Slander is, and has been, one of the most effective weapons of propaganda used against believers throughout history. The Qur’an alludes to this behavior when it says: “The evil-doers mock the faithful and wink at one another as they pass by them” (al- Mutaffifin: 29–30). In modern times, propaganda and psychological warfare of this kind have been much more systematic and effective.
TAG: Backbiting
Do You Possess These Seven Habits?
This talk was based on the following hadith from Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):
There are seven whom Allah will shade in His Shade on the day when there is no shade except His Shade:
1: A just ruler;
2: A youth who grew up in the worship of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic;
3: A man whose heart is attached to the mosques;
4: Two men who love each other for Allah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that;
5: A man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but he says: I fear Allah.,
6: A man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity;
7: And a man who remembered Allah in private, and so his eyes shed tears. Related by Bukhari
1. They Remember Their Sins
Some people fall into the habit of judging others by their sins while forgetting their own. They may not even think the sins they have committed are all that bad. This is a sign of a weak Muslim. A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain that he is afraid may fall on him, whereas the wicked person considers his sins as flies passing over his nose, and he just drives them away like this. Related in Bukhari
Backbiting And Slander
And why did you not, when you heard it, say? “It is not right of us to speak of this: Glory to God, this is a most serious slander” (Quran 24:16)
Islam is a religion of peace, love, and compassion. Lies, suspicion, back-biting, slander, and gossip are totally alien to Islam. In fact, they are considered among the most destructive of major sins. This is so because these sins sow enmity and discord among the Muslim Ummah and lead to its destruction. They cause hostilities between people of the same household, and between neighbors, friends, and relatives.
Islam demands that our relationship with mankind should be one of sincerity and responsibility. It should be one where we have respect for the honor, reputation, and privacy of others. Islam teaches us that we are not only held accountable for our attitudes and actions but also for anything else over which we have control or influence, in our society or the world around us.
Verses: Let’s see what the Quran states about backbiting and slander – ‘This is the Book, in it is guidance sure, without doubt, to those who fear Allah’. (2:2)
Allah has forbidden the believers from backbiting
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)
When we reflect deeply on this assimilation it should be enough to keep us away from backbiting! Do not treat the issue of Backbiting & Slander with indifference because it is a great sin
Behold, you received it on your tongues, and said out of your mouths things which you had no knowledge; and you thought it to be a light matter, while it was most serious in the sight of Allah (24: 15)
Many of us backbite and gossip without thinking. We think it is a minor matter, however, Allah reminds us to be careful and even though we think we are doing something little it is in fact huge in the sight of Allah!
Allah teaches us to speak out against Slander and try to put a stop to it
And why did you not, when you heard it, say? “It is not right of us to speak of this: Glory to Allah, this is a most serious slander” (24:16)
Many people are so busy spreading the slander they hear that they do not even stop thinking if it is true. Shaitan (Satan) wants us to use our tongues to create conflict and hatred.
Say to My servants that they should only say those things that are best, for Satan does sow dissensions among them, for Satan is to man an avowed enemy. (17:53)
Are we falling into Shaitan’s (Satan’s) trap? We can all analyze ourselves.
Hadiths: Let’s see what Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said about Backbiting in the hadiths.
Allah states in the Quran – You have indeed in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern of conduct. (33:21)
The Definition Of Backbiting And Slander
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said: “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)
We should guard our tongue from sins and use our limbs in acts of obedience
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said: “Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
The Definition Of The Best Muslim
“I asked the Messenger of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him): Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of Allah(Peace Be Upon Him) replied, “He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands.” (Muslim)
Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is also a form of backbiting. We need to beware of the slipping of our tongues
“When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear Allah as regards us for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked.’” (At-Tirmidhee)
Summary
Backbiting and slander are so widespread that it has become the topic of people’s meetings and an avenue for expressing their anger, misgivings, and jealousy. Those who indulge in backbiting are oblivious to the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because of the fact that on the Day of Resurrection, both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allah, Who is the Just Judge, Allah will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him by his wrong by backbiting.
Some situations allow us to inform others of what someone has done. It is allowed for us to inform the authorities when someone does injustice to us or others. It is allowed for us to inform someone who can help a perpetrator from committing further vice. It is also permissible for us to tell whoever seeks our advice on a person for business dealings or marriage. In this case, it is not allowed for us to hide what we know about the person so that the enquirer will not be deceived. All these types of speaking about others are lawful.
