10 Tips To Be A Successful Husband
1. Dress up well for one’s wife:
Dress up for your wife, look clean, and smell good. When was the last time we men looked good to please our wives? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice to him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) – would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use likable names for your wife:
Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Recognize the good & focus on that:
Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. Be silent on the wrongs:
If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) – used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives – radi Allahu ‘anhum. It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife:
Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)- would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.
6. Thank her:
Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and does a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Make her happy:
Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your Life.
8. Comfort her:
Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasullullah( sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah – radi Allahu ‘anha – was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous:
Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam – would race his wife Aisha -radi Allahu ‘anha – in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Try to be the Best:
Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger – sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: “The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!
In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah – azza wa jall – to make your marriage successful.
And Allah ta’ala knows best !!
Good Deeds That We Can Do Every Day To Increase Our Hasanaat
Praise be to Allah.
If Allah helps him to do righteous deeds, the Muslim can earn a great deal of reward.
There are many different kinds of righteous deeds that can be done by rich and poor, old and young, male and female, depending on each person’s circumstances, ambition and energy, after the help of Allah.
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[al-Nahl 16:97]
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Hasten to do good deeds before there come tribulations like pieces of a dark night, when a man will be a believer in the morning and a kaafir by evening, or he will be a believer in the evening and a kaafir by morning, selling his religious commitment for worldly gain.” Narrated by Muslim, 118.
The kinds of good deeds that a person can do every day include the following:
1 – Praying in congregation in the mosque
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever goes to the mosque in the morning and evening, Allah will prepare for him an honorable place in Paradise every time he goes and comes.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 631; Muslim, 669.
2 – Attending funerals and offering the funeral prayer
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever attends a funeral until he offers the (funeral) prayer will have one qiraat (of reward) and whoever attends until the burial is done will have two qiraats.” It was said: “What are the two qiraats?” He said: “Like two great mountains.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1261; Muslim, 945
Parenting: Islam’s Positive Approach
One of the greatest challenges a Muslim will ever face is being a parent. This is one challenge, however, many of us are least prepared for. Allah tells us in the Qur’an that our children are our trial and as such we should take the task of parenting seriously, and start learning from each other. In my experience in dealing with my own family and counseling other Muslim families, a model has developed based on what I call “The Positive Approach”.
Compassion (Rahmah)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stated: “He is not of us who does not have compassion for his fellow beings.” It is interesting to note that when it comes to Hadith like this or Qur’anic quotes dealing with human behavior, we never stop to think that our children and family members are also our fellow human beings and that these golden rules must also be applied to them. Compassion is only one component of the concept of mercy (rahmah) — the others being kindness, respect, and of course love. Remember the displeasure of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when Al-Aqra Ibn Habis told him how he had never kissed any of his 10 children. Upon hearing that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told him, “You have no mercy and tenderness at all. Those who do not show mercy to others will not have God’s mercy shown to them.”
Consultation (Shoura)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has related that Allah says: “Oh My servant. I look on high-handedness as something not permissible for Myself, and I have forbidden it for you. So do not oppress each other”. When we consult with each other in the domestic realm, both husband and wife must show respect for each other. This is one of the best ways to bond and to learn and listen to each other and to resolve conflicts. However, the consultation will only be fruitful if it is sincere and not merely a formality. Imposition of one’s ideas with scant regard to the welfare of the whole family unit defeats the purpose of the most important Qur’anic principle.
Cooperation
The concept of cooperation in Islam is most beautifully illustrated in Surah Al-Asr : “… counsel each other to the truth (haq), and counsel each other to patience and fortitude (sabr)”. When a family unit cooperates in this manner, they truly capture the spirit of Islam — the welfare of each member of the family becomes the concern of the other.
Commitment
It is extremely important that our families commit themselves as a unit to Allah and His Prophet (peace be upon him ): “Obey Allah and His Prophet and those in authority over you” (Surah An-Nisa). This collective commitment gives us an identity and maps out our purpose — namely that we all belong to Allah and are accountable and responsible to Him.
