When Was The Last Time You Raced With Your Wife?
You might mockingly or disapprovingly smile, yet the question remains, for it bespeaks an invitation to you to follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, in his kind attitude toward his wives.
If you claim to follow and love the Noble Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, Sunnah, in keeping a beard, cleaning your teeth with a Siwaak (tooth stick), and shortening your clothes to reach above the ankle, you are likewise required to emulate him in the way he treated his spouses.
Moreover, the leniency, mercy, and patience of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, with his wives is not merely his tradition, but an obligation confirmed by many Quranic verses, among which is the one in which Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:20]
He (PBUH) said: “He is the best amongst you who is the kindest towards his wives and I am the kindest amongst you towards my wives.”
Thus, racing was a compassionate gesture of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, in order to be friendly and open with his wives.
Aaishah [Allah be pleased with her] narrates that as a young and thin girl, she was once accompanying the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, on one of his journeys. He, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam asked his Companions to move ahead of them, which they did. He, sallaallahu alayhi wa sallam, then asked to race with her; she did and won.
Sometime later, after she had forgotten about this, she was with the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, on another of his journeys and he wanted to race her. She wanted to excuse herself, by telling him she could not, since she had gained some weight, but he, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, insisted. They raced and this time he (PBUH) won; so the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, laughed and said; “This [is] for that.”
Some husbands content that they do not race with their wives because they are too busy and have many responsibilities. Our retort is that by no means can they be busier than the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, who bore the responsibility of conveying the Message of Islam to the entire world.
He also led the army in combat alongside running errands for his family and doing household chores. Nevertheless, all this did not stop him from twice racing with his wife Aaishah[RA].
Other husbands might argue that the streets are not a suitable place for racing; so, they can surely take their wives away from people, on a picnic.
Moreover, competition is not just in running.
One can compete to win in a permissible electronic game or general knowledge quiz, in which one can ask each other questions and keep score.
The third group of husbands believes that such competitions may cause their wives to become too bold and eventually challenge them.
This is not true, because the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, raced with his wife, so this is an act to be followed, for copying his behavior with his wives can bring nothing but good.
Also, modern research has established that being kind and easygoing with one’s wife makes it easier for her to be mindful of you.
There are lessons to be learned from the aforementioned incident related by Aaishah concerning the Prophet’s, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, kindness toward his wives.
1- The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, was the one to ask for a race both times.
This teaches husbands that they should take the initiative in such competitions. Wives may be too busy with housework or fear rejection or, as is the generally innate nature of women, be too shy to propose such an idea.
However, on their part, they should try to urge their husbands when they see they are free and in a good mood.
2- A husband should not incessantly brag of superiority over his wife.
We notice that the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, outran Aaishah after she had already outrun him the first time.
3- Alternately, a husband should neither always deliberately lose for the sake of his wife or the competition would be meaningless.
The factor that decided the winner of Aaishah the first time was her youth and fitness, and when she put on some weight, the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, outran her.
4- A husband should remember that such competitions are just for amiability and fun.
Neither of the spouses should get worked up or a row could ensue and the activity would lose its desired aim. This can be understood from the reaction of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, who only cheerfully referred to his win to counter that of Aaishah’s.
Verily in the noble way of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam is there a recipe for happiness
Rooh
Prophet Muhammad: A Relation With God That Is Based On Love
The problem faced by human beings is that they are required to elevate themselves to the level of the highest society of the angels when they have been created of the clay of the earth. They are not required to be angels; that is beyond them since they are subject to the needs of their bodies. They are required to resist sinking into low depths by looking up to the sublime, to counter forgetfulness by God’s remembrance, and to overcome selfishness by human brotherhood. Having been granted life, they are required to dedicate their lives to God; they must not be preoccupied with their own needs. They should look up to the One who granted them life, directing all their life activity to the fulfillment of what He requires of them.
This needs more explanation. Angels do not eat, and as such, they do not need to grow their food and harvest their plants. Human beings need to do all that, but they become equal to the angels if they would only plant the earth, manage their harvests, and eat their food in God’s name. The time they spend in attending to all these activities is equal to the time the angels spend in glorifying and praising God if they will only reflect on God’s power and how He causes crops to grow and ripen, and appreciate His grace in providing them with sustenance, clothing, and shelter.