Islam teaches us that if people are being ridiculed or backbited in our presence, we should defend their honor. If we neglect this, we shall deprive ourselves of ever-needed help and mercy from Allah – If a man’s Muslim brother is slandered in his presence, and he is capable of defending him and does so, Allah will defend him in this world and the next. But if he fails to defend him, Allah will destroy him in this world and the next. (Baghawi). What will we do the next time we are tempted to backbite or hear slander in our presence? Right now the choice is ours!
We ask Allah the Most High, the All Powerful, to teach us that which will benefit us, and to benefit us by that which we learn. May Allah grant blessings and peace to our Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) and his family and companions.
Safeguard Yourself From Sin
When looking at the meaning of fasting, most of us think it only entails the apparent conditions of not eating or drinking and not having sexual relations from sunrise to sunset. However, there are certain hidden etiquettes of fasting as well which must be respected and obeyed. The hidden etiquettes are that all parts of the body must be prevented from committing acts that are against the laws of Shariah. Only then can we truly benefit from the blessings of fasting and only then will we be successful in receiving the reward of becoming pious, as Allah Ta’ala says “O Believers! Fasting has been made obligatory upon you as were made obligatory upon those before you, so
that you may become pious. [Surah 2, Verse 183]” Therefore, let us study the fast of the parts of the body and try to act upon them.
It is essential to safeguard the tongue from sinning by lying, backbiting, using vulgar language, etc. Lying is a grave sin that destroys the reward for fasting. We should always refrain from lying but it is especially critical to stay away from lying in the month of Ramadan because if we lie whilst we are fasting, then we have defeated the purpose of
fasting. Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “If a person does not refrain from lying, then Allah Ta’ala does not need for him to give up his food and drink.” [Bukhari Shareef ]
Backbiting is a sin that many of us commit daily, often without realizing it. During the time of Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), two ladies were fasting but became so thirsty that they feared for their lives. Finally, they asked Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) for permission to break the fast. Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) sent a bowl to them and told them to vomit everything that they had eaten into the bowl. They did as they were told and their vomit contained running blood and clots of blood also. The people were astonished at seeing this and Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, “These two women ate Sehri with those things that Allah Ta’ala has made lawful, but then broke their fast with something that has been made unlawful by Allah Ta’ala; in other words, they remained busy in backbiting.” Remember, backbiting is such an evil sin that Allah Ta’ala has compared it to ‘eating the meat of your dead brother.’ Allah Ta’ala states in the Holy Qur’an, “…and do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abominate it… [Surah 49, Verse 12]” Therefore, we must always, and especially in the month of Ramadan, attempt to refrain from backbiting or speaking ill of others.
It is essential to safeguard the ears from hearing evil things at all times, but special attention should be paid to ensure this whilst fasting. It is said that there is fasting for every part of the body, and fasting of the ears is that they should be protected from hearing evil and useless things as hearing such things has a great effect on the heart, which turns thoughts towards sinning. A fasting person needs to refrain from listening to backbiting, lies, jokes, film stories, film songs, and crude talk. Listen to the recitation of the Holy Qur’an and Naaths and Insha Allah, the heart will be illuminated and the spiritual benefits of fasting will be obtained.
It is essential for us to safeguard our eyes, especially whilst we are fasting. We have to safeguard our eyes from looking at na-mahram women, TV, dancing, songs, movies, and nude or obscene pictures. Looking at such things turns the mind towards committing sins and that destroys the spirit of fasting. Therefore, we must save our eyes from such things and should rather look at and recite the Holy Qur’an and Insha Allah, we will obtain untold benefits.
The aim and object of fasting is to instill in our hearts the enthusiasm to refrain from all kinds of sins. All sins that are committed by humans are first thought about in the heart before they are carried out. Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “There is a piece of meat in the body of humans, if that remains safe then the whole body is safe, and if that becomes corrupted then the whole body is corrupted; that piece of meat is the heart.” Therefore, we need to safeguard our hearts from false and evil thoughts.
And lastly, one of the major sins that many of us neglect to safeguard ourselves from, is not reading our five times Salah. Salah is compulsory and one would never be able to truly benefit from the blessings of fasting by neglecting the Salah. In fact, one would be committing a grave sin by disobeying the command of Allah Ta’ala in such a sanctified month, which can only lead to the Anger of Allah Ta’ala.