Musalmano Kay Chand Haqooq
The Excellence Of Reciting The Qur’an
Quran as an Intercessor
Abu Umamah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying, ” Read the Qur’an, for it will come as an intercessor for its reciters on the Day of Resurrection .”
[Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith tells the excellence of reciting the Qur’an and acting upon its injunctions. Intercession (in this Hadath) means that the Qur’an will be endowed with the power of speech by Allah and it will request Allah to forgive the sins of its reciters who acted upon its teachings. Allah will accept the request of the Qur’an, as signified in other Ahadith.
Quran on the day of Resurrection
An-Nawwas bin Sam`an (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying, ” The Qur’an and its people who applied it, will be brought on the Day of Resurrection preceded with Surat Al-Baqarah and Surat Al-`Imran arguing on behalf of those who applied them .”
[Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith means that on the Day of Requital, the Qur’an, with Surat Al-Baqarah and Al-`Imran in the forefront, will intercede before Allah for those who used to recite and act upon them in the life of the world.
`Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`As (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, ” The one who was devoted to the Qur’an will be told on the Day of Resurrection: `Recite and ascend (in ranks) as you used to recite when you were in the world. Your rank will be at the last Ayah you recite .”’
[Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].
Commentary: This Hadith mentions the merit of those who commit the Qur’an (whole or part thereof ) to memory ( Huffaz). The word `ascend’ here means to rise in ranks in the Jannah. The more one remembers the Qur’an, the more clear and distinct is his recitation of it, the higher would be the status that he will go on attaining through its blessings. Thus, this Hadith provides inducement for the remembrance of the Qur’an and tells us that its frequent recitation is a means to attain higher ranks in Jannah.
Our Hope Is Between Our Tears
When trials come, as they do, what will the first words on our lips be? To Umm Zayed, the words of the Istirjaa prayer – to Allah we belong and to Him will we return – helped her to reconcile with a sudden and unexpected loss.
WE are taught that we should not ask for or seek out trials or difficulties in life. In fact, our Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed us to “Seek refuge with Allah from trials and tribulations, both visible and hidden” (Sahih Muslim). Yet, the virtues and rewards of observing patience in the face of adversity is highly extolled in our deen.
In the story of Umm Al-Momineen, Umm Salamah, she narrates the events following the death of her beloved husband, Abu Salamah. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) taught her how best to respond to her trial, by teaching her the beautiful words of the Istirjaa.
She says:
“The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: ‘There is no Muslim who suffers a calamity and says what Allah has commanded: ‘Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raji’oon. Allahummaa ujurni fi musibati w’ukhluf li khayran minha’ (Truly! To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. O Allah, reward me for my calamity and compensate me with something better than that), but Allah will compensate him with something better.
“When Abu Salamah died, I said, ‘Who among the Muslims could be better than Abu Salamah, the first family to migrate to the Messenger of Allah?’ Then I said (this Du’a) and Allah compensated me with the Messenger of Allah.” (Sahih Muslim).
The inspiring narrative ends on a happy note where she is blessed with a new husband in the person of the Prophet (peace be upon him) – a prospect she could never have imagined. This was the result of her faith, her patience and her Du’a at the time of her loss.
One can feel the emotional turmoil Umm Salamah went through and reflecting on the power of Allah, and make a Du’a: “Oh Allah, don’t put me into any trial. But if and when you do, for You do as You will, according to Your Wisdom, then guide me to remember You when calamity strikes. Guide me to the Istirjaa. Give me the strength of faith and soundness of mind to pray to you for patience and better compensation at that critical moment.”
“Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil).” (Qur’an, 2:155)
Indeed whatever is destined for us, good or bad, will come to pass. Allah can test us and whenever this will happen, don’t forget to say:
“Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raajioon. Allah humma ujurni fi musibati wa ikhlufli khairun minha.”
Indeed, Allah will listen our Du’a. Indeed Allah will guide us. Allah is Most Loving and Most Merciful to His servants.