God has sent His messengers, from the beginning of human life, to guide people along this way. He has not sent angels as messengers, because angels have nothing to do with the tasks assigned to human beings. Unbelievers wondered at the fact that God has given His message to human messengers to deliver. They said: “Can it be that God has sent a human being as His messenger?” Say, “Had there been angels walking about on earth as their natural abode, We would have sent them an angel messenger from heaven.” Say, “Sufficient is God for a witness between me and you. He is indeed fully aware of His servants, and He sees all things.” (17: 94-96)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) provided the practical example of how people can live at the same level as the angels engaged in their glorification of God and thanksgiving. He has elevated mankind to a level in which we only see the rows of worshippers who praise and thank God or the ranks of those who dedicate themselves and their property to serving God’s cause. Muhammad certainly molded a human generation who were, in God’s measure, placed at the same level as the angels, because they abandoned all life temptations and followed the Prophet who dedicated his total existence to God, seeking only His pleasure, as the following words imply: “Say: My prayers, my worship, my living, and my dying are for God alone, the Lord of all worlds. He has no partner. Thus have I been commanded, and I shall be the first of those who surrender themselves to Him.” (6: 162-163.)
It is Muhammad’s clear knowledge of God, his continuous remembrance of Him, and His great share of the perfection that emanates from His attributes that mold his emotional and intellectual life. God has created man, giving him his form and qualities. He appointed him as His vicegerent on earth. He empowered him and assigned to him the task of exploiting the riches of the earth to build a life on it. He wants him to respect his own divine origin by not sinking into low desires. Man must be knowledgeable, noble, able, generous, compassionate, kind, and willing to give. He must fashion his life in line with the perfect qualities which God’s own attributes symbolize.
The world has never known, and will never know, a man who kept contemplating the sublime as Muhammad did. He walked on earth, but his heart was always looking up to heaven. He provided the model of perfect human life, both within himself as an individual and with his companions as a society. We see in his rational and emotional heritage all the elements man needs to fulfill the mission assigned to him in this life.
Consider the flow of powerful emotion in this heartfelt supplication the Prophet often said after obligatory prayers: “My Lord! You are our Lord and the Lord of all that exists. I bear witness that You alone are the Lord of all, without partners. My Lord! You are our Lord and the Lord of all that exists. I bear witness that Muhammad is Your servant and messenger. My Lord! You are our Lord and the Lord of all that exists. I bear witness that all mankind are brethren. My Lord! You are our Lord and the Lord of all that exists. Make me and my household sincere in our worship at every moment in this life and the life to come. You, the Lord of Supreme Majesty and unparalleled benevolence, answer our prayers. You, the Lord Supreme, Supreme! You are the light of the heavens and the earth. You, the Lord Supreme, Supreme! You are sufficient for me and I rely on You, the Lord Supreme, Supreme.”
When he feels that language cannot adequately express such a flow of feeling, the Prophet resorts to repeating the same words in order to express his love and veneration of God. It may be a repetition of words, but in effect, it airs a sense of greater love.
We note how Muhammad testifies to his being God’s messenger, and that this testimony comes in between asserting God’s oneness and the brotherhood of mankind. What does Muhammad’s assertion to his Lord that he is His servant and messenger signify? It is a kind of reconfirmation that he is willing to fulfill the task assigned to him and to complete his mission, delivering his message complete and intact to all mankind, regardless of how difficult they render his task by their rejection and false accusations.
– By SHEIKH MUHAMMAD AL-GHAZALI
Dunya Parasti Kay Mutaliq Ahkam
Social Relations Between Muslims and Non-Muslims
First of all, it should be stated that Islam does not aim at severing the ties of kinship between its adherents and their non-Muslim relatives. Islam considers these kinds of relationships to be very important, particularly between parents and children. Therefore, it should be clear that Muslims are ordered by Allah to establish good relations with their family, neighbors, and fellow humans, regardless of whether the latter are Muslims or not. So you should never neglect your ties with your parents and relatives.
Muslims are not only encouraged but rather ordered by Allah to establish good relations with their family, neighbors, and fellow humans, regardless of whether the latter are Muslims or not. As a matter of fact, the Qur’an and the Prophetic traditions are replete with orders for Muslims to foster ties of kinship regardless of differences in religion.