After saving every part of one’s body from sinning, out of fear of Allah Ta’ala and for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala, a person has full faith that I obeyed the orders of the Almighty Allah completely and Allah Ta’ala will definitely accept the supplication that I make at this time, just as Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, “The supplications of three types of people are never rejected; a fasting person at the time of Iftar, a just ruler, and an oppressed person.” [Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]
Bad Consequences Of The Tongue
The Heart:
The most important part of the body is the heart as has been mentioned by our noble Prophet Muhammed (SAW) in his saying, “Indeed there is a piece of flesh in your body that, if it is sound, then the whole body will be sound and if it is corrupt then the whole body will be corrupt. Indeed it is the heart.” – Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih al-Muslim
The heart is thus the port where all actions stem, whether good or evil. If the heart is good then the actions will be good and if the heart is corrupt then the actions will be bad. The heart is the place where Allah scans, as the Messenger of Allah (SAW) says, “Allah does not look at your bodies nor your faces but he scans your heart and actions.” – Sahih al-Muslim
As for the heart, Allah has commanded us to love Him and His Messenger, to love the righteous people, to love that which Allah loves, and to hate all which Allah hates. The tongue acts accordingly, because…. the tongue expresses what is in the heart.
The Tongue Expresses what is in the Heart:
If a person is good, it reflects in their saying. Allah has made it very easy for the tongue to move, and it is not difficult to realize that a person’s tongue moves much more compared to the limbs. So if a person is not careful about what he says, even a single saying of his can invalidate his actions. It is for this reason that the whole body warns the tongue saying, “Fear Allah concerning us, for we are (dependant) upon you. If you are upright then we will be upright and if you are corrupt then we will be corrupt.” – Sunan at-Tirmidhi, Mishkaat, Riyaadh as-Saleheen
And at the same time, the tongue is a great blessing from Allah. If we look at the animals, who are unable to speak, we realize the importance of this great tool of communication.
The gratitude that we should show for this great blessing should include, using it for obedience to Allah, for reading the Qur’an, for seeking Knowledge, to enjoin good, and forbidding evil. The prohibitions of the tongue are that you do not lie, abuse, use foul language, backbite and slander.
Allah says at the beginning of Soorah al-Mumineen, “Indeed successful are the Believers, those who in their prayer have Khushoo [humility/fear of Allah]” (fear of Allah) and those who refrain from vain talk.” [Soorah Mumineen : 1-3]
Here Allah mentions that refraining from vain talk is a sign of successful believers. Allah also mentions refraining from vain talk after he mentions al-Khushoo. This is because too much talk makes the heart hard. It is not possible to reach the level of Khushoo unless one refrain from vain talk.
Imaam an-Nawawee (RA) mentions “Know it is incumbent upon all to guard their tongues from most speech, except a word that has some benefit in it….” – Kitaabul-Adhkaar
And for those who take heed, there is a constant reminder in the verse, “Not a word is said except that there is a watcher by him ready to record it.” – [Soorah Qaf (50):18]
The Messenger of Allah, Muhammed (SAW) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or keep silent.”
Ponder And Practice
It is narrated that Imam Hussain (as), grandson of the Holy Prophet (saw), said to a man who was backbiting another before him,
‘O you, stop backbiting, for it is the daily meal of the dogs of Hell.’
A person asked Allah’s Messenger (may peace and blessings be upon him) who among Muslims were better. Upon this (the Holy Prophet) remarked: One from whose hand and tongue, Muslims are safe.
Commentary
Are others safe from your words (back-biting, comments, sarcasm, hurtful jokes, fitnah, etc) and your deeds (retaliation, plotting, etc)?
Angels stand by your side, recording your words. It is better to be silent than to comment. “Speak good, or else be silent,” says Rasulullah (saw). Busy yourself with finding your own faults, and you shall have little time to comment on others.
Angels stand by your side, recording your deeds. It is better to forgive than to retaliate. Busy yourself with seeking forgiveness for your own soul, and you shall have little time to plot revenge or to ponder about the deeds of others.
When others are safe from your words and deeds, it means that you are now safe from words and deeds that will destroy you on Judgement Day. On that Day, Man will regret what evil he has said and done. He will be filled with relief, for all the evil which was not said and done. So restrain yourself, for your own good.
Will you not then take heed?
Ponder and practice.
