhajireen and the Ansar.”

They said, “Three issues.” I asked, “What are they?” They said, “As for the first of them, then he (Ali) has allowed men to judge in the affair of Allah, yet Allah said,

“…The judgement is for none but Allah…” (Qur’an, 12:40)

So it is not for men and it is not for judges.”

So I asked, “This is only one issue.”

They said, ‘As for the other issues, then he fought his enemies, yet he did not take any prisoners or war booty. So if those whom he fought were disbelievers, then their imprisonment and war booty has been made lawful. And if they were believers, then fighting them is not permissible.”

I said, “These are only two issues, so what is the third?”

They said, “Indeed, he erased the title, ‘Leader of the Believers’ from himself, so therefore he is the leader of the disbelievers.” I said, “Do you have anything besides this?” They said, “This is sufficient for us.”

So I said to them, “Do you hold that if I recite to you from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace be upon him), that which refutes your statement, that you will obey?”

They said, “Yes!” So I said, “As for your statement that he has allowed men to judge concerning from the affair of Allah, then I shall recite to you that which shows that Allah relegated His judgment to men.

Allah the Mighty and Majestic has said concerning the woman and her husband,

” If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her’s; if they both wish for peace, Allâh will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allâh is Ever All-­Knower, Well­-Acquainted with all things.” (Qur’an, 4:35)

So Allah made the judgement of the men a tradition to be believed in. So do you leave this (issue)?” They said, “Yes!”

Ibn Abbas continued, “As for your statement that he fought and he did not take prisoners, nor did he take war booty, then do you revile your mother, Ayesha? Then you must declare her lawful in that which you have declared lawful with regards to other than her! So if you were to do that, then you would become disbelievers, as she is your mother. And if you were to say that she is not our mother, then you have disbelieved. Since, Allah says,

“The Prophet is closer to the Believers than their ownselves, and his wives are their mothers…” (Qur’an, 33:6]

So you are revolving around two positions of misguidance. Regardless of which of them you adopt, you have adopted misguidance.”

So they began to look at each other. I said, “Have you left from this?” They said, “Yes!”

“And as for your statement, that he erased the title of ‘Leader of the Believers’ from his name, then I shall come to you with one whom you are pleased with and I shall see you. Indeed, you have heard that on the day of Al-Hudaybiyyah, the Prophet (peace be upon him) made a treaty with Suhayl Ibn ‘Amr and Abaa Sufyaan Ibn Harb.

So the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to the Leader of the Believers (Ali), “Write O Ali: These are the terms of peace agreed upon by Muhammad the Messenger of Allah.” So the pagans said, “No, by Allah! Had we known that you were the Messenger of Allah, we would not have fought you.”

So the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “O Allah! You know that I am the Messenger of Allah.

Write O Ali: These are the terms of peace agreed upon by Muhammad Ibn Abdullah.”(Bukhari and Muslim)

So by Allah, the Messenger of Allah was better than Ali, yet he was not removed from Prophethood when he erased the title from his name.”

Abdullah Ibn Abbas then said, “So two thousand of those people repented, and the rest were killed upon misguidance.”

– This incident has been related in Musnad Ahmad (1/342), An-Nisaa’ee in Khasaa’is Ali (no. 190), Al-Bayhaqee in as-Sunanul-Kubraa (8/179) and many others.

Allah Is Most Merciful

Allah speaks of His Mercy in numerous places in the Quran.

1) “My Mercy embraces all things” [Quran 7/156]

2) “Say (O Muhammad-PBUH) To whom belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth?” Say: “To Allah. He has prescribed Mercy for Himself.”[Quran 6/12]

3) “When those who believe in Our Ayat (proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) come to you, say: “Salamun ‘Alaikum” (peace be on you); your Lord has written (prescribed) Mercy for Himself, so that if any of you does evil in ignorance, and thereafter repents and does righteous good deeds (by obeying Allah), then surely, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran 6/54]

4) Quran has 114 Chapters you will find the phrase “ In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful”

5) “Say (O Muhammad-PBUH) “Invoke Allah or invoke the Most Gracious (Allah), by whatever name you invoke Him (it is the same), for to Him belong the Best Names.”[Quran 17/110 ]

6) “Say: “O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Quran 39/53]

7) “And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace(safety,” i.e., words free from fault or evil.)” [Quran Surah Al-Furqan 25/63]

8) “Do not commit mischief on the earth after it has been set in order, and call on Him (Allah in prayer) with fear and hope (longing desire): “for the Mercy of Allah is always near to those who do good.” [Quran Surah Al-A’raf 7/56]

9) “And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterward seeks Allah’s Forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”[Quran 4/110]

The mercy of Allah manifests itself in His overlooking the sins of the sinner when he unknowingly commits the sin and then repents. Allah’s mercy is even beyond that; Allah changes the sins of the sinner, after his sincere repentance followed by righteous deeds, to good deeds (hasanat). Allah says

10) “Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”[Quran 25/70]

Prophet Muhammed (Peace Be Upon Him ) made the utmost effort to clarify the reality of the Mercy of Allah (S.W.T.) with His servants so that Muslims will be merciful among one another and be merciful with others, and know that this mercy is the way to gain the mercy of Allah.

1) Narrated Abu Huraira (Radhi-Allah-hu ‘anhu): The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His Book which is with Him on His Throne, “My Mercy overpowers My Anger.”[Sahih Bukhari – Book: 54. Beginning of Creation, Hadith:416]

99 parts of Mercy Allah kept with Him and sent down its only 1 part on the earth
2) Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah’s Apostle says, Allah divided Mercy into one-hundred parts and He kept its ninety-nine parts with Him and sent down its one part on the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His creations are Merciful to each other, so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it.” [Bukhari Book 8 Volume 73 Hadith 29]

Disbelievers have absolutely no hope of Allah’s Mercy
1) “O my sons! Go you and enquire about Yusuf (Joseph) and his brother, and never give up hope of Allah’s Mercy. Certainly, no one despairs of Allah’s Mercy, except the people who disbelieve.” [Quran 12/87]

10 Tips On How To Be A Successful Wife

Use your ‘Fitnah’ to win the heart of your husband

All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah has bestowed on you to win the heart of your husband.