Allah says: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.” (Al-Israa’ 17:23-24)
The Qur’an further teaches us that honoring one’s parents has been an integral part of divine messages to all of God’s prophets and messengers from Adam to Muhammad (peace be upon them) so much so that is the foremost one, second only to worship of the One and only God.
The traditions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) further reinforce the above commandment. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Those who sever ties of kinship cannot hope to enter paradise.” Once a person asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to guide him to the best of morals, he replied, “Join ties with those who sever ties with you; give to those who deny you, and forgive those who harm you.”
So you should never neglect your ties with your parents and relatives; the fact that you are a Muslim should also enhance rather than diminish your good relations with them. Paying them regular visits and joining them in their family meals are definitely important ways to strengthen your family bond.
Having said this, however, I must also point out that the above must never lead you to compromise your commitment to the dictates of your own faith. You may do well to let them know that you would be honored to join the family at the dinner table, but that you are not allowed to consume alcohol, pork, or their by-products. This will give you an opportunity to educate them on the Islamic dietary laws and their rationale.
Finally, as you have rightly said, your visits to your family can be an excellent opportunity to expose them to the gentle and positive aspects of Islam. It would help you to know that the vast majority of people embraced Islam, coming as they were from extremely diverse religious, ethnic, and racial backgrounds, through their exposure to the beauty of Islam in practical ways. Let us remember the enduring words of the Prophet (peace be upon him), “I have been sent to perfect the highest morals”; and, “I am a gift of mercy (unto the worlds) from Allah.”
Achay Ikhlaq Wala Hona Bari Naimat Ha
Love, As A Verb
‘Why is it that I don’t feel any love for my grandparents or other close relatives, or for that matter even my spouse?’ If that’s a question that lingers in your mind, you need to look at ‘love’ from a different perspective.
Instead of considering it an emotion (noun), consider it something you gotta do (verb). And look at how your relationships change. So, when you love (as a verb) people who matter, you will serve, sacrifice, and be sincere to them. You’ll develop a sense of selflessness and devotion.
But before we get there, we need to make sure our intentions are right. Read the Qur’anic verses and the statements of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that emphasize the importance of upholding kinship ties. Be encouraged by the abundant reward Allah has promised for those who maintain ties and serve people.
“And worship Allah alone, and do not set-up any partner to Him in worship, and be kind and good to the parents, and to the relatives.” (Qur’an, 4:36)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.” (Al-Bukhari, 8/73, no. 13)
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The one who looks after a widow or a poor person is like a Mujahid (warrior) who fights in Allah’s Cause, or like him who performs prayers all the night and fasts all the day.” (Al-Bukhari, 7/64, no. 265)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
Al-Aswad Bin Yazid asked Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her), “What did the Prophet use to do at home?” She said, “He used to work for his family, and when he heard the Adhan, he would go out.” (Al-Bukhari, 7/64, no. 276)
Indeed, the Prophet’s life (peace be upon him) is an example for all people to come. He lived the Qur’an. The Sahabah strove to implement these teachings. Caliph Umar would sweep the floor of the mosque. Abu Bakr would cook and feed the blind old lady. Their lives tell us how they loved their people. They strove in selflessness. The Sahabah gave food to the guests while keeping their own children hungry.
Our world today teaches us to be selfish and materialistic. We hardly tolerate our loved ones, let alone serve them. The pursuit of luxury, wealth, and more wealth has clouded our purpose of life and sense of what happiness is. While career and earning money is required to feed our families, it should by no means become an obsession. Allah says in the Qur’an:
“And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone). I seek not any provision from them nor do I ask that they should feed Me (i.e. feed themselves or My creatures). Verily, Allah is the All-Provider, Owner of Power, the Most Strong.” (Qur’an, 51:56-58)
Our provision has been written down. It is Allah who provides us. Yes, we must seek it, but it’s Allah who provides. Knowing this should free up our mind so we could focus on the thing that matters, i.e. the purpose of life, the worship of Allah.
As Muslims, we submit to our Creator. We seek His Pleasure in what we do and we follow His Guidance. It is only that life that brings true joy to the heart and fills us with contentment, as opposed to a life of greed and dissatisfaction.