Rasulullah S.A.W said, “An intelligent person is one who is constantly thinking about and preparing for death.”
Think about it. How does one prepare for death?
1) By seeking knowledge of Islam. So study about Allah, his Prophet, of good deeds and evil deeds. But knowledge itself is useless without…
2) Practising it. Perform good deeds, small or big, and avoid all evil deeds. But all performance is useless unless you are…..
3) Sincere (Ikhlas). To do lillahi ta’ala. But you will never achieve sincerity, as long as you do not have…
4) True Faith (Iman). You must
- truly believe in Allah,
- truly be in awe of Allah,
- truly depend and ask only from Allah,
- truly hope from Allah,
- truly fear Allah,
- truly put your trust in Allah.
But such faith does not come from reading books or talking about Islam or listening to fiery speeches about Islam; it comes from…
5) Striving hard in Allah’s path (Jihad). This does not mean going around trying to convert the world to Islam; it does not mean waving a sword at disbelievers showing them the ‘terror’ that Islam can inflict. It means fighting hard to cleanse the evil in yourselves –
- the jealousy,
- the greed,
- the stinginess,
- the arrogance,
- the pride,
- the laziness,
- the hatred,
- the lack of faith,
- the stupidity,
- the blindness of the heart,
- the backbiting and
- all the terrible sins that we do day after day, year after year until death comes a calling.
That is jihad. As you can see, this is a full-time job, that will take all your life to complete. But you will never start to strive for all this until you begin to…
6) Realize…
- Realize that you will die soon.
- Realize that you will be shown all your deeds (good and bad) on Judgement Day.
- Realize that Allah watches you all your life and that no deed escapes His repayment.
- Realize that money, fame, and property cannot buy your way out of Hell.
- Realize that only iman and good deeds can.
- Realize that you live only once.
- Realize that you are responsible for yourself.
- Realize that in the end, you are the one who will gain or lose.
- So many people have realized, studied Islam, and yet have gone astray – becoming terrorists, extremists, and fundamentalists. Why?
They have forgotten the most important thing in Islam. Which is that…….
7) Islam is about yourself. Correcting yourself. Cleansing yourself. Not about fighting with people or proving other people wrong.
- In the grave, you will be asked about yourself.
- What you did.
- What you said.
- What was your intention?
Then Allah will tell YOU, what is your final destination.
“And do not be as those who forget Allah, then Allah makes them forget about themselves….”Al-Qur’an.
Have you thought of yourself lately? Every man who forgets about himself lands in Hell.
Ponder…and practice.
A Beautiful Piece Of Advice
A beautiful piece of advice:
It is narrated that Imam Hussain (as), grandson of the Holy Prophet (saw), said to a man who was backbiting another before him,
‘O you, stop backbiting, for it is the daily meal of the dogs of Hell.’
A person asked Allah’s Messenger (may peace and blessings be upon him) who among Muslims were better. Upon this (the Holy Prophet) remarked: One from whose hand and tongue, Muslims are safe.
Commentary
Are others safe from your words (back-biting, comments, sarcasm, hurtful jokes, fitnah, etc) and your deeds (retaliation, plotting, etc)?
Angels stand by your side, recording your words. It is better to be silent than to comment. “Speak good, or else be silent,” says Rasulullah (saw). Busy yourself with finding your own faults, and you shall have little time to comment on others.
Angels stand by your side, recording your deeds. It is better to forgive than to retaliate. Busy yourself with seeking forgiveness for your own soul, and you shall have little time to plot revenge or to ponder about the deeds of others.
When others are safe from your words and deeds, it means that YOU are now safe from words and deeds that will destroy YOURSELF on Judgement Day. On that Day, Man will regret what evil he has said and done. He will be filled with relief, for all the evil which was NOT said and done. So restrain yourself, for your own good.
Will you not then take heed?
Ponder and practice.
Rasulullah S.A.W said, “An intelligent person is one who is constantly thinking about and preparing for death.”
Think about it. How does one prepare for death?
1) By seeking knowledge of Islam. So study about Allah, his Prophet, of good deeds and evil deeds. But knowledge itself is useless without…
2) Practising it. Perform good deeds, small or big, and avoid all evil deeds. But all performance is useless unless you are…..
3) Sincere (Ikhlas). To do lillahi ta’ala. But you will never achieve sincerity, as long as you do not have…
4) True Faith (Iman). You must
truly believe in Allah,
truly be in awe of Allah,
truly depend and ask only from Allah,
truly hope from Allah,
truly fear Allah,
truly put your trust in Allah.
