Duty Towards Kin And Neighbors
After the limited circle of the family, the next social sphere is that of kinship and blood relationships. Islam wants all those who are related through common parents, common brothers, and sisters, or marriage to be affectionate, cooperative, and helpful to each other. In many places in the Quran good treatment of the near relations (Dhawi-al-qurba) is enjoined. In the Hadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him) proper treatment of one’s blood relations has been strongly emphasized and counted among the highest virtues. Islam looks with great disfavor to a person who cold-shoulders his relations or treats them indifferently.
But this does not mean that it is an Islamic virtue to favor one’s relations. If such support or bias towards one’s relations results in injustice, it is repugnant to Islam and is condemned as an act of Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic times). Similarly, it is utterly against the principles of Islam for a government official or public servant to support his relations at public expense or to favor his kith and his kin in his official decisions: this would actually be a sinful act. Fair treatment of one’s relations, as enjoined by Islam, should be at one’s own expense and within the limits of justice and fair play.
After relations come one’s neighbors. The Qur’an has divided them into three categories:
1. a neighbor who is also a relation
2. a neighbor who is a stranger
3. a casual or temporary neighbor with whom one happens to live or travel for a certain time.
All of them are deserving of sympathy, affection, kindness, and fair treatment. The Prophet (peace be upon him) once said that the rights of the neighbor were so strongly emphasized by Angel Gabriel that he thought neighbors might even share one ‘s inheritance. (Bukhari and Muslim)
The Prophet (peace be on him) said: Anyone whose neighbor is not safe from his misdeeds is not a true Believer. (Bukhari and Muslim)
Again, he said: A person who enjoys a meal while his neighbor is starving is not a true Believer. (Ahmad, Baihaqi)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was once asked about the fate of a woman who performed regular prayers and fasted extensively and who was a frequent almsgiver, but whose neighbors complained of her abusive tongue. He said: Such a woman shall be in the Hellfire. He was, then, asked about another woman who did not possess these virtues but did not trouble her neighbors either, whereupon he said: She would be in Paradise. (Ahmad, Baihaqi)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has laid so much emphasis on being considerate to neighbors that he has advised that whenever a Muslim brings home fruit for his children he should either send some to his neighbors as a gift or at least take care not to offend them by throwing the peelings away outside their door. On another occasion, he said: A man is really good if his neighbors regard him as such, and bad if they consider him so. (Ibn Majah)
Islam, therefore, requires all neighbors to be loving and helpful and to share each other’s sorrows and happiness. It enjoins them to establish social relations in which one can depend upon the other and regard his life, honor, and property as safe among his neighbors. A society in which two people, separated only by a wall, remain unacquainted with one another for years, and in which those living in the same area of a town have no interest or trust in one another, can never be called Islamic.
Next to these come the wider relationships covering the whole of society. The broad principles on which Islam wants people to structure their social lives are:
Help you one another in Al-Birr and Al-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness, and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. (Qur’an 5: 2)
You are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Maruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief, and all that Islam has forbidden. (Qur’an 3:110)
Do not think evil of each other, nor probe into each other’s affairs, nor incite one against the other. Avoid hatred and jealousy. Do not unnecessarily oppose each other. Always remain the slaves of Allah, and live as brothers to each other. (Muslim)
Do not help a tyrant, knowing him to be such. (Abu Daud)
To support the community when it is in the wrong is like falling into a well while catching the tail of your camel which was about to fall into it. (Abu Daud; Mishkat)
No one among you shall be a true believer unless he likes for others what he likes for himself. (Bukhari and Muslim)
A slight nod of the head, a brief hello in the hallway or perhaps helping with a car stuck in the snow during winter. That’s usually the most communication many of us have with those who are physically closer to us than most of our relatives, our neighbours.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) once said, “Jibril kept recommending treating neighbours with kindness until I thought he would assign a share of inheritance” (Bukhari and Muslim).
Wow, our inheritance.
But let’s think of something smaller. How about food? It’s been said that food unites. While we all have our own tastes, “American” food (i.e. fruits, veggies, chips, cookies, chocolate cake, frozen pizza, etc.) can be found in virtually all of our homes, even those who staunchly cling to their ethnic identities. When was the last time we offered a bag of chips or cookies to the kids downstairs? When was the last time we cut up some watermelon on a hot day and offered it to our neighbours?
“O Abu Dharr! Whenever you prepare a broth, put plenty of water in it, and give some of it to your neighbours,” the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised his Companion in a Hadith in Muslim.
It’s not just about hunger. In America, the land of plenty, Alhamdu lillah, we won’t find the shortage of food we would in many Muslim countries. Here, food really is about uniting people, sharing what’s common to our humanity. It’s also about building neighbourly relations through small acts of kindness.
“By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer! By Allah, he is not a believer,” the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said. It was asked, “Who is that, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “One whose neighbour does not feel safe from his evil” (Bukhari and Muslim).
Maybe we’re not so bad. At least we don’t yell and scream at our neighbours, threaten them, cheat them or lie to them. But we’re reminded of our negligence towards our neighbours when we realize that how we treat them relates to our relationship with Allah, which is the very core of who we are as Muslims.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “the best of companions with Allah is the one who is best to his companions, and the best of neighbours to Allah is the one who is the best of them to his neighbour” (Tirmidhi).
The future of Islam doesn’t only depend on this exchange of values and information. Our very faith and connection to Allah is reflected in how we treat our neighbours. Perhaps this is the push we need to start connecting with them so we can better our relationship with Allah.