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How To Deal With Food We Don’t Like

Bursting over food not cooked to our taste is a sin that few escape. Extreme fury and anger, mostly with spouses, is expressed by rejecting food and refusing to eat, undermining this great blessing many are deprived of.

Yes, mistakes happen. The wife may have forgotten to add salt. In such situations, we ought to be patient, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) was when his wives cooked food he didn’t like.

Abu Hurairah reported: “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) never found fault with food. If he had inclination to eating it, he would eat; and if he disliked it, he would leave it.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Or he would say, “I do not feel like eating this.” (Al-Bukhari, no. 5076, and Muslim no. 1946)

Sometimes he would praise the food, as when he asked his family for food, and they said, “We have nothing but vinegar.” He asked for it and started to eat it, saying, “What a good food is vinegar.” (Sahih Muslim, no. 2052)

These Ahadith throw light on the Prophet’s excellent manners which ought to be followed by all Muslims. It is a deplorable state of affairs that when we find a dish a bit unsavory, we lose our temper and create quite a scene in the house.

Another important aspect is not hurting your wife’s feelings. He or she might have exerted so much effort in cooking that for us. Positive and encouraging statements are more helpful in correcting people than hurting their feelings.

Are We Born With Religion?

Sometimes people wonder whether religion is inherited. Could it be genetic? Is there something in man’s make-up that sways him to be religious, or to reject religion? If so, is he influenced by his parent’s religion? What about the children of interfaith marriages? The ready answer offered on the basis of both science and reason is that belief in a religion is not genetic.

It is something that we choose for ourselves, influenced by various factors, no doubt, but there is nothing in our makeup to make us lean toward a particular religion. When we are born, we have no knowledge of anything, whether religious or temporal. God says in the Qur’an: “Allah has brought you forth from your mothers’ wombs devoid of all knowledge, but He has given you hearing, and sight, and minds.” (16: 78) Our knowledge is acquired, not inherent. Yet we have the faculties of perception which will indeed influence how we react to what we acquire of knowledge.

This is indeed confirmed by the Prophet in the following hadith quoted by Abu Hurayrah: “Every newborn is born with sound nature. It is his parents who bring him up as a Christian, a Jew, or a Zoroastrian. It is just like an animal is born whole: you do not see any of them born with a cut ear.” As he reported this Hadith, Abu Hurayrah quoted the Qur’anic verse that says: “(It is) the natural disposition which God has installed into man. Nothing can change God’s creation. Such is the ever-true faith.” (30: 30)

The Hadith stresses the fact that we are all born with the same clear image of religion. It does not matter what religion our families follow, we have the same blank sheet at birth. We are just like clear and pure water which has no taste, smell, or color. When you add salt, sugar, or lemon juice to water, you make it salty, sweet, or sour. You can color it with whatever dye you put in it. The Prophet gives the analogy of cattle and how they are born completely: none is born with a cut ear or nose. It is people who print their marks on cattle or cut their ears or noses to mark them for identification.

The Prophet says that it is a child’s parents that make him a Jew, a Christian or a Zoroastrian. It is how they bring him up. Thus, it is the family and social environment that influence a child’s identity, giving him his religion.

When a child grows up in a religious environment, he will follow the religion he is brought up in. Likewise, if he is brought up in an atheist or agnostic environment, he will not care about religion.

If we imagine someone growing up without any environmental influence whatsoever as far as religion is concerned, he will retain his clear nature. As such, he tends to believe that the universe is created by a Supreme Being and that Supreme Being is one and has no partners. This is the religion of clear human nature. This is the natural disposition God has installed in man.

The more contemplation in the universe around us we do, the stronger is our belief that everything in it is controlled by its Creator, the Supreme Being we call God in English, Allah in Arabic, and by other names in other languages.
-by Adil Salahi

Balancing The Life Of A Muslim

It goes without saying that there are many demands on us as Muslims. We have a lot of work to do but unfortunately, there are not enough of us living up to the responsibilities Muslims face in this day and age.

First, we have a vital need to learn and understand Islam so that we may practice it in the way that pleases Allah most. We do this so that we may lead peaceful and successful lives here on earth and, Insha’ Allah are granted Allah’s mercy in the next life in Paradise.