But such faith does not come from reading books or talking about Islam or listening to fiery speeches about Islam; it comes from…
5) Striving hard in Allah’s path (Jihad). This does not mean going around trying to convert the world to Islam; it does not mean waving a sword at disbelievers showing them the ‘terror’ that Islam can inflict. It means fighting hard to cleanse the evil in yourselves –
the jealousy,
the greed,
the stinginess,
the arrogance,
the pride,
the laziness,
the hatred,
the lack of faith,
the stupidity,
the blindness of the heart,
the backbiting and
all the terrible sins that we do day after day, year after year until death comes a calling.
That is jihad. As you can see, this is a full-time job, that will take all your life to complete. But you will never start to strive for all this until you begin to…
6) Realize …
Realize that you will die soon.
Realize that you will be shown all your deeds (good and bad) on Judgement Day.
Realize that Allah watches you all your life and that no deed escapes His repayment.
Realize that money, and fame, and property cannot buy your way out of Hell.
Realize that only iman and good deeds can.
Realize that you live only once.
Realize that you are responsible for yourself.
Realize that in the end, you are the one who will gain or lose.
So many people have realized, and have studied Islam, and yet have gone astray – becoming terrorists, extremists, and fundamentalists. Why?
They have forgotten the most important thing in Islam. Which is that…….
7) Islam is about YOURSELF. Correcting YOURSELF. Cleansing YOURSELF. Not about fighting with people or proving other people wrong.
In the grave, you will be asked about YOURSELF.
What YOU did.
What YOU said.
What was YOUR intention?
Then Allah will tell YOU, what is YOUR final destination is.
“And do not be as those who forget Allah, then Allah makes them forget about themselves….”Al-Qur’an.
Have you thought of yourself lately? For every man who forgets about himself lands in Hell.
Ponder…and practice.
10 Goals To Set For This Ramadan
1. Eat, drink, and be moderate
Almost all of us do it – once Iftar time hits, we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it’s hard to move afterward. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we’re supposed to learn self-control, not self-indulgence. Let’s try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third of food, one-third water, and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.
2. Give a dollar a day in charity…or five or ten
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let’s open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it’s the intention that counts.
3. Memorize 4 new Surahs
Memorizing the Quran often seems like a daunting task. But the key is doing it in small bites. Since there are four weeks in Ramadan, try to memorize one new Surah a week. Start off with a short, easy one. Once you’ve started, you’ll build momentum and may even want to memorize a longer one the following week.
4. Go to Tarawih prayers
Post-Iftar, the first urge is to sleep after an exhausting day. But try your best to head out to the mosque for Tarawih prayers. Praying alone is wonderful, but doing it in the congregation is fantastic. The community spirit is part of Ramadan’s blessings. Don’t miss it this year. If going every day is not possible, try going at least one week.
5. Attend the Tarawih prayer in which the recitation of the Quran will be finished
Call the local mosque and find out which day the Imam will be finishing the recitation of the Quran in prayer. Attend to not only hear part of the Quran’s recitation in prayer but also participate in the heart-rending Duas that follow it.
6. Stop swearing and/or backbiting with a special box
It’s hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone’s upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn’t the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we’ve got to wage Jihad against our bad habits.
Try this: get a box and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment.
At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for the person whom you’ve backbitten the most against.
7. Call/email your relatives
You’d think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we’d keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life’s “busyness.”
Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.
8. Go on a technology diet
Even if you work in the IT industry, you can do this. Avoid checking personal email and surfing the web during your fast. After Iftar, instead of plopping yourself in front of the screen, go to Tarawih. The same goes for the television. The point is to try to give our full attention to spiritual elevation this month.
9. Read 5 minutes of the Quran a day…just five, not more, not less
Even if you feel you’ve got absolutely no time, set a timer or the alarm on your cell phone and find a relatively quiet place. You can read the first page of the Quran you open or follow a sequence. The choice is yours. The point is simply to connect with God through His revelation in the month of the Quran.
10. Forgive everyone who has hurt you
Still, got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year? Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument? Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the body, but it’s also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of which are devoted to Allah’s forgiveness, shouldn’t we lesser beings forgive too?
If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least three people.