When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting

Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, and a clean bedroom – what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.

Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them

The Qur’an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with specific characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband.

Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house

From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses – as described in the Qur’an. As a wife, continue to use your jewelry and pretty dresses for your husband.

Joke and play games with your husband

A man’s secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humor. As the Prophet (peace be upon him) told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.

Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does

Then thank him again. This is one of the most essential techniques, as the opposite (ungratefulness) is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

An argument is a fire in the house

Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s be friends.”

Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us that any woman who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her shall enter Paradise. So, please him.

Listen and obey!

Obeying your husband is obligatory! Your husband is the Ameer (head) of the household. Give him that right and respect.

Make Du’a to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful

All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah for the blessing of having a successful wedding that begins in this world and continues on – by the Mercy of Allah – into Paradise.

The Virtues Of Islamic Greeting

One very simple but very important virtue we can all implement in our lives is Greeting, Islam emphasizes it as one of the most essential duties amongst Muslims, it is very beneficial for improving relations, building a stronger bond of love and brotherhood with our fellow Muslims and to cultivate good manners, not to mention the psychological factors involved in greeting someone. Islam is the most civilized way of life.

How many of us have walked past our Muslim brothers by ignoring them as we pass them across the street, pretending to have not seen them? or whenever making conversation, mailing .chatting, or sending SMS we use to convey Hi, Hey, Hello, etc. instead of Islamic Greeting.

May Allah forgive us!
Do I have to greet someone I don’t even know?

Abdullah ibn Amr reported that a man said, “Messenger of Allah, which aspect of Islam is best?” He replied, “Feeding people and greeting those you know and those you do not know.” (Bukhari)
So, yes, greet those you know as well as those you don’t know!

How to return the greeting?
Quran 4:86. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally. Certainly, Allah is Ever a Careful Account Taker of all things.”

So, if someone says
As-salaamu Alaykum (peace be upon you)
to return it with that which is better would be to say–
Wa alaykum us salaam Wa rahmatullahi
or
Wa Alaykum us salaam Wa rahmatullahi Wa barakatuhu ,and Allah knows best.
“Wa Alaykum us salaam”
(and peace be upon you)

“Wa Alaykum us salaam wa rahmatullahi”
(and peace and the mercy of Allah be upon you)
“Wa Alaykum us salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu”
(and peace and mercy of Allah and His blessings be upon you)

Who exactly should greet whom first?
“Abdur-Rahman ibn Shibl said that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The person riding should greet the person on foot. The person on foot should greet the person who is seated. The smaller group should greet the large. Whoever answers the greeting, is for him. Whoever does not answer it, has nothing.” (Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The young person greets the old person, the person walking greets the person sitting down, and the small group greets the large group.”(Bukhari)

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When one of you comes to a gathering, he should give the greeting. If he leaves, he should give the greeting. Neither is more of a duty than the other.”(Bukhari)

But, what if we are both walking?
Jabir said, “When two people walking meet, then the one who gives the greeting first is the better of them.” (Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘The one riding greets the one walking, and when one of a group of people gives a greeting, it is enough for all of them’. (Muwatta Hadith 53.1).

The Prophet, ‘Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation’. (Abu Dawood Hadith 5178).

I am sure you know that people have a very strong sense of ‘I am better than everyone else’ which is not the correct way to think, the correct way to judge is for the pleasure of Allah and gaining blessings, even though you may, or may not realize rewards in this life, be sure that Allah will reward you with good in the hereafter.

The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “It is not halal for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights, that is they meet, and this one turns away and that one turns away. The better of the two is the one who says the greeting first”. (Muwatta Hadith 47.13).

Yahya related to me from Malik from Ishaq ibn Abdullah ibn Abi Talha that at-Tufayl ibn Ubayy ibn Kaab told him that he visited Abdullah ibn Umar one morning and went out with him to the market, and when they were out, Abdullah ibn Umar did not pass by anyone selling poor merchandise or selling commodities or a needy person or anyone but that he greeted them.

Tufayl said, “I came to Abdullah ibn Umar one day and he asked me to follow him to the market. I said to him, ‘What will you do in the market if you will not stop to sell nor seeking any goods or barter with them or sit in any of the assemblies or market?’
Abdullah ibn Umar said that we should sit down and talk, and then he explained, Abu Batni, (lit. father of the belly, At Tufayl, had a prominent stomach), we go out in the morning only for the sake of the greeting. We greet whomever we meet.’ (Muwatta Hadith 53.6).

The prophet also said, ‘When one of you meets his brother, he should salute him, then if he meets him again after a tree, wall or stone has come between them, he should also salute him’. (Abu-Dawood Hadith 5181).

The Prophet, peace be upon him, commanded us to respond to the salutation of the imam and to love each other, and to salute each other. (Abu Dawood Hadith 996 Narrated by Samurah ibn Jundub).

And I finish off with an Ayah from the Quran about the inhabitants of Heaven, their greeting will be Salaam! SubhanAllah, the people of paradise will greet each other with the same greeting. So let’s try to implement this simple yet rewarding Sunnah into our lives, even if the person across the road doesn’t say it first!

Quran 14:23. And those who believed and did good works are made to enter Gardens underneath which rivers flow, therein abiding by permission of their Lord, their greeting therein, Peace!