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Anger Management According To Qur’an And Sunnah

How To Control Anger?

1 – Seeking refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan when feeling angry.
Al-Bukhaari (3282) and Muslim (2610) narrated that Sulaymaan ibn Surad said: I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and two men were trading insults, One of them was red in the face and his veins were standing out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“I know a word which, if he said it, what he is feeling would go away. If he said, ‘I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan,’ what he is feeling would go away.”

2 – Changing one’s posture when feeling angry.
Abu Dawood (4782) narrated that Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to us:

“If one of you gets angry when he is standing, let him sit down; if his anger disappears, all well and good, otherwise let him lie down.”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

3 – Bring to mind the reward for patience, forbearance, and restraining your anger,
for that is the characteristic of the pious who are promised Paradise,

as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

133. Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous,–

134. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;–

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:133-134]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever restrains his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with pleasure on the Day of Resurrection. ”

Narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 2623.

Cures for Anger

When talking about cures for anger, it’s important to think about why we get angry in the first place.

A lot of the time, people get angry because they lose control of a situation. Anger is their attempt to regain control, but in actuality, does not help at all. It actually makes it worse because when a person is angry, he has shown weakness. He puts himself at a disadvantage both in dealing with people (in a debate, for example), and also in dealing with shaitan. He becomes a much weaker prey for shaitan.

This is why our beloved Prophet saws said,

“The strong is not the one who is physically powerful, but indeed, the one who controls himself when angry.”

If anger is a problem for you, it may be helpful for you to write down all the times that you can remember that you got angry…then look for a common factor that made you angry, or rather made you act on your anger.

Feeling anger is normal, and the act of being angry is not in and of itself necessarily sinful. It’s what you do with that anger that makes it a problem.

And while we’re on the subject, there’s an amazing lecture (As always mA) by brother Nouman about the characteristics of the people of Jannah, as taken from verses in Surah aal Imraan.

One of them is that they swallow their anger. Brother Nouman analyzes why the word ’swallow’ is used, and not ‘control’, etc.

When we are eating something, and let’s say someone is coming, and we don’t want them to know we were eating, so we quickly swallow the food.. will the person know we were eating? No, right? If there are no signs, like chewing, etc, the person will not even suspect that we were eating.

So in the same way, Allah SWT tells us that the people who shall enter Jannah swallow their anger, or make it completely go away…to the point where the people around them do not even suspect that the person is angry. Subhan Allah.

Usually, when someone is angry, and they’re trying to control themselves, you’ll see them shaking, or turning red, or holding themselves back. And then someone will go and ask them if they’re ok.

So the best thing to do is when you feel anger coming up from inside you, quickly swallow it and make it disappear. Of course, it won’t be that easy, but if you make it your habit, it will become easier and easier to do. And it’s important to note that Allah SWT tells us that the people of Jannah swallow their anger, not that they don’t have anger.

10 Ways Of Honoring Servants

Most Muslims in Eastern countries employ domestic staff as a norm. For some, domestic helpers are a priceless resource who significantly ease our day-to-day chores. Conversely, for others, they can be a source of distress and chagrin.

Many women complain to each other about the trouble they face from the incompetence, treachery, and intentional misdemeanor of their servants. However, we need to remind ourselves that it is in managing our helpers according to Islamic injunctions that the secret lies to get the best out of them.

  1. Think of their pay as Sadaqah

We need to change the way we view our servants’ wages. By considering it an “expense,” we tend to extract the “full value” of the money. For instance, even if a maid is sick, her employer might say, “I pay her to work, so she must work.” But if we consider the salary a “Sadaqah” that helps fill their bellies, we will In Sha Allah be more tolerant of their shortcomings as human beings.

  1. Counsel them when they need it

You might notice that your domestic helpers are disturbed on some days. They are human beings who have problems and worries just like us. Ask them what is troubling them; then advise them to have patience and hope in Allah’s mercy. Keep the counsel short, but show them that you care.

  1. Forgive and forget their mistakes

Just like other human relationships, it is not pleasant to have your past mistakes and wrongs thrown in your face repeatedly. Forgive them for the sake of Allah if they wrong you, and do not be harsh when scolding them.