Backbiting (Gheebat)
Allah (SWT) says: ‘O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, Verily Allah is the One who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful (Surah 49,v12)
The above Quran ayat has stated that the despicable act of backbiting fellow Muslims is similar to eating their dead flesh. Would any human being find this act pleasing? Remember that the act of backbiting is even worse than doing this!
In accordance with the Shari’ah, backbiting is to speak of another individual’s bad points (if they are true) when they are not present, be it by speech, pen, or any other means, and, if he was to hear this he would dislike it. However, if such a vice is mentioned which is not present in a particular individual, then this will be a false accusation but is still a form of backbiting.
Our Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi wassalaam) mentioned once, ‘Backbiting is that one mentions the vices of another brother which are present in him (a reality)…the Sahaba mentioned: ‘Ya Rasulullah (saw) we thought that backbiting was mentioning something which is not present in another brother..’ Nabi (saw) mentioned: You thought wrong, that is falsely accusing a brother.’ (Duri Manthoor)
The Messenger of Allah (saw) stated, ‘The person who controls his tongue as much as possible, he has attained salvation.’ (Darmi)
Ibn Abbas (radiallahu‘anhu) relates, ‘In the same way that Allah (SWT) has made the flesh of carrion (dead animals) haraam, the same way He (SWT) has prohibited the act of backbiting.’ (Ibn Jarri, Duri Manthoor)
In the same way that backbiting of a living individual is haraam, the same is applicable to the dead also.
Rasulullah (saw) mentioned, ‘When anyone of you dies, then let him be… and do not backbite about him.’ (Abu Daawood)
Abu Darda (RA) was asked by Sayyidina Ali (RA): ‘Why do you frequently visit the graves? He answered, ‘The dwellers of the graves remind one of death, this is how we benefit from this, they don’t complain about us and if we get up and leave them, they don’t backbite about us…This is why I spend more time in their company (meaning in the graveyard).’ (Ahyal Uloom)
Rasulullah (saw) stated: ‘Backbiting as a sin is greater than the act of fornication (Zina).’ (Ibn Abi Dunya)
Just as fornication is considered as a great sin, backbiting should be considered in the same manner, or an even greater sin as proven by this Hadith).
The Reason Backbiting is a GREATER Sin than Fornication (Zina)
• In the act of fornication, the sinner (Zani) committing the act of fornication is only punishable for the reason that he/she has disobeyed Allah’s (SWT) order and instead chosen the path of Shaytaan.
• The act of Backbiting involves two sins, (1) disobedience to the law of Allah (SWT), and (2) Disrespecting the honor of a fellow Muslim. The disobedience of Allah (SWT) can be forgiven by the act of repentance (Tawbah). The condition for the second condition will be that they will have to seek forgiveness from the individual they talked about also. With this, it is hoped Insha-Allah, that Allah (SWT) too will forgive him/her.
The narration of Abdullah bin Mubarak (rahmatullahi’alaih), ‘A young person came to Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) and said: ‘Sir, I have done a very great sin, that I cannot even relate it to you.’ Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) said, ‘At least tell me what it is.’ The young man replied, ‘I have fornicated.’ Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) replied,’ O young man, the sin of fornication is indeed very great. Alhumdulillah, at least you did not backbite somebody, for that is an even greater sin.’ (Tazkirat ul Awliya)
What will be done with the Backbiter in the Hereafter?
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) relates, ‘That person who backbites another in this world…in the Hereafter, that person will be offered the flesh of his brother and will be told, ‘The same way in which you ate the flesh of your brother in the Dunya, eat now also.’ When that person will put that flesh in his mouth, he will find it very unpleasant and be disgraced due to this.’ (Targhib)
The Advice of Ibn Abbas (radiallaahu’anhu), ‘When you have decided to backbite someone and narrate their faults and bad points, at that time, remember your own faults, contemplate over your sins so that you may be saved from backbiting and attain Jannah. If you will not realize your own faults and continue to expose the faults of others, then on the Day of Qiyamah, Allah (SWT) too will expose your faults.’ (Ahyal Uloom)
For this very reason, there is a saying of some Tabi’een (rahimahumullah): ‘We have seen this condition in the Sahaba (RA)…they did not consider only Salaah and Fasting as a form of worship. However, they considered the abstaining from backbiting as a great form of worship also.’
After reading these points, we should reflect and judge ourselves in this respect and have concern for the Hereafter. May Allah (SWT) enable us all to use our tongues and do actions in accordance with His will and pleasure. Aameen.