Once we have a solid footing in understanding and practicing our faith, we must then invite others to Islam in the most proper and effective ways we can. This alone is a tremendous undertaking considering that there is such widespread ignorance of Islam in the world today. Defending Islam against those who seek to curb its growth and against those who abuse Muslims is also a major concern for all of us who are sincere in our desire to create strong bonds of brotherhood among the followers of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

We need to advance the condition of Muslims in the world today and restore the authority of Allah and His commands for the benefit of all mankind.

Of course, none of us can accomplish these things on our own. Nor can we do all of these things at once, as much as we’d like to. Setting priorities and establishing balance in our lives are most important. Priorities start with the Fard, or obligatory acts of worship (ibadat) and deeds (mu`amalat). This means that we have responsibilities toward Allah first, the One Who created us and provided us with everything we need in this life. We need to obey Him because we trust that He will only command us what benefits us and forbids us to do those things which cause us harm.

The importance of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is that he provides guidance and interpretation of Allah’s commands. The Qur’an provides guidance for all of mankind but cannot give us information regarding all of the details we come across in our daily lives. We will never match the Prophet’s piety and wisdom, but we are not expected to. The Prophet (PBUH) has encouraged us to hold fast to the Qur’an and then follow his ways to the best of our ability.

We need to build our own faith and understanding of Islam, and then work on our surroundings. As I mentioned above, we cannot do everything all at once. Our bodies have rights over us. Getting enough nutrition, sleep, and exercise is very important, but we do not spend all of our time on these things. Our families and friends have rights over us, but we do not spend all of our time and efforts trying to please them alone. Our society has rights over us, but we do not devote ourselves to serving it at the expense of neglecting ourselves and our loved ones. It is better to pick a cause to strive for and become excellent in it, rather than to spread oneself too thin working for many causes at once and therefore failing to give each one the attention and effort it deserves.

To summarize, basically, the priorities we need to set as Muslims should be as follows:

  •        Allah: following His commands and worshiping Him
  •         Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): implementing his Sunnah (Traditions & habits) as much as possible
  •         Parents: obeying and being kind to them
  •         Spouses and children: cherishing and protecting them
  •         Extended family: honoring and being kind to them
  •         Fellow Muslims and friends: loving them and encouraging them to do what is right
  •         Society: working to improve its condition and guiding it toward Allah.

This does not mean that we cannot focus on more than one thing at a time, only that we should never exert too much effort on things lower down on the list at the expense of those things higher up on the list.

Being Kind To Old Parents

The young man in his thirties takes a deep breath. He is standing in the hallway of a bustling hospital, waiting for the elevator, where he has brought his mother for a doctor’s appointment. She is walking slowly with her limp, blocking the way of several young people who are hurrying to get into the waiting lines. Whenever his mother’s slow movement blocks passersby, their faces barely hide their impatience. Embarrassed, the young man looks down and avoids their eyes, while patiently bearing with his elderly mother.

Allah says: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And spread over them humbly the wings of tenderness, and say: ‘O my Sustainer! Bestow Your grace upon them, just as they cherished and reared me when I was a child.” (Qur’an, 17:23-24)

Sometimes, people compare weak old age to human infancy. They make comparisons about how, when a person grows very old, they need to be helped to sit up, fed mashed, bland food, and cooed and cajoled to eat like babies. Some may need to wear adult diapers at night if their incontinence reaches an advanced stage.

However, the comparison may not be correct. No matter how hard it is for a new mother to take care of her baby round the clock, with nights providing little sleep and being on-call to change diapers or breastfeed at inopportune times, she has hope that this difficult phase will pass soon and that one day she will see her baby all grown up. She looks forward to the time when her baby will start to walk, talk and play. She knows that her tough initial motherhood duties will eventually lighten up with her baby’s growth and independence.

How They Prayed

From the lives of our pious predecessorsAL-Qasim Bin Muhammad said, “Whenever I went out in the morning, I used to visit Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with her), (his aunt and the wife of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and greet her.