  1. Do not accuse them of stealing, cheating, or lying on mere suspicion

Many employers are guilty of this unfair action – as soon as something in the house is missing due to their own absentmindedness, the domestic helper is squarely accused of theft or negligence.

“O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin.” (Qur’an, 49:12)

Ask them normally if they have seen the missing object, but do not accuse them of theft or misplacement. In most cases, the object is eventually found after the maid has been fired, causing guilt and embarrassment to the employer for life.

  1. Informally teach them Islamic manners and knowledge

One of the rights of our domestic helpers upon us is that they are taught about Islam, or given its message if they are non-Muslims. Without being overtly ‘preachy’, give them small doses of the truth. The best way is to act upon Islam yourself. This will eventually make them love and respect you for the sake of Allah – which results in a sincere relationship devoid of mistrust and treachery.

  1. Eat with them occasionally without separating utensils

Domestic helpers are not animals. Some people treat them as if they are unhygienic beings from another planet. Allow them to use the utensils from which you and your family eat. If they have dirty habits, teach them hygiene. But do not separate their utensils as if they are untouchables. This will make them feel insulted. They will never return an insult with loyalty or obedience.

How To Attain ‘Al-Khushoo’ In Our Prayers

How is it possible for us to gain ‘Al-Khushoo’ (Humility) in and outside of the prayer and during the recitation of the ‘Quran’?

‘Al-Khushoo’ is the essence and core of the prayer. And it means the presence and attendance of the heart! And that the heart of the person who is praying does not wander left and right.

However … if the person senses something that will divert him away from (this) Al-Khushoo’ then he must seek refuge with Allah from the Outcast Shaytaan just as the *Prophet*…[sallahu ‘alayhi wasallam ]instructed us to do!

And there is no doubt that the ‘Shaytaan’ is extremely assiduous in spoiling all acts of worship, especially the ‘Salah’ which is the most superior act of worship after the Two Testimonies.

Thus, the ‘Shaytaan’ comes to the ‘Musalli’ (Praying individual) and says …or whispers Remember this and that and he causes him to indulge in thoughts and ideas that are of no benefit and which leave his head soon as he concludes from the prayer…

Therefore it is upon a person that he strives with the… utmost ambition to devote himself towards Allah the Mighty and Majestic, and if he feels anything from these misgivings and devilish insinuations to seek refuge with Allah from the Outcast ‘Shaytaan’ whether he is Raki’ (bowing), in the ‘Tashahhud’, sitting, or standing or in any position from his prayer.

Lastly, the greatest means that will aid one in attaining Al-Khushoo’ in the prayer is … that he Visualizes himself standing in front of Allah and that he is confiding in his Lord ALLAH {Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.}

{‘In Shaa Allah’}

[Source:-Footnotes:*Muslim( 2203).*Bukhari #608 and *Muslim #291 ]

Etiquette In The Month Of Ramadan

Respect for the Month of Ramadan
Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has said, The person who serves his parents according to the best of his abilities in the month of Ramadaan, Allah looks at him with special Mercy and takes the responsibility of forgiving him upon Himself. The wife who remains busy in Ramadaan pleasing her husband will be granted the companionship of Hazrat Mariam and  Hazrat Aasiya (Radiallahu Taala Anhuma) in Paradise. Once, in the city of Bukhara, the son of a fire worshiper was eating in the market of Muslims during the month of Ramadaan. Upon seeing him, his father slapped him on the face and expressed great disappointment. The son said, O my Father! You also eat all day long during the month of Ramadaan. The father replied, I do not fast at all and do eat but I do it in secret at home. I do not eat in front of the Muslims out of respect for this month. Sometime later, the fire worshiper died and a pious resident of Bukhara saw in his dream that the fire worshiper was walking in Paradise. He asked him, You were a fire worshiper, how did you get into Paradise? The fire worshiper replied It is true that I was a fire worshipper but, close to the time of death,  Allah Taala granted me the guidance to accept Islam. This is the blessing of respecting the month of Ramadaan that I died as a Muslim and Allah Taala granted me Paradise as a result of respecting Ramadaan and accepting Islam. [Nuzhatul Majaalis]

Subhaanallah! When a fire worshiper who respected the month of Ramadan was granted faith and Paradise by Allah Taala, if we Muslims respect the month of Ramadan and do not violate its sanctity, then we will definitely be deserving of the Grace of the Almighty, Insha Allah.

