Bitterness Is A Killer!
Abu Hurairah (Radi Allahu anhu) said: The Allah’s Messenger (SalAllahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Verily, Allah likes three things for you and disapproves three things for you. He likes that you should worship Him Alone, not to associate anything with Him (in worship) and hold fast the Rope of Allah and not be divided among yourselves; and He disapproves of your irrelevant talk, persistent questioning and the squandering of the wealth.” Muslim (As Taken from Riyad-us-Saliheen)
We tend to think that circumstances cause us to become bitter, but this is not always the case. Bitterness is something that happens to us, it is a characteristic we develop. To swallow a daily dose of poison would be unthinkable. Yet this is what you do if you awaken each morning with bitter thoughts that belong to the past. You are poisoning your system.
Bitterness is a killer. But who does it hurt? Only you – for who else suffers that gnawing pain which twists and turns deep in your being? Certainly not the one who has wronged you! He or she probably is not even aware of it. Bitterness depresses the spirits, stifles creativity, weakens the immune system, obstructs happiness and ruins health. As a carrier you are the only one who reaps its adverse consequences so why submit to it?
A bitter person always seems to find a good reason to be bitter: “After all I did, he or she left me…” “My parents all favor my brother – nothing I do will please them…” “That false rumor ruined my chances of promotion…” and the list goes on… Valid reasons, maybe. Painful, certainly! Even worthy of some human emotion. But it takes only a little –yes just a little time and effort to work through the pain, hurt, disappointment, sadness, or anger. You must process your emotions, regain your balance, change your attitude or seek counsel.
“Wonderful in theory,” a bitter person might say. “But I can’t forget.” You can forget, but whether you choose to is another matter. It takes time and effort to re-pattern negative thoughts into the conscious habit of replacing them with positive ones. When we harbor negative emotions towards others or ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables a person’s emotional resources. The challenge is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness.
“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”
ALLAH TA’ALA knows what’s hidden in the deep recesses of our hearts. Those feelings of pain, anguish, resentment, hatred, bitterness, etc., that we so successfully hide from everyone else, including our closest family members and friends. So why not let it all out? Why not let ALLAH TA’ALA be your “therapist”? Let your prayer mat be your “couch” while you reveal and ask the One who is in control, Who knows you better than you know yourself. From the very depth of Allah Ta’ala’s fountain of Mercy, bitterness will be cleansed and you shall blossom amongst the flowers of enjoyment. Subhan-ALLAH!
Beloved Reader! It is better to live in peace than in bitterness and strife. I’ve known people to go through a lot of trials and hardships and maintain a grateful and gracious spirit throughout. I’ve seen others face similar trials only to become angry and embittered souls. In both cases, the hardship revealed the heart more than it formed the heart. If we are filled with sweetness and something jostles us, then sweetness spills out. If we are filled with bitterness, and we get jostled, then battery acid goes everywhere. Overcome the obstacles in your path, and be determined, courageous, and hard-working. Never be faint-hearted. Be resolute, but never bitter… be beautiful inside, and thus you shall become an embodiment of love, joy, and happiness.
How To Deal With Bitterness:
- The most important is to Turn to Allah by means of Dua (Prayer). Raise your hands in supplication, for, Du’a is a weapon of a Believer.
- Every time you think of a past negative situation, replace it instantly with a picture of a positive, happy life.
- When you feel resentful, bless and forgive the person who wronged you, and do not stop praying for the best for those you love.
- Busy yourself with things you enjoy so that you have no time to brood. Plan something to look forward to. Give to someone who is worse off than yourself. In other words, place every negative thought with a positive one until it becomes a habit.
Never allow bitterness to take root, or you’ll become a twisted, sour human being people will shun.
Bitter thoughts are like weeds. Pluck them out of your heart relentlessly…and in their place will sprout the seeds of joyful new life.
O ALLAH TA’ALA! Reform our character and bless us with the cleanliness of the heart. ..Aameen
By Sister S Bemath