7 Things Your Muslim Wife Wont Tell You

In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate

“May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You”

Praise be to Allah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Some Verdicts About Supplications
Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “He who is favored by another and says to his benefactor: Jazak-Allah khairan (may Allah reward you well) indeed praised (the benefactor) satisfactorily.”[At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: If one is unable to return someone’s kindness with kindness, he should say, “Jazak-Allahu khairan (may Allah reward you well).” This means: “I am unable to reciprocate your kindness. May Allah grant you the best reward for it.” Obviously, there is no match for the reward that one gets from Allah. For this reason, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that it was the best of praise for a benefactor. 252/1496 – Riyad Us-Saliheen (Gardens of the Righteous)

1. Above All, She Wants Your Love
When a wife shows her husband less respect, he, in turn, shows her less love. And when a husband shows his wife less love, she, in turn, shows him less respect. And the vicious cycle repeats itself. Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife. That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks. And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.

2. She is Bored
Its the same thing every day. Week in and week out. Not only is she bored, but she is also tired. She has to care for the kids, run the household, and then pamper you.

Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel. And let’s not forget about working women. Many Muslim women have to work a full-time job as well as hold a house down.

So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break. Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite dessert home. Just do something every now and then to break the monotony.

3. She Wants to Be Complimented
Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or, even worse, is taken for granted.

Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals. But she does. And she does that on top of all the other things in her life:
1. Working or going to school.
2. Caring for the kids.
3. Striving to be a better Muslimah.

Show your wife that you appreciate and are thankful for the things she does to maintain you and your family. A simple “thank you” is a good start.

4. She is Insanely Jealous
There is a reason most women don’t care for polygamy. Be very careful how you talk about other women around your wife.
Don’t ever compare your wife to another woman.
Don’t compare her to some female movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife (or other wife!)

She wants to know and believe that she is the center of your universe. So make her feel that way.

5. She Wants You to Help Her Become A Better Muslimah
Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to show her how to be a better Muslimah? But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great, either. Therefore, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.

6. She Does not Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true. Yes, there are some people (men and women) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they will always find fault in something.

Let us be reminded of the following hadith: Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are
ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” Sahih Bukhari

So, yes, sisters should be careful about denigrating the things your husband does for you. But very often, you, Brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue. Perhaps you are always finding fault with her, and she looks for things in your character to get even. Perhaps you are not working (or not working hard enough), and she has to work to take up some slack. Perhaps you are just not that great a guy. Once again, upgrade yourself and give her fewer reasons to complain and nag.

7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You
“Women don’t get married just because they think it’s going to be fun. They get married because they want a happy family life, and they believe you are going to give it to them. Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.

The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her. Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her. Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.

Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaitan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaitan would love more than to destroy your marriage.