On the Day of Judgement, a person will be brought in such a state that the angels will be beating him mercilessly. He will seek support from Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) who will ask the angels, What is his sin? Why are you beating him so much? The angels will reply, He obtained the month of Ramadaan but still continued to disobey Allah Taala. Rasoolullah(Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) will be about to intercede for him when a voice will state, O My
Beloved! The petitioner against him is the month of Ramadan.Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) will say, I am disgusted with those people whom Ramadaan petitions against.

Rasoolullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, The person who safeguards three things is undoubtedly a Friend of Allah Taala, and know that the person who forsakes these three is an enemy of Allah Taala. These three things are fasting, Namaaz(Prayer), and compulsory bathing (Ghusl-e-Janaabat). The Paradise of Allah Taala longs for four kinds of people:
A person who fasts in the month of Ramadan.
A person who regularly recites the Holy Quran.
A person who safeguards his tongue.
A person who feeds his hungry neighbors.

On the Day of Judgement, when Allah Taala orders the people to rise from their graves, He will say to the Angel of Paradise, O Ridwan! Go and greet my bondsmen who used to fast, and used to go hungry and thirsty for My sake. Go with all the bounties of Paradise and present it to them.

Hazrat Ridwan (Alaihis Salaam) will call out, O workers of Paradise, bring large serving plates of Paradise, and bring food and drink equivalent to the grains of sand in the world, equal to the drops of rain, and equal to the stars in the sky and leaves on the trees. This will all be brought and placed in front of the people who used to fast. They will then be told, Eat as much as you please. This is the reward for the fasts that you observed in the world.

 

Problems, Problems, Problems…

PROBLEMS. . . how we hate them! The time and energy we waste, stewing  over problems instead of tackling them cheerfully and  constructively, recognising them as the growth points of  life and progress. Life can expose us to a series of problems. Problems evoke in us a great deal of emotional pain, such as sorrow, fear, anger, anxiety, sadness etc.  These are uncomfortable emotions. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s problems… it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its  meaning.

Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes success and failure. Problems are what cause us to grow mentally and  spiritually. Without growth, we’re doomed to stay as we have always been. Wise people learn not to dread problems, but to welcome, expect and tackle problems. Fearing the pain involved causes most to go to any lengths to avoid their problems and the suffering , attempting to escape from or even at times ignoring them by building out the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality. A little pain, perhaps, in facing a problem… a little patience, courage, thought and effort to  try and solve it – they’re preferable to burying it and risk becoming a neurotic cripple who may need  psychiatric treatment. In ignoring the problem, we stop  growth which we learn from the problems that life brings.  Therefore, we avoid real life for the replaced fantasy. When we stop the growth, we also stop the healing we could have attained if we faced our problems and pain with proper responses.

As Muslims, we are in direct communication with the Almighty  ALLAH. No matter how bad you perceive your situation and your lack of strength is, don’t give up!  Because, where your strength ends, the grace of ALLAH begins. So, cry your heart to none but ALLAH. Only ALLAH  TA’ALA can and will heal you in all possible ways! HE is the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with
our difficulties. Allah, The Most Wise, says:

“Remember Me, and I shall remember you; be grateful to Me, and deny Me not.” (Qur’aan 2:152)

Blessed Is The Wealth Of A Muslim From Which He Gives To The Poor

[ALLAH’S Quran – 2:215] “They ask you as to what they should spend. Say: Whatever wealth you spend, it is for the parents and the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer, and whatever good you do, Allah surely knows it.

The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) has said:
[Bukhari, Book #24, Hadith #544] “Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Once the Prophet sat on a pulpit and we sat around him. Then he said, “The things I am afraid of most for your sake (concerning what will befall you after me) are the pleasures and splendors of the world and its beauties which will be disclosed to you.” Somebody said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Can the good bring forth evil?” The Prophet remained silent for a while. It was said to that person, “What is wrong with you? You are talking to the Prophet (p.b.u.h) while he is not talking to you.” Then we noticed that he was being inspired divinely. Then the Prophet wiped off his sweat and said, “Where is the questioner?” It seemed as if the Prophet liked his question. Then he said, “Good never brings forth evil. Indeed it is like what grows on the banks of a water stream which either kill or make the animals sick, except if an animal eats its fill the Khadira (a kind of vegetable) and then faces the sun, and then defecates and urinates and grazes again. No doubt this wealth is sweet and green. blessed is the wealth of a Muslim from which he gives to the poor, orphans, and to needy travelers. (Or the Prophet said something similar to it) No doubt, whoever takes it illegally will be like the one who eats but is never satisfied, and his wealth will be a witness against him on the Day of Resurrection.”

