When The Prophet’s Wives Met Men
It is well known that a divine order was given to the Prophet (peace be upon him), late in his life, requiring his wives to be behind a screen when speaking to men. Before that order, they behaved like other Muslim women, taking part in the public life of society and meeting men on public and private occasions. There are many examples of this on
either very common occasions, such as the mere exchange of greetings, or special ones like weddings and parties. However, we will cite other examples so that we give an idea of the extent of their participation in public life, and the variety of purposes of their meetings with men.
The first example concerns the pursuit of knowledge and involves Lady Khadeejah, the Prophet’s first wife. Lady Ayesha reports: “The first aspect of revelation given to the Prophet was that his dreams would always come true. Khadeejah took him to Waraqah ibn Nawfal, her cousin on her father’s side. Waraqah had converted to Christianity before the advent of Islam. He used to write in Arabic whatever he learned of the Gospel. He was an old, blind man. Khadeejah said to him: ‘Cousin! Listen to what he (meaning Prophet Muhammad) has to tell you.’ He said to him:
‘What is it that you have seen?’ The Prophet told him about his encounter with Gabriel, the angel. Waraqah said: ‘This is the archangel who used to come to Moses. I wish I were a young man. I wish I am alive when your people will drive you out of your town.’ The Prophet said: ‘Will they drive me out?’ Waraqah answered. ‘Yes. No one has ever preached what you will be delivering without being met with hostility. If I am alive on that day, I will give you great support.’ (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
After Khadeejah’s death, the Prophet (peace be upon him) married several wives who reported many of his statements and teachings. But none reported more than Ayesha, who was endowed with a rich wealth of knowledge. Saeed ibn Al-Aas reports that both Ayesha and Uthman told him that “Abu Bakr sought admission to speak to the Prophet when he was lying on his bed, wearing Ayesha’s shawl. When Abu Bakr was admitted, the Prophet attended to his business, and then he left. Then Umar sought permission, and he was allowed while the Prophet remained in the same position. When he finished his business, he left. Uthman later sought permission, and the Prophet sat up and told Ayesha to put her clothes together, covering herself well. When Uthman left after finishing his business with the Prophet, Ayesha said: ‘Messenger of God! Why did you not sit up and prepare yourself to receive Abu Bakr and Umar as you did for Uthman?’ He said: ‘Uthman is a shy person. I feared that if I received him when I was in that position, he would not put his request to me.” (Related by Muslim.)
Usamah ibn Zayd reports that “Gabriel the angel came to the Prophet when he was at Umm Salamah’s home, and he spoke to him before standing up and leaving. The Prophet asked his wife, Umm Salamah, who that person was.
She said: ‘He is Dihyah.'” Umm Salamah said: “By God, I had no doubt that the man was Dihyah until I heard the Prophet speaking to the people, reporting what Gabriel said.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
It should perhaps be explained that sometimes Gabriel came to the Prophet taking the shape of a human being. On those occasions, he mostly appeared like Dihyah ibn Khaleefah Al-Kalbi, who was a very handsome companion of the Prophet. This explains how the Prophet’s wife, Umm Salamah, thought Gabriel to be Dihyah, but when she heard the Prophet addressing his companions and saying to them what Gabriel said earlier, she realized her mistake.
Ayesha reports that when the Prophet’s wives needed to go to the restroom, they went at night to Al-Manasi’, a wide, open place with no vegetation. Umar used to say to the Prophet that he should keep his wives screened, but the Prophet did not do that. One night Sawdah, the wife of the Prophet, went out for that purpose. She was a tall woman. Umar called out to her: ‘We have recognized you, Sawdah!’ He did so out of his eagerness that the Prophet’s wives should be screened. Soon afterward, God’s order was revealed for them to be screened.’ (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Anas reports: “On the day of the Battle of Uhud, fighters retreated, leaving the Prophet. I saw Ayesha bint Abu Bakr and Umm Sulaym, having lifted their dresses. I could see their anklets as they moved fast, carrying water skins on their backs and pouring water in people’s mouths before going back to fill up the water skins and giving people to drink.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Together, these Hadiths give us a picture of the Prophet’s wives actively participating in the life of the Muslim community. When the Prophet was visited by some of his companions, they were often present, in case the Prophet needed anything. People put their cases, and asked for rulings, even on intimate matters such as intercourse between man and wife, when they might be present. The Prophet neither ordered them to go out, nor was he upset that the man should put such a question while his wife was present. On the contrary, he answered him in a very relaxed manner, letting the question appear as a very ordinary one.
We also note that the Prophet was frequently visited by his companions, who had different needs. He did not have a reception room where he conducted his community affairs.
He simply admitted people into his room, where any of his wives might be present. The fact that they were later ordered to remain behind a screen puts them in a special category among women, with certain rules applicable to them only.
There is no suggestion, at any time, that other women should follow their example concerning such rules. Therefore, their conduct as appears in these Hadiths is the one that Islam wants ordinary Muslim women to follow. They confirm that Islamic society is one where men and women mix socially, but observe a high standard of propriety and decency, maintaining Islamic morality.
By: Dr. Abd Al-Haleem Abu Shuqqah