One day I found her performing the Ad-Duha prayer, reciting this verse repeatedly, crying, and invoking Allah:

“So Allah has been gracious to us, and has saved us from the torment of the Fire.” (Qur’an, 52:27)

I stood there until I felt bored, so I left and went to the market (for some work). When I finished and went back to her, I found her still standing in prayer, reciting the same verse, crying and invoking Allah.'” (Al-Ihya 4/436)

Allah Knows Everything That Will Happen

“Does God know everything that is going to happen? – Does He have absolute control over the outcome of everything? – If so, how is that fair for us? Where is our free will then?”

Allah Knows everything that will happen. The first thing He created was the “pen” and He ordered the pen to write. The pen wrote until it had written everything that would happen. And then Allah began to create the universe. All of this was already known to Him before He created it. He does have absolute and total control at all times. There is nothing that happens except that He is in control of it. There is a mistake in the question: “Free Will.” Allah alone, has Free Will, He Wills whatever He likes and it will always happen as He wills. We have something called, “Free choice.” The difference is that what Allah “Wills” always happens and what we choose may or may not happen. We are not being judged on the outcome of things, we are being judged on our choices. This means that at the core of everything will always be our intentions. Whatever we intended, is what we will have the reward for. Each person will be judged according to what Allah gave them to work with, how they used it, and what they intended to do with it.

As regards the actual “Judgment Day” – Allah tells us that everything we are doing is being recorded and not a single tiny thing escapes from this record. Even an atom’s weight of good will be seen on the Day of Judgment and even a single atom’s weight of evil will be seen too.

The one who will bring the evidence against us will be ourselves. Our ears, tongue, eyes, and all of our bodies will begin to testify against us in front of Allah on the Day of Judgment. None will be oppressed on that Day, none will be falsely accused.

He could have put everyone in their respective places from the very beginning, but the people would complain as to why they were thrown in Hell without being given a chance. This life is exactly that; a chance to prove to ourselves who we really are and what we would really do if we indeed had a free choice.

Allah Knows everything that will happen, but we don’t. That is why the test is fair.

500 Years of Worship

Angel Jibrail (as) told Rasulullah (peace be upon him) the following incident about a man in the past who worshiped Allah Ta’ala continuously for 500 years. He was granted shelter on top of a mountain that was surrounded by salty water. However, Allah caused a stream of sweet water to flow through the mountain for that individual. The man would drink from this water and use it to make ablution. Allah Ta’ala also raised a pomegranate tree from which the man would eat one fruit every day.

One day, this person supplicated to Allah that, “Oh Allah, bring my death while I am in the state of prostration.” Allah accepted this dua of his. Whenever Jibrail (as) came down to the Earth, he found this man prostrating to Allah. Jibrail (as) said that on the day of Judgement, Allah will tell the angels to take this individual to Paradise through His mercy. However, this man will insist that he should enter paradise through the good deeds that he had performed.

Then, Allah will tell the angels to compare his good deeds with the blessings that were given to him in the world. It will be seen that 500 years of his worship does not even equal the gift of eyesight that was given to him by Allah. The angels will be asked to take him towards the hell fire. Then the man will plead, “Oh Allah! Enter me into Paradise only through Your mercy.” At that point, the following discussion will take place between Allah and that man.

Allah: Oh my servant, who created you?

The worshipper: Oh Allah, You have created me.

Allah: Were you created because of the good deeds you have done or because of My mercy?

The worshipper: Because of Your mercy.

Allah: Who granted you the ability to worship for 500 years?

The worshipper: Oh the Almighty! You have granted me that ability.

Allah: Who placed you on the mountain surrounded by the ocean? Who caused a stream of sweet water to flow in between the salty water? Who caused a pomegranate tree to grow for you? Who granted you death while in the state of prostration?

The worshipper: Oh the Sustainer of the Worlds! You have done all of these.

Then Allah will say, “All these have happened due to My mercy and you too will enter Paradise only through My Mercy.”

We can never thank Allah for the blessings that He has given us. Let us use these blessings to recognize Allah before our death.

Source: Obtained from the book “Tambihul Ghafileen” by Shaikh Abul Laith Samarkandi.