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Choosing A Good Wife

Marriage is for enjoyment and building a righteous family and a sound society. One should, therefore, marry a woman through whom these two goals can be fulfilled; a woman adorned with both physical (outer beauty) and abstract (inner) beauty.

The outer beauty is the perfection of physical characteristics because a woman who is beautiful and has a soft voice will give tranquility to the eyes that look at her and the ears that listen to her speech and the heart becomes receptive to her.

Allah said: “And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an, 30:21)

As for inner beauty, it is completeness in religion and manners. The more a woman is religious and perfect in her manners, the more beloved she will be and hence is a more suitable choice.

A religious woman will fulfill the commands of Allah, and protect the rights of her husband, children, and money. She will support him in obedience to Allah. If the husband forgets, she reminds him. If he slackens, she invigorates him, and if he gets angry she pleases him. The well-mannered woman endears herself to her husband and respects him; she does not delay anything that he likes to be done quickly, and she does not hasten anything he likes to be delayed.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: “Which of the women are best?” He replied, “If he (husband) looks at her, she pleases him, and she obeys him when he commands, and she does not deny him regarding herself, or his wealth in what he hates.” (Ahmad, An-Nasa’i)

If it is possible to find a woman who has inner and outer beauty, then this is perfection and bliss granted by Allah.

Death On Juma’a

On the virtues of Jumu’ah, eminent scholars have written books including Allama Suyuti(rahmatullahi alaiyh). In one of his books, he stated that whoever dies on Jumu’ah(day or night) ie. [Thursday night after Maghrib to – before Maghrib of Friday] is not interrogated in the grave.

Hakeem and Tirmizi(rahmatullahi alaiyhum) have stated that it is clear what position a person is granted by Allah when a person dies on Jumu’ah. Hell(Jahannam) is not lighted on that day and its days are shut down. Hence, death on Friday is auspicious because it is granted to those only whose destiny has been fixed as auspicious.

According to Allama Suyuti(rahmatullah alaiyh), a man who dies on Jumu’ah, is rewarded as a martyr and is exempted from interrogation at the grave.  (Sharhassadur)

It is stated by Sayyidina Jabir(radhiyallahu anhu) that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that whoever dies on Jumuah is saved from the tribulation of the grave and will come bearing the signs of martyrs on the Day of Judgement.  (Hulia, Abu Naim)

According to Sayyidina Ayaas bin Bakeer(radhiyallahu anhu) , the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) has said that whosoever dies on Friday day or night, is granted reward of the martyr and is saved from the trial of the grave.  (Targheeb)

Sayyidina Ibn Umar(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that, if a believer dies on Friday, Allah exempts him from the trial of the grave. There is such a moment on that day that prayers are granted. The sins of the believers are rubbed off and one year’s compensation is awarded for every step towards the Masjid for Jumu’ah prayer. Friday is the most virtuous day of the week and all the souls assemble and introduce one another.  (Ahmad, Tirmizi, Baiyhaqi)

Sayyidina Akrama bin Khalid(radhiyallahu anhu) reported that the Prophet(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said that whoever dies on Friday day or night dies in perfect belief and is saved from the tribulations of the grave.   (Baiyhaqi)

Allama Qurtubi(rahmatullahi alaiyh) mantains that these narrations are not contradictory to those in which interrogation of the grave is mentioned. But it makes it clear that Allah has exempted certain servants whom He is pleased and it is Allah’s discretion only and is not subject to questioning and ALLAH IS MOST JUST AND KNOWS BEST.

Love Of Allah

Ten causes that result in Allah’s love for His slave and the slave’s love for his Lord:

1. Reciting the Qur’an while pondering over its meanings and what is meant by it.
2. Getting closer to Allah by performing voluntary deeds after completing obligatory deeds. This is as is stated in a Hadith Qudsi: “My slave continues getting closer to Me by performing voluntary deeds until I love him.” (Al-Bukhari)
3. Continual remembrance of Allah under all circumstances, with one’s tongue, heart, and actions. The extent of one’s love of Allah is determined by this.
4. Giving precedence to what He loves over what you love when you are overtaken by your desires.
5. The heart being avid of Allah’s Names, and Attributes and the heart roaming in that garden of knowledge.
6. Observing Allah’s kindness, goodness, and bounties, both hidden and open.
7. This one is the most wonderful. The heart is soft, subdued, and meek before Allah.
8. Being alone with Allah during the time when the Lord descends during the last portion of the night while reading His Book and ending that by asking for forgiveness and repenting.
9. Sitting with the beloved and sincere, benefiting from the most fruitful of their speech. And not to speak unless speaking is more beneficial and you know that it will improve your state and be beneficial to others.
10. Remaining away from every cause that comes between the heart and Allah.

These ten causes take the lovers to the station of true love and bring them to their Beloved.
 –  Madarij As-Salikeen (vol. 3, pp. 17-18)

The Many Doors Of Sadaqah

Abu Dhar Al-Ghifari narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Sadaqah (charity) is prescribed for every person every day the sun rises.”

Abu Dhar asked: “O Messenger of Allah, from what do we give Sadaqah if we do not possess property?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The doors of Sadaqah are

  • Takbir (Allahu Akbar);
  • Subhan Allah; Alhamdulillah;
  • La-ilaha-ilAllah; Astaghfirullah;
  • Enjoining good; forbidding evil;
  • Removing thorns, bones, and stones from the paths of people;
  • Guiding the blind;
  • Listening to the deaf and dumb until you understand them;
  • Guiding a person to his object of need if you know where it is;
  • Hurrying with the strength of your legs to one in sorrow who is appealing for help; and
  • Supporting the weak with the strength of your arms.

These are all the doors of Sadaqah.” (Ahmad)

Search for Inner Peace

In the Glorious Qur’an, Allah, Most High, says: He it is Who sent down As-Sakinah (calmness and tranquility) into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more in Faith along with their (present) Faith. And to Allah belong the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise. (48:4)

We are at a time of great stress and tension. Muslims and non-Muslims both have fears and anxieties. The world situation has not been good for several decades, but since the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001, there is more distress all over the world. The situation looks very grim and terrible for the whole humanity. Social, economic, political and environmental conditions of the whole world are deteriorating. Injustice, crimes, violence, evil and sins abound everywhere in the world.

Many Muslims now feel pessimistic and disheartened. We have painful conditions in Palestine, Kashmir, Chechnya, and other places, where we see our Muslim brothers and sisters going through a lot of suffering. Wars are waged against Muslims in different parts of the world. Thousands of innocent men, women, and children are dying. The anti-Islam propaganda and Islamophobia are on the rise here and in many other places.

We need inner peace and the whole of humanity needs it. Inner peace is always important but it is most needed now. It is the peace of heart and mind. Inner peace makes people steadfast, strong, and capable to face problems. If there is no inner peace people lose the courage and strength to face difficulties. People become sick and develop many other physical, emotional, or psychological problems.

 Islam and Inner Peace
Islam is the religion of peace. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to say and write in his letters to the chiefs of tribes in his time: “Aslim Taslam (Accept Islam and find peace.)”

Islam places great emphasis on inner peace. In the Qur’an, it is called Sakinah (inner calm and tranquility), Tuma’ninah (the comfort of the heart, satisfaction, and contentment) Sharh As-Sadr (understanding, openness of the chest, restfulness). Believers receive these gifts from Allah Almighty. In the most difficult situations, Allah mentions that He bestowed inner peace on the believers.