(Jihad) Today’s Hadith

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “None is wounded in Allah’s Cause but will come on the Day of Resurrection with his wound bleeding. The thing that will come out of his wound will be the color of blood, but its smell will be the smell of musk.”

It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace upon him) said: Allah has undertaken to look after the affairs of one who goes out to fight in His way believing in Him and affirming the truth of His Apostles. He is committed to His care that Re will either admit him to Paradise or bring him back to his home from where he set out with a reward or (his share of) booty. By the Being in Whose Hand is the life of Muhammad. If a person gets wounded in the way of Allah, he will come on the Day of Judgment with his wound in the same condition as it was when it was first inflicted; its color is the color of blood but its smell will be the smell of musk. By, the Being in Whose Hand is Muhammad’s life, if it were not to be too hard upon the Muslim. I would not lag behind any expedition which is going to fight for the cause of Allah. But I do not have abundant means to provide them (the Mujahids) with riding beasts, nor have they (i. e. all of them) abundant means (to provide themselves with all the means of Jihad) so that they could be left behind. By the Being in Whose Hand is Mubammgls lac, I love to fight in the way of Allah and be killed, to fight and again be killed and to fight again and be killed.

Narrated Abu Huraira:
I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “The example of a Mujahid in Allah’s Cause– and Allah knows better who really strives in His Cause—- is like a person who fasts and prays continuously. Allah guarantees that He will admit the Mujahid in His Cause into Paradise if he is killed, otherwise He will return him to his home safely with rewards and war booty.”

It has been narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira who said: Allah has undertaken to provide for one who leaves his home (only) to fight for His cause and to affirm the truth of His word; Allah will either admit him to Paradise or will bring him back home from where he had come out, with his reward and booty.

Abu Hurairah said: “I heard the Messenger of Allah صلی اللہ علیہ وآلہ وسلم say: ‘The parable of Mujahid (who strives in the cause of Allah) — and Allah knows best who strives in the cause of Allah — is that of one who fasts and prays Qiyam (continually). Allah has promised Mujahid (who strives in His cause), that He will either cause him to die and admit him to Paradise or, He will bring him back safely with whatever he has earned of reward or spoils of war.” (Sahih)

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudri that the Prophet said: “The one who fights in the cause of Allah has a guarantee from Allah. Either He will raise him to His forgiveness and mercy, or He will send him back with reward and spoils of war. The likeness of the one who fights in the cause of Allah is that of one who fasts and prays at night without ceasing until he returns.” (Hasan)

Sickness According to Qur’an and Sunnah

Ever wonder why a Muslim is allowed
by Allah, Subhanuhu wa-Taala, to get sick?

Hadith – Bukhari 7:564
I visited Allah’s Apostle (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) while he was suffering from a high fever. I touched him with my hand and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! You have a high fever.” Allah’s Apostle (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Yes, I have as much fever as two men of you have.” I said, “Is it because you will get a double reward?” Allah’s Apostle (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Yes, no Muslim is afflicted with harm because of sickness or some other inconvenience, but Allah will remove his sins for him as a tree sheds its leaves.”

Hadith – Muslim & Bukhari
Abu Sa’id al-Khudri r.a. reported that the Prophet (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: Whenever a Muslim is afflicted with a hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression –even a thorn’s prick, Allah expiates his sins because of it.

Recorded by Bukhari in al-Adab ul-Mufrad (no. 493), verified authentic by al-Albani
“Expect good, because Allah (s.w.t.) makes a believer’s sickness an expiation (for his sins) and a period of repose. As for a disbeliever falling sick, he is like a camel whose owner ties it and then lets it loose –it does not understand why it was tied, nor why it was freed.”

