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Birr (Piety) Towards Parents After Death

Death brings an end to one’s ability to perform good deeds and it is a long journey that requires enough provisions and only three qualities can make this journey easier. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “When a man dies all his good deeds end, except for three cases; the charity of continuous blessings, beneficial knowledge that he left behind, and a righteous child who prays for him.” [Saheeh Muslim (vol. 3, p.867, no. 4005)]

Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) explained how a child can benefit his parents after their death. Narrated Abu Usayd Malik ibn Rabiah as-Saidi: “While we were with the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam), a man of Banu Salmah came to him and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death?’ He replied: “Yes, there are four qualities to perform:-
 
1. Pray (to Allah to grant them mercy) and invoke (Him) to forgive them,
2. Fulfill their promises (or will),
3. Be generous to their friends,
4. Keep relations with the kindred, which you are kindred through your parents. This is what remains of the kindness that you could perform towards them after they die.” [Sunan of Abu-Dawood (5123)]
Note: The last wishes (wasiyah or will) expressed by the person should be fulfilled so long as they are in accordance with the Sharee’ah.

Performing Hajj on behalf of the Dead:
Another form of worship known from the Sunnah that can be performed on behalf of the dead is Hajj (Pilgrimage). Hajj can only be performed on behalf of the dead after completing one’s obligation of performing Hajj. It was narrated from Ibn Abbas that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) heard a man saying “Labbayka ‘an Shubrumah (At your service, O Allah, on behalf of Shubrumah).” The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asked: “Who is Shubrumah?” He said, “A relative of mine.” The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said, “Have you ever done Hajj before?” He replied: “No.” Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) ordered him, “Do this Hajj for yourself, then do Hajj on behalf of Shubrumah.” [Abu Dawood (1811). The hadeeth is classed as Saheeh by Shaikh al-Albanee in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel (4/171)]

Family Life In Islam

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of humility through mercy, say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young. (17:23-24).

In the West, most children can’t wait to reach the legal age and move out of the house. Parents are seen as a hindrance to one’s freedom. Aged parents are seen as a burden that should be shoved onto the shoulders of a nursing home.

For a Muslim, being kind to parents is much more than remembering them on their birthdays or Mother’s or Father’s Day. Being kind to them means listening respectfully to their opinion and obeying them in everything that is not disobedience to God. For an adult child it means to see that they have the necessities of life and whatever more one can afford; to keep them under one’s roof when they are elderly without grudge; to never speak unkindly to them or physically abuse them.

Nursing homes are almost unheard of in many Muslim countries. (Alzheimer’s disease is also rare.) In an Islamic society, parents are respected for their wisdom and experience. Adult children might move out in search of work, but they still turn to their parents for advice and visit or communicate with them as much as possible. It is a Muslim’s honored duty to lovingly care for his or her parents in their old age. Parents sacrifice so much for their children when they are small; a Muslim is happy to return that sacrifice when his or her parents can no longer care for themselves. It is not a burden but a means of winning a great reward in Paradise.

In many Muslim societies, the extended family lives together. As parents become grandparents, they may help in looking after or educating young children. And even when they are no longer “productive”, they continue to be loved and respected for their humanity, and for their wisdom and experience.

A Muslim’s duties to his or her parents do not end when they die, for one thing, that benefits the dead is the prayers of their righteous children.

A man asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), “Whom should I honor most?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. He replied, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. He replied, “Your mother.” “And who comes next?” asked the man. The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Your father.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Mother’s Day Special – Father’s Day Special

For us, Every Year and Month and Day and Hour and Minute and Second is Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Parents are a Great Gift from Allah
When we were young, we loved to play with our Mum and Dad. When we grow up, many of us leave them and only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents are always there and give everything they could just to make us happy. Below is what Allah mentioned in the Quran.

And We have enjoined on the man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months; until when he attains his maturity and reaches forty years, he says My Lord! grant me that I may give thanks for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed on me and on my parents and that I may do good which pleases Thee and do good to me in respect of my offspring; surely I turn to Thee, and surely I am of those who submit. (Al_Quraan_046: 015)

Be Kind to your Parents:
And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) “Ugh” nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little. (Al_Quraan_017: 023-024)

And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did. (Al_Quraan_029: 008)

And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents– his mother bears him with faintings upon faintings and his weaning takes two years– saying: Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly, and follow the way of him who turns to Me, then to Me is your return, then will I inform you of what you did. (Al_Quraan_031: 014-015)

Hadeeth regarding Parents:
The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).