So, love with all passion and selflessness, but only and only for the sake of Allah. It is only then that you’ll taste the sweetness of that missing feeling.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith: 1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle become dearer than anything else; 2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah’s sake; 3. Who hates to revert to (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire.” (Al-Bukhari, 1/2, no. 15)
– by Faraz Omar
Tawakkul Kay Mutaliq Ahkam
What the Qur’an Teaches: In Defense Of Prophet Moses
In the name of God, the Lord of Grace, the Ever Merciful
A believing man of Pharaoh’s family, who until then had concealed his faith, said: Would you kill a man because he says, “God is my Lord,” when he has brought you all evidence of the truth from your Lord? If he is a liar, his lie will fall back on him; but if he is speaking the truth, something of what he warns you against is bound to befall you. God will not grace with His guidance anyone who is a lying transgressor. My people! Yours is the dominion today, having the upper hand in the land; but who will rescue us from God’s punishment should it befall us? Pharaoh said: “I am only putting before you what I see myself, and I am guiding you to none other than the path of rectitude.” (The Forgiving; Ghafir: 40: 28-29)
At this point in the story of Moses, a man from Pharaoh’s own household who had accepted the truth but kept his faith secret begins his argument in defense of Prophet Moses (peace be upon him).
In his address to Pharaoh and his courtiers, the man tries to touch their hearts with his advice and makes very convincing arguments that combine facts with the prospect of dreadful consequences.
This is a long, powerful argument advanced by a believer against the conspirators in Pharaoh’s court. His argument relies on the sound logic of uncorrupted human nature. It is a skillful argument that combines caution with power. He begins first by describing the enormity of what they propose to do: “Would you kill a man because he says, God, is my Lord?” Do such innocent words that imply personal conviction deserve killing the person who says them? Can such words be answered by murder? Shown in this way, your action appears to be gruesome, horrid, and repugnant.
He then takes a step forward, saying that this person, Moses, supports his own statement with solid and clear evidence: “He has brought you all evidence of the truth from your Lord.” Here, he is referring to the signs Moses had shown them. They certainly saw these signs, and when they were together, away from the masses, they could not argue about such signs nor their import.
The believer then puts to them the worst possible situation, taking an objective attitude to allow them to reflect on such a scenario: “If he is a liar, his lie will fall back on him.” If he is lying, he will bear the consequences of his lie and suffer his punishment. However, this does not justify killing him. There is, however, the other possibility that what he says is true. It is, then, prudent to be careful and not to expose oneself to its consequences: “But if he is speaking the truth, something of what he warns you against is bound to befall you.” Again this is the least that can be expected in this case. The man did not ask them to consider anything beyond this. His purpose was to make an objective stand, one that provided the most convincing argument.
He then delivers an implicit warning: one that applies to them and to Moses alike: “God will not grace with His guidance anyone who is a lying transgressor.” If this applies to Moses, God will not allow him to escape unscathed. Leave him to God, then, to receive his due punishment. However, you must be careful lest you be the ones who are lying transgressors because this will mean your inescapable doom.
The believer then gives them a strong warning against incurring God’s punishment, reminding them that should it befall them, no power can avert it. Their kingdom and power will then be of little use. They should remember this and be grateful to God for having given them what they enjoyed: “My people! Yours is the dominion today, having the upper hand in the land; but who will rescue us from God’s punishment should it befall us?”
At heart, the man feels what a true believer should feel: God’s punishment is closest to those who are in power. Therefore, they are the ones who should be most careful and should try their best to avoid it. It could come upon them at any moment of the night or day, so they must dread such a possibility. The man reminds them of the power and authority they enjoyed and includes himself among them as he reminds them of God’s punishment:
“Who will rescue us from God’s punishment should it befall us?” He, thus, shows them that what happens to them is a matter of great concern to him; he is one of them, awaiting the same destiny. Hence, his kind and caring advice. He hopes that they will take this to heart, realizing that it is meant most sincerely and that they stand no chance against God’s punishment should it befall them.
At this point, Pharaoh demonstrates the feeling that possesses any tyrant receiving honest advice. He turns in arrogance, perceiving detraction from his authority and encroachment on his dominion: “Pharaoh said: I am only putting before you what I see myself, and I am guiding you to none other than the path of rectitude.” I am only telling you what I know to be true and useful. It is indeed the proper path to follow. Has anyone ever heard of a tyrant who did not feel that what he said was right and full of wisdom? Would any tyrant allow for someone to imagine that he be wrong? Do tyrants allow anyone to uphold a view other than theirs? How else do they become tyrants?