The cure
Hadith – Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5466, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah May Allah be pleased with him
Allah’s Messenger (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: There is a remedy for every malady, and when the remedy is applied to the disease it is cured with the permission of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious.
Hadith – Muwatta 50:12

Yahya related to me from Malik from Zayd ibn Aslam that a man received a wound in the time of the Messenger of Allah (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam). The blood clotted in the wound and the man called two men from the Banu Ammar tribe. They looked at it and claimed that the Messenger of Allah (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said to them, “Which of you is the better doctor?” They said, “Is there any good in medicine, Messenger of Allah?” Zayd claimed that the Messenger of Allah (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “The one who sent down the disease sent down the remedy.”
Narration – Ahmad
“Worshippers of Allah, use medical treatments.”
Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi #2170, Narrated Abdul Malik ibn Umayr May Allah be pleased with him
Allah’s Messenger (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Fatihat al-Kitab contains healing for every disease.”
[Darimi and Bayhaqi, in Shu’ab al-Iman, transmitted it.]

Severe Trials for those Firms in their Religion

Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi 1562, Narrated Sa’d May Allah be pleased with him

When the Prophet (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) was asked which people suffered the greatest affliction, he replied, “The prophets, then those who come next to them, then those who come next to them. A man is afflicted in keeping his religion. If he is firm in his religion his trial is severe, but if there is weakness in his religion it is made light for him, and it continues like that till he walks on the earth having no sin.”
[Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Darimi transmitted it, and Tirmidhi said this is a Hasan sahih tradition.]

Rewards for those Afflicted
Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi #1570, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah May Allah be pleased with him

Allah’s Messenger (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “On the Day of Resurrection when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world.”
[Tirmidhi transmitted it, saying that this is a gharib tradition.]

Recorded by Ahmad May Allah be pleased with him, verified authentic by al-Hakim, ath-Thahabi, and al-Albani
The ailment is intensified for the righteous. Whenever a believer is afflicted with a hardship, be it a thorn or more, a sin is taken off him because of it, and he is elevated on level (in Jannah [Paradise]).

 

Hadith – Al-Bukhari
A traveler’s or sick person’s deeds are recorded in accordance with what he used to do when he was a resident or well.

Endurance
Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated AbuUmamah May Allah be pleased with him [Ibn Majah transmitted it.]

The Prophet (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) stated that Allah, The Blessed and Exalted, says,
“Son of Adam, if you show endurance and seek your reward from me in the first affliction, I shall be pleased with no lesser reward than Paradise for you.”

Hadith – Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, and Nasa’i, Narrated ‘A’ishah may Allah be pleased with her The Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, “Do not say, ‘I feel rotten*.’ Instead, say, ‘I do not feel well.”
*or any expression that involves corruption of any type.

Kindness to the sick
Hadith – Mishkat, Narrated Abu Sa’id May Allah be pleased with him

Allah’s Messenger (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “When you go in to visit an invalid, express a hope that he will live long. That will not avert anything, but it will comfort him.”

Hadith – Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 40, Narrated An-Nu’man bin Bashir May Allah be pleased with him

Allah’s Apostle (Sall’Allahu alaihi wasallam) said, “You see the believers as regards their being merciful among themselves and showing love among themselves and being kind, resembling one body, so that, if any part of the body is not well then the whole body shares the sleeplessness (insomnia) and fever with it.”
Visit the sick

Hadith – Qudsi 18

O son of Adam, I fell ill and you visited Me not. He will say: O Lord, and how should I visit You when You are the Lord of the worlds? He will say: Did you not know that My servant So-and-so had fallen ill and you visited him not? Did you not know that had you visited him you would have found Me with him? O son of Adam, I asked you for food and you fed Me not. He will say: O Lord, and how should I feed You when You are the Lord of the worlds? He will say: Did you not know that My servant So-and-so asked you for food and you fed him not? Did you not know that had you fed him you would surely have found that (the reward for doing so) with Me? O son of Adam, I asked you to give Me to drink and you gave Me not to drink. He will say: O Lord, how should I give You to drink when You are the Lord of the worlds? He will say: My servant So-and-so asked you to give him to drink and you gave him not to drink. Had you given him to drink you would have surely found that with Me.