Mufti Yusuf Danka
The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them
Backbiting is one of those Islamic topics that often gets sidelined. Appearing as one of the frequent tarbīyyah topics in common circles and gatherings, the issue may be forgotten or ignored. This is severely problematic, as backbiting is one of the most devastating sins a person can ever commit, and not keeping ourselves reminded about it can lead to grave consequences. To make it fresh in our minds again, let’s tackle the issue in a practical way. Here are 5 common misconceptions that we ourselves or others you encounter may have about backbiting, what is misunderstood, and how to respond to them.
Misconception #5: I’m not backbiting, I’m just saying.
When people respond with, “I’m just saying,” they’re telling themselves that what they’re mentioning is not something so bad as backbiting, it’s just “saying” things as they are. In other words, they’re trivializing the act, and telling themselves that backbiting isn’t really all that bad.
But backbiting is no walk in the park. It’s one of the most disgusting acts one could ever commit. That’s why Allah subḥāna wa ta’ala asks those who backbite, “Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother (or sister)?”1 God, Himself is comparing backbiting to something vilely rancid, so no one is fooled to think it’s not an inhuman act like that of murder or rape. The imagery of you eating the dead carcass of the person you’re talking about really paints a clear picture.
Not only that, Allah is asking us if we would love eating that flesh. It’s as if He is saying not only is backbiting as disgusting as eating that person’s dead flesh when we backbite, it’s as if we enjoy eating it, too.
Response: Describe to them how disgusting an act backbiting really is.
“You’re not, just saying. You’re going to that person’s body after their Janazah, ripping off their thigh, chewing it up, and enjoying it, too.”
Misconception #4: I’m not backbiting, everyone already knows about this person, anyway.
If a person is mentioning things about someone already known, not only are they still backbiting, they’re following the footsteps of hypocrites. The hypocrites of Medinah spread rumors about ‘A’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, and as a result were cursed by Allah to the depths of Hellfire.
Hellfire, which was intensified by Allah for thousands of years, turning its flame from orange to red to yellow to black, and burns 70 times worse than Earth’s fire (minimum 210th degree burns?). The same Hellfire where those who spread lies about others get hooks pierced into their cheeks and slammed back to rip off their faces, and are given scalding hot puss to drink as a relief.
If everyone already knows about it, why spread it and potentially go to the horror that is Hell? And if not the Hellfire, then being punished in the grave with copper nails repeatedly scratching your face and chest off? The risk simply isn’t worth it.
Response: Remind them about the punishment of backbiting and how it makes spreading rumors not worth the risk.
“Mentioning what everyone already knows about somebody is a dangerous path to Hellfire. Is spreading the news so important that it’s worth living with black fire that’s 70 times hotter, boiling puss drinks, and having your cheeks ripped off your face?”
Misconception #3: I’m not backbiting, I’m warning others about a person’s mistakes.
Human beings have a natural desire to warn others about harm. That’s why when they see something wrong with someone else, they’ll personally identify those characteristics as a problem, make a decision to be careful about it for themselves, and naturally want to notify others about it as well.
But that’s where the problem comes in. We want to naturally talk about someone else’s faults, but if we do, it’s backbiting. How can we get past this natural desire that’s so troublesome?
Simple. First, we need to realize which of these natural tendencies is okay and which isn’t. It’s completely okay to be adverse to the faults of others. However, telling others about those mistakes, while naturally easy, is the major sin of the two.
The Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said backbiting is “talking about your brother in a manner which he does not like.” That means saying anything about the person that they wouldn’t want you to counts as backbiting. If you know the person you’re talking about wouldn’t like what you’re saying about them, don’t say it.
If we feel the desire to go out and warn someone about it, do so on the person with the faults in the first place in a kind and sincere manner. Our problem as Muslims is that we talk a lot about people behind their backs but never confront them in person.
Secondly, on an encouraging note, remember that by not backbiting, we get closer to guaranteed Paradise. The Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said whoever guarantees control over what is in between their thighs and their jaws, he will guarantee them Paradise.
This guarantee is awesome in two ways. Not only makes not backbiting easier because of the amazing goal attached to it, it comforts us in the fact that our religion understands. Notice how the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam asked for whoever guarantees control, showing that he knows it’s natural to lose control. But at the same time, he’s encouraging us to take that control and work towards Paradise.