Our Daughters Are A Blessing, Not A Burden

Children are no doubt a great gift from Almighty Allah to all parents. Parents must think of their children as such treasures that all the wealth and material resources are worthless when compared to one’s children. We, as parents, should thank and be grateful to Almighty Allah for blessing us with children whether they are boys or girls. Today, it is quite disheartening to see that some parents rejoice when the newborn child is a male and show their dissatisfaction when the child is a female. But, this should not be the attitude. Islam does not condone this type of behavior, as such was the manner of the parents in the time of ignorance.

In pre-Islamic times, the Arabs used to be disheartened and annoyed with the birth of girls, so a father, when informed his wife had given birth to a girl, said, “By Allah, she is not as blissful as a son; her defense is crying and her care is but stealing!”

He meant she could not defend her father and her family except by screaming and crying, not by fighting and carrying arms. She also cannot be good to them and care for them except by taking from her husband’s money to give to her family. Their traditions allowed the father to bury his daughter alive for actual poverty, or for expected poverty, or out of fear of a disgrace she might bring upon them when she grew up. In that context, the Qur’an says, denouncing and derogating them:

“And when the girl-child who was buried alive is asked. Upon what sin was she killed for.” [Surah al-Takweer, Verses 8-9]

The Qur’an also describes the condition of fathers when their daughters were born:

“And when one among of them receives the glad tidings of a daughter, his face turns black for the day, and he remains seething. Hiding from the people because of the evil of the tidings; “Will he keep her with disgrace, or bury her beneath the earth?”; pay heed! Very evil is the judgment they impose!” [Surah al-Nahl, Verse 58-59]

What Quran Says Regarding Parents?

What Quran says about parents

And whoever obeys Allah and the Apostle, these are with those upon whom Allah has bestowed favors from among the prophets and the truthful and the martyrs and the good, and a goodly company is they.

What Quran says about parents|

What does Quran say regarding Parents?

[4.Surah An-Nisaa : Ayah 36]
“And serve Allah and do not associate anything with Him and be good to the parents and to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the neighbor of (your) kin and the alien neighbor, and the companion in a journey and the wayfarer and those whom your right hands possess; surely Allah does not love him who is proud, boastful.”

What Quran says about parents

Your Parents Are Your Paradise And They Are Your Hell

DUTIES TOWARDS PARENTS
The Holy Quran and Sunnah have laid great emphasis on meting out the treatment to the parents. Serving the parents well has been declared a highly virtuous act and a great asset in this world as well Hereafter, Our parents deserve our greatest regard obedience, and service after Allah and His Messenger.

Almighty Allah has decreed:
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Allah and that you be kind to parents.

The spiritual and moral duties are not brought into juxtaposition. We are to worship none but Allah because none but Allah is worthy of worship. Here we are asked to show kindness to our father and mother. It means parental love should be to us a type of divine love, Our spiritual advancement is tested by this. We cannot expect Allah’s forgiveness if we are rude or unkind to those who unselfishly brought us up.

Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Masud (Allah be pleased with him) states:
I submitted to the Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as to which act Allah likes best.
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
The prayer offered in time.
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Masud (Allah be pleased with him) submitted:
What it that Allah likes next best
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
Good treatment of your mother and father.
Hadrat Abdullah Ibn Masud (Allah be pleased with him) again submitted:
The Messenger of Allah ( peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
Jihad in the way of Allah. (Bukhari, Muslim)

How The Muslim Should Behave Towards His Parents

How the Muslim should behave towards his Parents:

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful

1. Be Good to Parents and to Kindred and to Orphans and the Needy and speak kindly to Mankind; and establish Prayer and pay the Poor-Due.

(AlQuran. Surah AlBaqara. Para # 1)

2. Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and ( that ye show ) kindness to Parents.

(AlQuran. Surah Banii Israael. Para # 15)

3. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not ” Fie ” unto them, nor Repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing submission through Mercy and say, My Lord! Have Mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little.

(AlQuran. Surah Banii Israael. Para # 15)