Children’s Duties Toward Parents
ISLAM has laid great stress on the rights of parents and the duties of children. To be obedient to parents and to show kindness to them has been enjoined in the Holy Qur’an in such a manner that it appears that among human deeds, to obey parents and treat them with respect and kindness is next only to Divine worship.
The Holy Qur’an says: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents.” (17;23)
According to a Hadith (saying of Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him), the parents of a person constitute his Heaven or Hell. This implies that if a person obeys his parents and attends to their needs and comforts and keeps them happy, he will enter into Paradise. On the other hand, if he is rude and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by causing them grief in any other way, his place shall be in Hell.
Anyone who seeks to please Allah should earn the good pleasure of his parents. To keep the parents well-pleased is essential since their anger and displeasure will lead to Allah’s anger and displeasure.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said: “In the good pleasure of the father lies the good pleasure of the Creator and in his displeasure lies the displeasure of the Creator.”
Here the mother has not been mentioned but, according to many other Ahadith, the rights of the mother with regard to service and kind treatment is even higher than that of the father. Therefore, her pleasure or displeasure will carry an equal significance.
The time that the parents need to be looked after most carefully is in their old age, and to serve them devotedly in that state is most pleasing to Allah and it is an easy way to attain Paradise.
Abu Hurairah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “May he be disgraced, may he be disgraced, may he be disgraced.” “Who?” the Companions asked. “The person whose parents, or anyone of them, attain old age during his life-time and he does not enter Paradise (by being kind-hearted and dutiful to them)!”
Therefore, anyone who gets an opportunity to serve his parents in their old age and does not avail himself of this reward (to attain Paradise), undoubtedly, he is a most wretched person.
Abu Hurairah narrates that a person asked the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him): “Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “Your mother, and again your mother, and once again your mother. After her, is the claim of your father, then that of your near relations, and then of the relations next to them.”
This shows that where care and kind treatment are concerned, the claim of the mother is greater than that of the father.
It appears to be the same in the Holy Qur’an too. In many instances, the pain and the suffering which the mother has to bear during pregnancy, at childbirth, and in the bringing up of the children, has been mentioned along with the importance of showing kindness to parents.
In one Hadith the Prophet (peace be upon him) has clearly stated that a person’s Paradise lies at his mother’s feet. By serving her well and being obedient to her, one can attain Paradise.
In some other Ahadeeth, the Prophet (peace be upon him) explained that serving the mother, maternal aunt and maternal grandmother are among the acts by virtue of whose merit even the repentance of a great sinner and evil-doer is accepted and he is forgiven.
If one’s parents are polytheists and they want one to follow their faith, one should refuse to do so but should continue to be kind and respectful to them.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) is reported to have said: “Obey your parents and treat them with kindness, your children will be kind and obedient to you.”
Asma Bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah, to meet her. Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma enquired of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as to how she was to treat her – whether she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat her like a daughter should, and show kindness to her. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told her to be kind and considerate and to deal with her as was a mother’s due from a daughter.
The rights of parents do not come to an end with their death. In fact, some of their rights take effect even after their death, and it is a religious obligation of the children to fulfill them.
Obeying one’s parents and treating them with respect and affection is great virtue and it expiates one’s sins. Similarly, to pray Allah to have mercy on them after their death is an act which brings comfort to them in their graves and serves to atone for one’s sins.
After the death of one’s parents one’s duties among others should be to pray for their forgiveness and treat their relatives and friends with due respect.
In the Holy Qur’an, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the verse “And say, ‘My Lord. Have mercy on both of them, as they cared for me when I was little’.”
The real reward for serving the parents, with great care, is Paradise and the pleasure of Allah. But the Almighty bestows a special favor, in this world too, on the believer who discharges obligations towards one’s parents’ with devotion. Jabir reports that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah prolongs the life of a person who obeys his parents and serves them devotedly.”
Just as the Prophet (peace be upon him) declared that serving one’s parents well is an act of great virtue, he condemned showing of disobedience to them, or harming them, as a most serious and detestable sin.
When asked about the major sins, the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey parents, to kill unlawfully and to give false evidence.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has said, “To abuse one’s parents is also a major sin.” He was asked: “Can anyone abuse his parents?” “Yes,” the Prophet (peace be upon him) replied, “If a person abused someone else’s parents and that person, in retaliation, abused his parents, then it is as though he himself had abused his parents.”
One can conclude from this what an important place respect for parents occupies in the moral and social teachings of Islam, and how careful one should be about it.
There are many verses in the Holy Quran on how to behave with parents. Islam is a religion with has given most eminent honor to the Parents, ALLAH the almighty loves those people who respect their parents..ALLAH has commanded us to talk to them in a kind way.. Parents are invaluable gift from ALLAH to us..
Say a prayer to ALLAH,
“Oh ALLAH! Have pity on my Parents as they took pity on me when I was young”
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, “What is this?”
The Son replied “It is a crow”.
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?”
The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”.
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, “What is this?”
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.
A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, “What is this?”
This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT
IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening
a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :-
“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and
I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I
did not at all feel irritated. I rather felt affection for my innocent child”.
While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when
today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So..
If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”.