The scholars have said that if we are guided to patience and to the words of Istirjaa after a disaster hits us, we should thank Allah for this honor. The Qur’an tells us: “… Give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere” (Qur’an, 2:155).
Every traumatic periods are short-lived. We should remind ourselves of the special blessing of Allah on us at hard times.
Only Allah Who took care of us yesterday and will take
“O Allah, if and when you decide to try me again, guide my heart to more than patience. Guide me to the state of Ridha (pleasure in God’s decree and decision).” Ameen.
Brushing Teeth Before Prayers
Islam takes much care of personal cleanliness and hygiene. We are required to perform ablutions before we start our prayers.
It is not enough that one should have such ablution once a day. There are several things or actions that invalidate ablution. Once it is invalidated, we cannot offer our prayers unless we have a fresh ablution. The ritual ablution for prayer consists of an obligatory part and a recommended one. The obligatory is to wash one’s face, hands up to the elbows, wiping one’s head with one’s wet hand and washing one’s feet up to the ankles. It is also obligatory to formulate at the start the intention to perform the ablution for worship. The recommended part includes rinsing one’s mouth, cleaning one’s nose and ears, as well as repeating the wash of every part three times, rather than once only. No prayer is valid unless it is preceded by an ablution that has not been invalidated. It is perfectly appropriate to perform more than one obligatory prayer with one ablution, as long as it has not been invalidated. Since we offer five obligatory prayers every day, and as these are spread throughout the day, everyone needs to perform the ablution at least three times a day.
One of the recommended practices in ablution is to clean one’s mouth. This is performed in two actions:
1 rinsing one’s mouth and
2 brushing one’s teeth.
It is generally the case that people rinse their mouths when they have ablution, but they often omit to brush their teeth, mainly because they forget or may not have a toothbrush handy. Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized this aspect of ablution in various ways. Abu Hurayrah quotes the Prophet as saying: “If it were not for fear that I would place hardship on my community, or on people, I would have ordered them to use the tooth stick at every prayer.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).
The tooth stick is taken from a tree called Arak. When the outer layer is removed, it reveals fibers that are very similar to a toothbrush. It can also be taken from the olive tree. There is nothing special about having a tooth stick from such trees. A toothbrush is just as good.
What gives us the proper understanding of this Hadith is its other version, also related by Al-Bukhari on the authority of Abu Hurayrah. It reads: “If it were not for fear that I would place hardship on my community, or on people, I would have ordered them to use the tooth stick every time they perform ablution”.
The Hadith also tells us that the Prophet was always keen to make things easier for us. It was his preference that everyone should clean their teeth before coming to prayer, or when they perform the ablution. Yet he realized that this may be difficult for some. Therefore, he put it in the way that makes it strongly recommended but not obligatory.
Duniya Wa Akhirat Ki Bhalai Ki Dua’in
Concentration In Prayers
Prayer helps people to avoid profanity and sins and to uproot evil from their souls. Prayers must be performed with complete khushu (concentration) and recited with sincerity to Almighty Allah. However, if someone does not have khushu during their prayers, their prayers would not be invalidated although their reward would be reduced. Hence, Muslims should try to avoid any distractions as much as they can during their prayers and should focus their concentration.
Almighty Allah ordains Muslims to perform prayer and urges them to do this with complete concentration and true sincerity. In the Qur an, Allah Most High says:
Guard Strictly (five obligatory) As-Salawat (the prayers) especially the middle Salat (i.e. the best prayer – Asr). And stand before Allah with obedience [and do not speak to others during the Salat (prayers)]. (Al-Baqarah 2:238).
The midmost prayer is usually described by scholars as the most praiseworthy of being performed with khushu .
Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their Salat (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness. (Al-Mu minun 23:1-2).
Prayer helps people to avoid profanity and sins and to uproot evil from their souls. Prayers must be performed with complete khushu (concentration) and recited with sincerity to Almighty Allah.