Response: Explain to them what backbiting is and the reward of abstaining from it.
“Talking about others negative traits in any way shape or form is backbiting and none of your business, and if you stay away from it you’re working towards guaranteed admission to Paradise.”
Misconception #2: I’m not backbiting, I’ll tell them later or I don’t care, I can say it to their face.
Some people justify backbiting by thinking if they inform the person later they were talking about them behind their back, it makes the act okay. But telling someone you backbit about them after the fact is a part of the process of repenting and making up for the sin. It has to be done sincerely, with regret and shame for the act, driven by a balanced fear of Allah’s punishment and a hope in His Mercy.
Trying to justify backbiting by telling someone you backbit about them is like trying to justify believing Prophet Jesus, peace be upon him, as the son of Allah by saying you will just repent later. Not only is it an imbalance between fearing Allah and having hope He will forgive you, it doesn’t make the act okay to commit in the first place.
What’s worse is when some people claim they, “don’t care” about backbiting and they supposedly can or will say what they backbit about someone to their. Not only is that even more of a misunderstanding than planning to tell them later, it just shows two things. One, they’re just a jerk. It isn’t bad enough that they’re backbiting, but they have to go and act “brave” by claiming they can tell the person the insult to their face.
In addition to being a jerk, they also need to be careful when they say, “I don’t care.” Do they really not care? And what do they not care about? They don’t care about incinerating in that 70 times hotter black fire we mentioned before? And having their cheeks ripped off your face and having to drink searing hot puss afterward? Are they really sure they don’t care? Chances are no.
Response: Backbiting about someone with the intention to tell them later doesn’t make it okay. It’s still backbiting. And claiming you, “don’t care” and can say it to their face shows that you’re a jerk and don’t care about the Hellfire.
Misconception #1: I’m not backbiting, it’s true.
This, by far, is the most common misconception and response we find Muslims making when we warn them about backbiting. They think that backbiting is only when you mention bad things about people that aren’t true. Is that really the case?
Going back to the definition of backbiting, the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said backbiting is to mention things about your brother (or sister) which they don’t like. After the Companions heard this definition, one of them asked, “what do you think about if what I say about that person is true?”
“If (that) is actually found (in that person) what you claimed, you, in fact, backbit him. And if that’s not in that person, it’s slander,” the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam answered.
This shows that we’ve got it all wrong. Just because what we’re saying is true, doesn’t mean it’s not backbiting. In fact, it proves that we are indeed backbiting because backbiting is true information. If it wasn’t true, we’d be doing something worse than backbiting, slander.
That makes a whole lot of things count as backbiting. That’s why when ‘A’isha said about Ṣafiyya, the wife of the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam who was the daughter of a Jewish leader, that, “she’s short,” he got upset and said, “you have said a word that if were to be dropped into the sea it would contaminate it.”
‘A’isha and the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam knew about Ṣafiyya’s height. So did everyone else who saw her in Medinah, and all the people from her tribe before she married the Prophet. In other words, what ‘A’isha said was as true as it gets. But the fact that it was true made it backbiting. And if something as small as what she said was poison to the entire sea, what about when we talk about how people may be gaining weight, undergoing a divorce, losing their hair, struggling to control their anger, failing to give up a public sin, or anything else they wouldn’t like said about them?
Response: Inform them about the truth being backbiting and falsehood being slander.
“Yeah, you’re backbiting, because the Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam if it’s true, which you’re saying it is, then it’s backbiting.”
Conclusion
Backbiting is no misdemeanor. It’s a federal offense. In fact, it’s more than that. It’s a universal act of ethical treason, the likes of which transcend this world and has severe consequences in the next.
We need to remember that when we signed up to become Muslim, we agreed to follow all of the rules, and one of the rules is that for anyone else who signed up for the contract of La ilah ha illa Allah, Muḥammmad al-rasulullah you can’t ever talk behind their back. Doing so is not only a horrible sin and a disgusting act, it’s one of the worst things you could ever do to your Muslim brother or sister.
While you may be fired up to use the responses to these misconceptions and are trying to think of people you could use them on, ask yourself if the person to respond to is none other than you. Do you have these misconceptions about backbiting? Have you ever made any of these five justifications or something similar to them? If so, give yourself the responses and work on yourself first, and eventually, you can work on correcting others, as well.
Al Huda Institute